Instant Home Marijuana Test Kit

Posted: March 16, 2013
Instant Home Marijuana Test Kit
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My company doesn't do drug testing because it recognizes that recreational weed use has far less of an impact on an employee's ability to perform well at work than, say, the office kegerator that gets tapped every Friday. However, I still might like to have an instant home marijuana test kit just to, you know, get high and see if I could beat it. I've been thinking I should set some goals, devise a new feat to conquer, anyway and this one appears to require an investment of less than $10. So, in an expertly replicated voice of the great Cosmo Kramer, I say, "Giiidyyy-up!"

Officially termed Instant Drug Screen Dip Card Tests, these pot detection sticks will use the power of your pee to verify whether or not you'll test positive for THC, much like the EPT uses the power of your girlfriend's pee to verify whether or not you'll test positive for 18 years of child support. Dip-and-reads function by identifying drug matabolites at specific cutoff levels in human urine, performing the feat with unwavering accuracy in under 5 minutes of painless effort on the user's part. Well, painless provided the user doesn't have poor aim and piss all over his hand, in which case, better get some ManHands Cannabis soap and clean that shit up, yo.

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