34

Year of the Dead Zombie Lingerie Calendar

By: on November 27, 2012
Sold Out from
Check It Out

On the one hand, we don't really need 2013 calendars since we're probably not going to live to see 2013, but on the other hand, the Year of the Dead calendar brims with extremely hot and voluptuous zombie ladies in lingerie and brainy matter, all of whom technically may be gazed upon prior to the apocalypse and 2013 and the months they represent that we will never experience. And I don't know about you, but I would prefer to look my death dealers in the eye...and other places...before they gnaw away at my flesh and end the 30+ years I've had the pleasure of spending on Mother Earth.

According to the artistically gifted sickos who make the Year of the Dead Zombie Lingerie Calendar (and this is at least the second year that they've done it), their time keeper represents "the sexiest, most grotesque undead girls to ever claw their way out of the grave." Women who are horrifying, yet captivating. Women who mildly repulse you, but from whom you somehow cannot look away. Like pregnant Heidi Klum or fat Christina Aguilera.

The Year of the Dead Zombie Lingerie Calendar is a 12 x 12 glossy collection of morbidity that's best displayed on the wall of one's office or ceiling of one's bedroom. Buy early to ensure ample "quality time" can be enjoyed with it prior to December 21st.

Check it out

Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

Check it out

TRON: Legacy Siren Gem Bodysuit

$2k from Dame Fatale »

Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...

Check it out

Latex Bat Underwear

$80 from Etsy »

Warning: Abigail Greydanus' latex bat underwear are slightly NSFW. Probably both in terms of viewing enlarged photos of them, and physically wearing them at the office, as my experience with latex is that it is the textile...

Check it out

Santa Jumpsuit

[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

Check it out

Cereal Motel Adult Cereals

$12.50 from Cereal Motel »

Cereal Motel has a slightly different take on "adult" cereal than Fiber One and unfrosted Mini Wheats do. It's a take I like a whole, whole lot more than whole grains and improved bowel movements. Cereal Motel makes "deliciously...

Buy Now

Raunchy Wrapping Paper (NSFW)

$6.19 - $7.69 from Amazon »

Raunchy Wrap R-rated wrapping paper reminds me of something my lyrical hero Ludacris once said during his guest vocals on Usher's smash hit dance track "Yeah": "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed." This...

Check it out

Show Me Your Kitty Panties

$10.90 from Etsy »

Cats hide in the darndest of places, don't they? Etsy shop owner Elena prints adorable images of kitties onto semi-sexy pairs of underwear to create the overall awesome effect of the literal cuddly creature ladies obsess...

Buy Now

This Book Is a Planetarium

$25.19 from Amazon »

This Book Is a Planetarium picks up right where your homemade eclipse viewer skills left off. You don't even need an empty Rice Krispies box or aluminum foil. Kelli Anderson's collection of functional doohickies are all...

Check it out

Spandex Black Cat Burglar Costume

Discontinued

What's better than an inked Felicia Hardy prancing around, getting limber on your pages of The Amazing Spider-Man as the Black Cat? A real live girl (or boy--we aim to please all orientations) prancing around, getting...

Buy Now

Arkham City Harley Quinn Costume

$23.42 from Amazon »

I wouldn't be a red-blooded American male if I didn't direct your attention to at least one sexy costume this Halloween. (Note to Ladies: My other qualities include strapping, sensitive, and available.) And since one...

Check it out

Pixel Panties

$27.50 from Pixel Panties »

When I saw these Pixel Panties I felt like I walked into a Super Mario Bros. mushroom. Drrring Drrring DRRRRRRING! From little Mario to big Mario in 1 second flat. In addition, the 8-bit underwear's Portuguese designers...

Check it out

Sucker Punch Babydoll Costume

Discontinued

I lost everyone I loved. And then they locked me away. With no where to hide from the pain. Until they came out with this hot costume. Is there anything better than a woman in uniform? Does anyone have any good Tomb Raider...