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Comfort-U Total Body Pillow

By: on October 10, 2013
$99.95
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Why is it that every photo I could find of this Comfort-U Total Body Pillow depicts a lady using it? Do men not want to experience the soothing, womb-like coziness of a giant stuffed parabola? Do we eschew the possibility of cradling ourselves in complete comfort from head to toe? Given my recent purchases of a dozen pairs of MyPakage underwear and a Darth Vader onesie, for myself the answer is no. If this body pillow fulfills its destiny of reducing back pain, enhancing sleep quality, and maintaining proper spinal alignment whether I'm on my side, on my back, sitting up, or clinging to it like the arms of a good woman, I think owning one will only solidify my masculinity. And, depending on who I imagine the pillow is instead of a pillow, possibly help it grow.

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Memory Foam Rug Pads

$59.99 - $316.54 from Amazon »

Clearly, the forces behind Rug Pad USA came up with the idea for a memory foam rug pad while jumping on the bed. Heyyyy, this cushion o' body-conforming comfort feels pretty good on my feet and toeses too....

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Solar-Powered Air Conditioned Bed

$388 - $776 from Aries »

The Solar AC Bed wants to make it a Bananarama cool (cool!) cool summer without draining your wallet or sucking excess power from the grid. This modular cot frame surrounds your existing bed and absorbs solar energy throughout...

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Celliant Sleep Boomerang Memory Foam Pillow

$99.99 from Amazon »

One time I threw a boomerang and it came back and sliced me in the neck. So I'm glad to see this Boomerang Memory Foam Pillow is here to cradle and support and eliminate pain from my neck, and maybe make some amends for...

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The Harambed

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in...

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Motiv Ring - Fitness Tracker & Sleep Tracker

$199 from Motiv »

Say "I do" to Motiv and the ring will be your loyal fitness tracker, sleep tracker, and heart rate monitor 'til death do you part. Day and night, at home or in the gym, even in the shower and pool. Even if you gain a...

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Zerobody Anti-Gravity Bed

The Zerobody is a sensory deprivation float tank that removes the one major P in the A side effect of floating: getting wet. (True, drowning is kind of a pain too, but most of these tanks have only about a foot of water...

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Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible (NSFW)

$24.98 from Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...

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Portable Armrest Extender & Divider

$25 from Amazon »

To put this armrest extender and divider on my airplane seat the next time I fly somewhere do I need the person next to me's permission? I mean, it's not like the Knee Defender, aiding in my comfort at the expense of...

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Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their...

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The Magic Weighted Blanket

$107.85 - $267.85 from Amazon »

The Magic Weighted Blanket uses a therapeutic approach similar to the Gravity Blanket we saw here last month, with a couple of key differences: 1) The Magic Weighted Blanket is made of baby-bunny-soft chenille and sold...

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King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

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Acid Trip Pillow

$29.03 from Amazon »

The actual name of this product is Moonlight Pillow. Really? Has the moon been eating Skittles? Did it swallow a gay pride parade? Because the moon I look at has certainly never gleamed the entire Roy G Biv rainbow. Except...