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Portal 2 Companion Cube Ice Tray

By: on July 24, 2013
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Companion Cubes. Companion Ice Cubes. A Captain Obvious merchandising exploit that kind of manages not to sacrifice coolness in spite of it. Even those unfamiliar with the Portal universe might gravitate towards this silicone tray that churns out nicely embellished cubes of ice, chocolate, frozen yogurt, or Jell-O shots. I wonder what kind of ridicule I'd get from GLaDOS for eating a blue raspberry Companion Cube Jell-O shot. How about "euthanizing" a couple dozen of them in the incinerator that is my stomach? If precedent proves accurate, I could do it, you Aperture Science overlord bitch.

The Portal 2 Companion Cube Ice Tray makes 10 pink-hearted drink chillers or geeky party treats.

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Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

$119 - $129 from Geizeer »

Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

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Igloo Party Bar Cooler with LiddUp Lighting

$154.37 from Amazon »

The Igloo Party Bar Cooler keeps the party lit up all night long courtesy of LiddUp technology. About 4 years ago, startup LiddUp sought crowdfunding for its own illuminated cooler. The campaign didn't quite hit its goal...

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The Frost Pipe - DIY a Pipe from Ice

$24.99 from Amazon »

This Frost Pipe isn't made of no corn cob, and it's not for kiddies building snowmen (or kiddies at all.) This Frost Pipe is a 3-piece freezer mold that lets you DIY your own pipe out of ice. What the Ice Luge is to drinkers...

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The Whiskey Wedge

$17.95 from Amazon »

One thing I can't stomach is getting piss drunk on piss warm whiskey. And though I do enjoy the array of giant cubes and fancy globes and Darth Vader-shaped ice molds now available for me to chill it with, their stubborn...

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Boobs Ice Luge

Sold Out from Amazon »

And you always thought she was an icy bitch because you couldn't get to second base. The Boob Luge puts a positive spin on the cold reality of interacting with women. Also, just like in the good ol' days of infancy, it...

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Keter Cool Bar - Outdoor Table & Cooler

$89.98 from Amazon »

I don't have a lot of space for outdoor furniture, so I like the double duty Keter's Cool Bar has agreed to pull for me. Part side table, part - surprise! - cooler, and it doesn't even look big and clunky, or like an...

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Portal GLaDOS Ring

Discontinued

Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating Systems now come in finger-sized. GLaDOS rings make it easy for all to show off their loyalty to the eye of Portal's most beloved piece of sociopathic artificial intelligence. Created...

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Herb & Lou's Cocktail-Infused Ice Cubes

$15.99 from Herb & Lou's »

Melted, not stirred. Herb & Lou's Infused Cubes arrive as 3 things waiting to happen: 1) 12 blocks of ice; 2) 12 rounds of tasty cocktails; and 3) 12 times the good times, since you won't have to play bartender all night....

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Portal: No Escape

A live action short (just under 6 minutes) from Dan Trachtenberg set in the world of the Portal video games. A woman wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or how she got there... Sounds like my Sunday morning....

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Gripforce Retractable Cleat Ice Boots

$299 from Gripforce »

Where were Gripforce's retractable spike boots when I was taking the banana peel challenge?! The Swedish-designed "Intelligent Winter Boot" intends to stamp out 2 widespread problems with cold weather footwear: 1) slipperiness;...

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Flexi Freeze Ice Vest

$99.99 from Amazon »

My ex-girlfriend Karen doesn't need a Flexi Freeze cooling vest because the ice in her heart is strong enough to chill her entire chest cavity, but if you do a lot of manual labor, have to wear a heavy costume, or are...

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AK47 Ice Cube Tray

$3.08 from Amazon »

I wonder what happens if you're choking on an ice cube? I think I would just calmly wait until it melted like a complete gangster. Though last week, I almost choked on my wad of 4 pieces of trident gum and went into hysterics...