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Door Stop Alarm

By: on September 22, 2013
$10.99
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This 120 dB door stop alarm could be good for traveling I guess, but if all the mean-spirited friends and family members I know figured out I was using one to protect my bedroom from their snooping eyes and fingers, I can guarantee someone would trip it at least twice a week, and probably multiple times on weekends, just to be a jackass who shatters the peaceful slumber of an angel who cannot function without 10 to 14 hours of sleep per night. The alarm has an adjustable sensitivity switch so that the cat or my mama, who is always polite and knocks...albeit a little too forcefully for my tastes...won't set it off.

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SALT Self-Defense Gun

$299.99 - $349.99 from Salt Supply »

Lorenzo Maggiore already figured out how to A-Salt bugs in an effort keep our extermination of insects simple, clean, and green. Now we have a means of SALTing humans, this time in an effort to keep our defense against...

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PEPPERALARM - Automatic Pepper Spray Anti-Theft Device

$298 from PEPPERALARM »

The PEPPERALARM is a burglar alarm system that sets out to be a little more...proactive, shall we say? Its creators call it "The Robber Stopper!" and while they don't include any testimonials from robbers the PEPPERALARM...

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Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their...

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The Lock Locker Bump-Proof Deadbolt Door Lock

$18.65 from Amazon »

Yes, we've entered the age of the Lock Locker. A time when your door locks need their own lock. And just as the Add-A-Lock locks up your knob lock, the Lock Locker puts another layer of lockdown on your deadbolt. The...

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Little Rooster Alarm Clock Vibrator

$79.99 from Amazon »

Oh (face) no, the rooster's crowing (buzzing) already?! Come (yes, please) on! Do I really have to get up (off)? I hear you, ladies. It's a brutal world of mornings, alarms, and orgasms we live in. I'll keep my fingers...

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Go Guarded Self Defense Ring

$15.99 from Amazon »

I bought my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, a purple Brutus the Bulldog keychain to serve as her attacker ass-kicking assistant, but I'll admit when it arrived, it turned out to be a lot bigger and clunkier that...

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ZBand Silent Alarm Clock

Discontinued

The Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock may still exist only in concept, but the ZBand, a vibrating bracelet alarm clock, is just a few steps away from silently and unobnoxiously rocking you awake without disturbing significant...

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You Snooze You Lose Cash Alarm Clock

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

In a nutshell--so you can start cookin' up how you're going to use the SnuzNLuz or who you're going to give it to without further ado--what you see here is an alarm clock that connects to your online bank account via...

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Bike Mine Exploding Anti-Theft Alarm

$71 from Kickstarter »

Bike Mine is a thing that makes you go boommm! At least if you're a dirty thief trying to make off with a dude's bicycle or motorcycle (or boat or jet ski if you live the kind of high rollin' life where that's a risk.)...

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Sting Ring

$17.89 from Amazon »

Who wants a fist bump? The Sting Ring is the newest beast in my menagerie of self defense tools. My digital menagerie. I don't own one of the single finger knuckle dusters, and I have no idea how effectively its 18,000,000...

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The Barisieur Coffee Brewing Alarm Clock

Josh Renouf knows what the world really needs: coffee. Stat. Like, the second it opens its eyes. And it needs it served from The Barisieur, an alarm clock topped with implements from Beaker's lab. Very nice, Mr. Renouf....

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The Skull Ultra Loud Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker

$39.32 from Amazon »

Your alarm clock with the soft hands and sweet voice telling you she made extra fluffy flapjacks for your first day of school? Ha! Mama's gone, dorm kids! This semester you wake up with THE SKULL! A "sweet" 113-decibel...