Lipstick Pepper Spray

By: on February 17, 2012
$4 - $12.93
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Pucker up, 'cause this big, fat, sloppy, wet one's landing right in the kisser! Ladies, we know all of your lip services are killer, but add a tube of lipstick pepper spray to your beauty routine, and they'll also be blinding, tear-jerking, suffocating, and mildly poisonous. The tube looks innocuous enough--as if it may hold the creator of those coquettish pink or vampy red Angelinas--but remove the cover, depress the aerosol button, and suddenly you're in a world of pepper vapor and cries of, "Ow, my eyes, my eyes!"

Or you would be if the cutesy concept were a little more practical to access and use. But how likely are you to be able to scrounge through your purse during an attack, and come up with the one of the 12 tubes of lipstick in there that will do more than just stain your assailant's shirt? Self-defense and protection are one thing, but come on. When we're talking pepper spray in a lipstick tube you know we're really talking the element of surprise in a bathroom or dance floor girl fight. Example: When you realize violence is answer at the lavatory, remove the lipstick's cap and lean toward the mirror, as if for a better application view. Then, in a single stealth maneuver, pivot a quarter turn and douse the ho bag standing next to you. The one who's been brushin' up her ass and flippin' her weave all over your man all night. In the ensuing commotion, slip the tube back into your clutch, yank out a souvenir braid, and make like a tree through the door. Unnoticed, unopposed, triumphant.

Lipstick pepper spray tubes are available in black silver, red, blue, and pink.

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