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Kitchen

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Sunday, September 29, 2013
$56 - $112 from Edge of Belgravia »

It's cool how one color option for these ceramic knives is Zombie-Slaying Green, so I can pretend I'm hacking up the flesh and bones of the undead each time I try to slice an onion without crying like the doctor just slapped...

Wednesday, April 23, 2014
$21.95 from Amazon »

And I thought it couldn't get any better than R2-D2 measuring cups. Well, really, R2-D2 measuring cups are better than a Death Star cutting board, if for no other reason than their deconstruct/reconstruct Russian doll attributes...

Friday, May 30, 2014
$16.95 from Amazon »

Steak Saws? Now that's a little cynical, don't you think? Just because you've had to get the entirety of your body weight behind carving bites off of every steak your wife/girlfriend/mama has served to this point in life doesn't mean the next one won't be as tender and succulent as wagyu's finest. And even if it remains the same old inch-thick piece of leather it always has been, there's no need...

Sunday, July 28, 2013
$13.50 from Amazon »

Making dinner. Anymore it's either taxing, convoluted, frustrating, or comes straight from a box/can/Ramen pouch. Why, when you walk into the kitchen and lament, What the F*@# should I make for dinner?, can't there be an immediate...

Thursday, July 11, 2013
$9.29 - $19.99 from Amazon »

[Cue voice of James Earl Jones.] Rising menacingly from the depths of this cup of chamomile sleepytime tea with a squeeze of lemon...THE KRAKEN! Muahahahaha!...

Thursday, April 17, 2014
$13.99 from Amazon »

OXO says, "There's nothing as luscious as a ripe mango." OXO obviously has never seen Kate Upton's rack. Or Kelly Brook's. Or Christina Hendricks'. However, I do agree that mangoes are in the luscious family. The luscious yet incredibly hard to penetrate without making a big mess of things family. (So, yeah, still similar to the girls.) Peeling? No problem. But pitting without mango mangling, squashing...

Wednesday, April 3, 2013
$5.50 - $23 from Etsy »

Honey-spiced locusts from A Feast of Ice and Fire's Essos chapter may be a more authentic dessert to serve at your next Game of Thrones viewing party, but...ew. That sounds disgusting. Aren't locusts bugs? People from Essos...

Tuesday, April 2, 2013
$20 from black + blum »

Not only is a polar bear ice cube tray adorable and perfect for assuaging the injuries of children who hurt themselves doing something stupid that you told them not to, but the design itself is also highly utilitarian, solving...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
$40.98 - $45.63 from Shapeways »

The effects of the weekend call for a thick shot of Death Wish Coffee and a long drag of a Marlboro Light. It's almost like Solo e Sola knows that my Saturday night culminated in the crushing of a raw egg in my right hand*...

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$21.95 from Amazon »

People from Maine sure know how to make cooking fun. These earthenware Snot-a-Mug egg separators are made by northeast coast artisans to disassociate whites from yolks such that they whimsically mimic a gruesome bodily function....

Saturday, March 1, 2014
$101.44 from Amazon »

The Dump & Punch. That's a better name than Blend and Cook for Cuisinart's soup-making blender. Because if their literature is to be trusted, all I'd need do to enjoy a vat of steaming cream of tomato is dump in some cream...

Saturday, August 17, 2013
$46.91 from Amazon »

I almost started crying when I saw the Yonanas maker of healthy ice cream. It's what I imagine laying eyes upon my first child for the first time will feel like, except where the ice cream maker evokes awe and undiluted joy...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

I don't really need a V-shaped toaster and accompanying knife to facilitate PB&J assembly and consumption--my mama makes mine. Crunchy Peter Pan, seedless strawberry jam, two slices of pumpernickel (shut up, it's delicious)...

Monday, May 7, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Mmm, from dead fetus to sharp shooter. I'm going to take a shot at loading the Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold into the Rule of Thirds, as described by my 9th grade English teacher. He said that a third of the people we meet throughout...

