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Flick Killjoy Candles

By: on June 24, 2014
$16.99
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Well, in all fairness, every single one of Flicking Candle Company's Flick Candles isn't a complete killjoy. I mean, sure, there's Cancelled Vacation, Defriend, Grandma's Last Christmas Tree, and Freshman 15 Pound Cake, but there are also a few jars of wick-filled wax that will burn joyous and uplifting scents. Blueberry Bromance. One Night Teak Wood Stand. Freshly Signed Divorce Papers....

Flick Candles are 100% US-made from 100% soy. They are guaranteed to burn odiferously and evenly, as well as leave behind a completely reusable jar. And in addition to their quality-conscious, eco-friendly product, the fledgling Flicking Candle Company also has something I often find lacking in other products' merchants, and human beings in general: a sense of humor. Even if you're not in the market for a candle, the Website of the self-proclaimed "only candle company in America brave enough to celebrate the fresh scent of failed marriages, ruined friendships, rejection, criminal activity, unprotected sex, and unexpected weight gain" is worth a browse just to read their candle scent descriptions. Some samples:

  • Defriend. "Nothing makes a bolder statement than getting defriended. Our candle captures that sweet smell of attempting to stalk someone's profile, only to find that you no longer have access to their pictures."
  • Freshman 15 Pound Cake. "The sweet smell of pound cake is expertly crafted in this candle to serve as a reminder that you can start working out at the Rec Center anytime you want--just not today."
  • Freshly Signed Divorce Papers. "Nothing captures the rich parchment of a legal document declaring an end to your failed marriage like our candle, Freshly Signed Divorce Papers. It's not like everyone around you didn't see this coming, and with the light from this candle now you can see it too."
  • Helen Keller's Key Lime Pie. "While non-blind people may be put off by the brownish-burnt color, we can assure you that this rich smelling candle is the assault of the senses that Helen Keller would have wanted."

Flick Killjoy Candles are a top Dude Novelty Gift pick.

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Wish Clips - Candle Holders for Drinks

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Flameless Arc Lighter for Candles & BBQs

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Like the slide, this flameless arc lighter is electric, so you can boogie-woogie-woogie through wind and rain, and without filling and refilling it with gas fluid. The long handle provides easier and safer access to hot...

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We've always known that out of the dragon's mouth comes the fire. Now, thanks to a particularly acid-washed, acid-tongued Mother, we also know it's possible that out of the fire's mouth come the dragons. So here's a candle...

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Edible Chocolate Candles are for when some little guy...or some little guy's Auntie She-Ra's boyfriend...gets a little too zealous about diving into the double chocolate with chocolate fudge and chocolate cookie crumbles...

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Man Can - Gun Powder Scented Candle

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Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift...