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Ninja Garden Gnome

By: on March 06, 2015
$30.49
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Gardenzilla taking out all of your lawn ornaments? Sounds like a job for [cue music] Ninja Gnome! The squirrels and my neighbor's cat Willard better watch out too. This assassin may be tiny...and made of, like, resin...but that doesn't make him any less deadly. Well, I mean, I guess technically it does but still. He's wearing all black. He's wielding a samurai sword. And the best: a solar panel embedded in the back of his head makes his eyes glow white at night. This ninja looks threatening to me. Like a garden gnome I wouldn't want to F with.

Firebox's gnomic emblem of the Japanese feudal system is rugged enough to stand up to the elements (rain, snow, bird poo) and tall enough to stand up to 7.9" above the ground.

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Kitchen Ninja Knife Block

$111.43 from Amazon »

A Kitchen Ninja Knife Block for all the Kitchen Klutzes like me! Skilled, stealthy, and precise with my blade hovering above an onion I am not, but my inner covert agent of feudal Japan would still like to see this knife...

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8-1/2-Foot-Tall Garden Gnome Statue

$2,278.86 from Amazon »

It's gonna be tough to schlep this garden gnome around the world with you for photo ops, but I'll bet if you do the 8-1/2-foot lawn ornament will help your Instagram account go viral. Who wouldn't want to follow Gottfried...

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Mini Titanium Katana with Tritium Insert

$149 from Metal Worn »

Just as the Bride conquered O-Ren Ishii with a Hattori Hanzo katana, Metal Worn has conquered the ultimate gift for a geek with their Ti-Katana, a miniature titanium katana sword whose tsuka contains a tritium vial insert....

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Hand Forged Samurai Swords

$125 - $6,990 from Swords of Northshire »

Swords of Northshire works directly with a forge in Longquan to satisfy all of your samurai sword needs. Or, more likely, create your sudden and intense samurai sword needs. Handmade from the ground up, the retailer's...

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Caltrops Tashibishi Spiked Stoppers

$7.99 from Amazon »

Now this doesn't look like a very nice thing to do to someone. But I guess if s/he cheats, steals your wo/man, gets you fired, or breaks your favorite Star Wars collectible, one method of revenge is to Caltrops Tashibishi...

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Gardenzilla - Rampaging Kaiju Garden Gnome

$34.99 from Amazon »

Praying mantises and ladybugs are heralded for their ability to rid gardens of many common pests, but in my experience they're utterly useless when it comes to eradicating the front yard of smug, chubby, razor-phobic...

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Combat Garden Gnome

$65 from Etsy »

People just can't wait to pervert emblems of peace and goodwill, can they? First the benevolent garden gnome goes zombie and now he's Charlton Heston. Still, at under a foot tall, these combative cuties make perfect pairs--or...

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Blood Rayne Arm Blade

Sold Out from Amazon »

Although Agent BloodRayne used a similar arm blade to exterminate vampires, this non-digitized replica is made of stainless steel, not silver, so it will be of little assistance in your mission to annihilate Edward Cullen...

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Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction: Ninja Weapons

$12.26 from Amazon »

I guess ninja weapons have always been made out of everyday household items, it's just that the definition of an everyday household item isn't quite the same in contemporary America as it was in feudal Japan. So when...

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Ninja Hand Claw Climbing Tigers Spikes

$9.63 from Amazon »

Perfect for the aspiring ninja or make believe superhero, these will have you scaling trees in your backyard in no time. Made from pure black stainless steel. Just be careful you don't hurt yourself. Being a ninja is...

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Shinbudo Bokken - Japanese Training Tools

$250 - $350 from Shinbudo Weapons »

Now these are kind of cool. They're bokken, traditional, usually katana-shaped training tools used in Japanese martial arts. Dennis King of Shinbudo Weapons makes all of them himself, by hand is his Corvallis shop. Corvallis...

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Ninja Flip T-Shirt

$16.99 - $20.99 from Amazon »

Carrying around this secret identity won't create an awkward bulge at your waistline, or require you to wear an underlayer of skin-suctioning red and blue Spandex. Crazy Dog T-Shirts' flipover Ninja tee has the masked...