Friday, November 23, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Now that we've got Thanksgiving out of the way, it's time to deck the halls, fire up the "Jingle Bells" sing-a-longs, celebrate Jesus, and eat cheese. Cheesus Christ, a cheese grater that--like many folks' Sunday rituals and...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012
By: Behance

The latest in shoebox living, Buse Ustun of Ankara, Turkey created VIA particularly for young adult couples cohabitating in tiny apartments with limited kitchen space. The compact, modular cooker incorporates all major kitchen...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$45 from Etsy »

From chemistry class I remember something about diatomic elements and noble gases, but mostly I remember that my teacher wore a tie-dyed lab coat and I could always see this one girl's lacy bras when she would bend over the...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
$199.95 from Amazon »

Breville says it will do for pizza lovers what cooking meth does for ailing chemistry teachers: bring home the dough. The Crispy Crust Stone Baked Pizza Maker aims to deliver brick oven pie quality without the bricks. Probably...

Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Lionel Richie is one of those weird celebrities like Demi Moore and Kate Winselt who kind of starts looking better as he gets older. See: Lionel Richie circa 1983. And: Lionel Richie now. His songs, of course, have always...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$24.89 from Amazon »

And maybe when I'm not making ravioli I can use this rolling pin on the knots in my back and my tightly wound IT band. The beechwood ravioli rolling pin delivers a strong sense of self-satisfaction to its rollers as it allows...

Thursday, March 6, 2014
$4.95 from Amazon »

I am the grandaddy master of the universe at separating eggs. If I do say so myself. I spent several hours learning how to perform this act of culinary prowess in 5th grade and...it's like riding a bike. I've never looked...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$14.50 from Amazon »

I wasn't that impressed with this Lekue microwave omelette maker until I watched the video. Now I am sufficiently impressed. Whomever filmed that thing should receive the informercial Oscar for cinematography. The omelette...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$212.01 from Amazon »

The potatoes spilling out of this ribbon fry cutter look delicious. For $100 I would eat them raw. I might also eat them raw if I were sure no one was watching. Easy to load, easy to retract and reload, I know once I start...

Wednesday, November 7, 2012
$3.99 - $19.99 from Cafe Press »

Zach Golden's cookbook What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner has spawned a culinary F-bomb phenomenon. Now the word "Fuck" is being inserted with reckless abandon into otherwise perfunctory statements about grocery runs...

Thursday, May 2, 2013
$159.55 from Amazon »

John Boos designed the corner cutting board/counter space saver from solid maple and recommends that you add it to your "kitchen arsenal". Please raise your hand if you have a kitchen arsenal. Please raise your hand if you...

Wednesday, October 30, 2013
$72.25 from Camper Van Gift »

Whether it's a tent, a bunk bed, or an actual motor vehicle...that can't go faster than 50...it seems the VW Camper Van has achieved an iconic status that will never wane. But what I want to know is, can the VW Camper Van...

Thursday, August 11, 2011
$143.49 from Amazon »

You can't stab your ex for real. Well, you can, and some do, but our jails are really getting crowded. So use this instead. It has the additional benefit of keeping your knife situation tidy. It also comes with 5 new weapons...

Friday, April 12, 2013
$37.52 from Amazon »

Domo started out as a Japanese television network mascot. Then he began starring in skits during station breaks. Then he got made into an English-language manga series for the US and Canada, and then he got made into a toaster....

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

LEGO Minifigure ice cubes and chocolates: cool. But how about LEGO Minifigure pads of butter? LEGO Minifigure Jell-O shots? LEGO Minifigure frozen Pedialyte for sick kiddos? The possibilities for transcending all previous...

Sunday, July 21, 2013
$19.94 from Amazon »

Point 1: Crafting traditional sushi rolls requires the finesse and fine motor skills of a surgeon. Point 2: Compact 3D squares of food look way cooler and more Willy Wonka magical than squat cylinders of it. Ergo: Bring on...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013
$16 from archer »

I'm not sure if a soap that smells of barrel-aged, charcoal-filtered whiskey will inspire me to do the dishes more often, but it will probably inspire me to to do that tie-dye lava milk experiment catalyzed by dish soap on...

Tuesday, January 8, 2013
$11.09 from Amazon »

True apple addicts don't have time to slough off the forbidden fruit's skin one strip at a time with a handheld peeler or their fingernails. And while other crank peelers technically get the job done expediently, their clunky...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Companion Cubes. Companion Ice Cubes. A Captain Obvious merchandising exploit that kind of manages not to sacrifice coolness in spite of it. Even those unfamiliar with the Portal universe might gravitate towards this silicone...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013
$4.99 from Amazon »

No jokes, no sarcasm, this snap-on can strainer is just a good idea, plan and simple. Do you know how sick I am of getting tuna juice all up in my cuticles when I squeeze out a can for lunch? A colander? Ha! The idea of schlepping...

