Nike Shoebox Safe
Swoosh your stash so sticky fingers won't swipe it. Except...bummer. The Mandem Safe, a keyed crypt for your valuables that looks like a Nike shoebox, is still just a prototype. So even harder to get right now than a pair of 2001 Air Jordan Japanese exclusives. But keep your laces crossed, and someday the Mandem will suit up, ready to play.
The safe features a 5mm folded steel interior compartment, a cam lock, and pre-drilled holes in the base for bolting it directly to the floor. Put a pair of Crocs on top to further ensure no thieving hands will come near it for fear of touching the most heinous shoes on earth and being cursed into a life of sport-sandal- and baby-carrier-wearing Dad-dom.