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Samurai Kitchen Knife Set

By: on August 05, 2013
$61.25
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Onion! You bastard! Raw atop my chalupa you give me the breath of a dragon-sized chihuahua that just puked up a can of tuna fish. Dicing is too good for the likes of you. Prepare to be hacked to bits with my Samurai sword cum kitchen knife! Whack! Slash! Chopchopchop! Haha, how does retribution feel...oh. Oh, ow. Owwwwww! It burns! In my eyes, it burns! Onion! You bastard!

Although a Samurai Kitchen Knife Set may not turn you into a real Samurai warrior, it will make for some fun kitchen role-playing games with onions, as well as other offending fruits and vegetables. The 4-piece set includes one each of a bread, chef's, utility, and paring knife, all covered in slick red scabbards and mountable on a (collapsible) wooden stand. Please be careful while using, as instructions for averting Whack! Slash! Chopchopchop!-ing your fingers and arms are not included.

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Jagdkommando Knife

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The Schrade SCHA5B M.A.G.I.C. folding knife listing neglects to explain its M.A.G.I.C. acronym, so at first I thought maybe it didn't stand for anything, that the caps and dots are just there for their imposing, visual...

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Origami Pocket Knife

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You won't be able to fold the Origami Pocket Knife into a crane, but you will be able to use Bre & Co.'s 440C stainless blade to slice out the perfect neck and wings from the crane you're struggling to make from origami...

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Belt Buckle Knife

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Well I just hope the sheaths in Bowen's blade-wielding belts are secure and hefty enough to preclude any potential slippage or puncturing in the vicinity of the most important part of my body. The last thing I need from...

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Jbett says their EDC Money Clip, with a fine edge blade hidden like a gooey chocolate center inside, "warrants picking up the tab every time just to show it off." Uh...what? I think if I wanted to make everyone jealous...

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M48 Cyclone Fixed Blade Knife

It's probably nowhere near the Jagdkommando knife in performance, but on the (very far) upshot, the M48 Cyclone fixed blade knife is also nowhere near the Jagdkommando in price....

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Throwing Card Knives

Discontinued

Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch....

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Magnetic Stove Shelf

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Slap down a Stove Shelf - no, really, just slap the magnetic rack down on the back of your stove, installation complete - and give yourself some instant extra storage without sucking up extra space in your kitchen....

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Split Decision Pie Pan

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A Split Decision Pie Pan is genius because pie is always a split decision in my house. She-Ra: Princess of Power invariably wants some Frankenstein abomination like Blueberry Lemon Cheddar Streusel, and I, true to good...