Friday, March 8, 2013
$12.99 from Amazon »

This idea of hanging strips of pork candy on the Makin' Bacon microwave rack seems preferable to my grandma's method of pounding cooked pieces between an entire roll of paper towels. No speck of grease goes unabsorbed! She...

Monday, October 3, 2011
$15.95 from Amazon »

Cancer is still a problem, but some damn genius has finally solved the problem of spilling coffee all over the place all of the time. It seems like your arm would get tired having to constantly spin this thing around your...

Friday, January 3, 2014
$9.95 from Amazon »

A lemon shark is a real thing! It looks like this! Do you think it's called a lemon shark because it prefers lemons to human limbs or because it is particularly sour? Wikipedia says...wamp, wamp. Neither. It's just yellowish...

Friday, August 23, 2013
$14.48 from Amazon »

I'm not sure whose poor planning skills decided The Snacking Dead: A Parody in a Cookbook should be released after the October 13th Season 4 opener of The Walking Dead, thus eliminating all of its potential profits from themed...

Friday, March 16, 2012
By: Quirky

Like stackable soap, AutoStir self-stirring microwave dish is a rather elegant solution to an age-old perturbance--in this case, the uneven distribution of heat during nuking. How many times have you seared off a few layers...

Monday, June 3, 2013
By: Behance

One of the first things you learn at Carulla Cooking School in Bogota, Colombia is how to use a knife. That's after you learn one of the first things you learn in Bogota, Colombia, which is how to use a gun (and where to buy...

Saturday, February 22, 2014
$8.99 from Amazon »

It would be better if it were in the shape of the toast I'm going to pile it on, and I also doubt my ability to flip an egg within such tight confines without losing part of it to my burner, but I still appreciate the sentiment...

Thursday, August 9, 2012
Discontinued

A trio of Japanese knives by Tosa Kajiyamura for all the chefs and sharp object enthusiasts out there. Sold separately for $85 apiece, the three blades enjoy a rich history dating back to the early Edo period in 17th century...

Monday, July 22, 2013
$14.95 - $59.95 from CeramiPro »

The way it usually goes with knives is that they either cost a lot or they suck. (Note: both varieties seem to be equally capable of gashing through my finger such that I require stitches and a tetanus shot.) CeramiPro's Phantom...

Thursday, April 19, 2012
$30 from »

Ain't nothing like a dose of psychosocial commentary with the morning OJ. According to this dogmatic little glass, I can't always get what I want (obviously, or else the Stones would have stopped touring 20 years ago) but...

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$11.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Why do I need a cookie cutter with a bite taken out of it? I can do this myself. In fact, when I have cookies taking bites out of them is pretty much all I do. I like the shark though. Kids might dig this whole Snack Attack...

Monday, December 19, 2011
$3,500 from Chef Stack »

Now this is a pancake machine Henry Ford would appreciate. It's almost akin to something you'd see Homer lying down in front of with his mouth open wide as the Chef Stack Pancake Machine pumps endless pancakes into his mouth...

Thursday, January 31, 2013
$16.95 from Williams Sonoma »

Can I get one of those avocados along with the cuber? The ones I pick out always have a grisly tinge and surprise-mid-bite mushy brown spots. Or they're not ripe at all and taste like a bar of soap. Yeah, Mom, I know I used...

Tuesday, July 31, 2012
$37.95 from Amazon »

And when not using it to slash through pepperoni and mozzerella, you can also carry the Big Bad Pizza Wheel as a self-defense weapon, or dangle it from the ceiling to practice your most excellently dangerous one-handed rings...

Saturday, January 21, 2012
$21.95 from Home Wet Bar »

This self-aerator eliminates the need to decant or let your wine rest after corking it, and the included wine glass eliminates the need to chug it straight from the bottle. Pour your cellar's best burgundy or zin into the...

Saturday, May 4, 2013
$93 - $113 from Kickstarter »

Mmm, pirate pancakes. Booty to pad your booty. Yeah I know. That was lame. Cut me some slack, though. You don't know what I was up to last night. No. No it didn't involve Diablo III and a 24-pack of Duff Beer....

