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Shut Up Tape

By: on October 22, 2012
Shut Up Tape
$12.38
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Termed "66 meters of absolute silence" the Shut Up Tape is made in France, apparently by people who speak English, and probably by people who have these types of antagonistic thoughts about Americans regularly. Which is sad because Americans are such a tolerant and peaceful lot who never have anything incendiary to say about the stuck up, deodorant-shunning French.

The problem with Shut Up Tape is that it's counterintuitive. Because "Shut up" is a command that the person applying the tape would presumably utter to the person to whose mouth it is being applied, after which point the taped mouth A) would no longer be able to see the message and B) would appear to be communicating the sentiment to others. Either nonsensically, ironically, or indignantly--as in, "Yeah, I know I look like an SOL asshole...shut up. Or I suppose in this gagged-and-bound context "Shut up" could also be construed as a past tense passive voice proclamation. As in, "I have been shut up, and now I sit silently with a wad of packing tape encircling my body."

Honestly, I have no idea what this tape might be legitimately useful for, I just think the photo of the skinny blond dude wrapped up in it is kind of funny, and it reminds me of a Quentin Tarantino movie.