Friday, August 9, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Anyone who names all of their kids "George" obviously has one-track sensibilities and a one-note personality. He might be able to push Foreman Grills as a convenient tabletop producer of tasty sandwiches, but he could never...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$99 from Baking Steel »

The Modernist Cuisine Baking Steel, a heat-sucking slab of metal for home ovens, stovetops, and grills, deems itself virtually indestructible and swears it will never shatter or crack. Funny, because I guarantee the exact...

Friday, September 23, 2011
$86.92 from Amazon »

All black and 8.5 inches from tip to tang... once you use this black instrument, you'll never go back to another. My wife has been begging me for one of these. I'm hesitant to oblige her for many reasons......

Friday, February 3, 2012
$2,200 from Urban Cultivator »

No more excuses for not chewing, blending, juicing, or otherwise ingesting your greens. The Kitchen Cultivator is an all in one indoor home garden about the size--and four times the price--of the beer fridge every man would...

Thursday, December 6, 2012
$7.36 from Amazon »

Rum & Coke on the rocks? Yawn. You gotta HP-Lovecraft-mythical-sea-creature-things up every once in a while. Make it The Kraken Black Spiced Caribbean Rum & Coke on...more Kraken! Fred & Friends' Coolamari octopus ice cube...

Friday, September 2, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

Some damn genius figured out how to bring s'mores away from the campfire and into the kitchen. And there's no pre-heating? I hate pre-heating. Pre-heating is for suckers and proactivists (just made up a word!). In a related...

Tuesday, August 13, 2013
$35.99 from Amazon »

Get ready for ZERO!...GRAVITY!...SPICES! The cinnamon that used to consume 1 square inch in your cupboard? Now it hangs mightily in mid-air. The oregano? The thyme? The herbes de Provence? All haul out their death grip and...

Tuesday, May 28, 2013
$159.90 from Amazon »

Percolator is just an elitist way of saying thing that forces liquid into one end of a solid, such as coffee or tea, and out the other as a way of steeping it. But Bialetti probably felt it sounded more sophisticated and legit...

Sunday, October 9, 2011
Discontinued

I like my poison with coffee and cream. But, a pint of Guinness will do as well. And I think it's incredibly polite to notify me that I've been poisoned after, so I really appreciate the frankness the bottom of this pint glass...

Saturday, January 7, 2012
$30 from Amazon »

Do you eat, sleep, and breathe your favorite pro football team? Now you can graduate from the proverbial to the literal NFL fanatic with the Protoast Toaster. Its heating coils are fitted with your favorite team's emblem...

Thursday, December 29, 2011
$53.50 from Amazon »

To the dismay of chickens everywhere, we've been brow-beaten with the idea that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And, while that is certainly debatable, it's definitely in the top three. Unfortunately, it happens...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013
$20.75 from Amazon »

It's not that quesadillas are hard to make on the stovetop or in the oven, it's that one typically craves a quesadilla when one is not fit to operate the stovetop or the oven. With minimal risk of administering second degree...

Saturday, April 27, 2013
$9.99 from Amazon »

Chef'n decided one banana slicer more popular for its witty Amazon reviews than the function it serves wasn't enough for the world. Or maybe they were worried Hutzler's model was on the verge of becoming a monopoly. Or maybe...

Friday, October 4, 2013
$28.97 from Amazon »

Waffle egg sandwich with bacon and cheddar. Waffle ice cream sandwich with Brownie Heath Bar Crunch and Mint Chocolate Chip. Waffle projectile with wells full of mustard and Sriracha. So many possibilities now possible with...

Saturday, September 14, 2013
$7.99 - $14.95 from Bit@h Cooks »

I could never match skills, and for once am not even going to try to match wits, with Jason Bailin. Bailin is a man who endeavors to transplant other men from Chinese takeout vestibules to the kitchen by way of tough love...

Saturday, May 12, 2012
$10.38 from Amazon »

Darth Vader ice cubes make the season's light saber red hues of Kool-Aid and Jones Soda all kinds of cool. Even better, the helmet molds are also approved for melted chocolate, hard candy, and gelatin, so a veritable fleet...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

A set of Gandalf vs. Saruman salt & pepper shakers solidifies it: salt is evil, pepper is good. Makes sense. Salt can curse us with high blood pressure resulting in an increased risk of heart disease and stroke. The worst...

Thursday, January 12, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Part mercenary weapon, part magnetic field holder for your grocery list, these high quality magnets will hold up to a sheets of paper firmly against your refrigerator or any other metallic surface. Most crappy fridge magnets...