Kitchen

Slice a Recipe Cookbook to Improve Knife Skills

One of the first things you learn at Carulla Cooking School in Bogota, Colombia is how to use a knife. That's after you learn one of the first things you learn in Bogota, Colombia, which is how to use a gun (and where...

Cast Iron Pirate Pancake Griddle

$93 - $113 from Kickstarter »

Mmm, pirate pancakes. Booty to pad your booty. Yeah I know. That was lame. Cut me some slack, though. You don't know what I was up to last night. No. No it didn't involve Diablo III and a 24-pack of Duff Beer....

The Big Bad Pizza Wheel

$32.82 from Amazon »

And when not using it to slash through pepperoni and mozzerella, you can also carry the Big Bad Pizza Wheel as a self-defense weapon, or dangle it from the ceiling to practice your most excellently dangerous one-handed...

The Indoor Home Garden

$2,200 from Urban Cultivator »

No more excuses for not chewing, blending, juicing, or otherwise ingesting your greens. The Kitchen Cultivator is an all in one indoor home garden about the size--and four times the price--of the beer fridge every man...

CeramiPro Phantom Black Knives

$14.95 - $59.95 from CeramiPro »

The way it usually goes with knives is that they either cost a lot or they suck. (Note: both varieties seem to be equally capable of gashing through my finger such that I require stitches and a tetanus shot.) CeramiPro's...

Lemon Shark Juicer

$10.37 from Amazon »

A lemon shark is a real thing! It looks like this! Do you think it's called a lemon shark because it prefers lemons to human limbs or because it is particularly sour? Wikipedia says...wamp, wamp. Neither. It's just yellowish...

Old Fashioned S'Mores Maker

Sold Out from Amazon »

Some damn genius figured out how to bring s'mores away from the campfire and into the kitchen. And there's no pre-heating? I hate pre-heating. Pre-heating is for suckers and proactivists (just made up a word!). In a related...

You Have Just Been Poisoned Pint Glass

Discontinued

I like my poison with coffee and cream. But, a pint of Guinness will do as well. And I think it's incredibly polite to notify me that I've been poisoned after, so I really appreciate the frankness the bottom of this pint...

Bialetti Stovetop Percolator

$56 from Amazon »

Percolator is just an elitist way of saying thing that forces liquid into one end of a solid, such as coffee or tea, and out the other as a way of steeping it. But Bialetti probably felt it sounded more sophisticated...

NFL Branded Toast

$30 from Amazon »

Do you eat, sleep, and breathe your favorite pro football team? Now you can graduate from the proverbial to the literal NFL fanatic with the Protoast Toaster. Its heating coils are fitted with your favorite team's emblem...

Coolamari Octopus Ice Cube Tray

$5.77 from Amazon »

Rum & Coke on the rocks? Yawn. You gotta HP-Lovecraft-mythical-sea-creature-things up every once in a while. Make it The Kraken Black Spiced Caribbean Rum & Coke on...more Kraken! Fred & Friends' Coolamari octopus ice...

5-in-1 Griddler

$99.95 from Amazon »

Anyone who names all of their kids "George" obviously has one-track sensibilities and a one-note personality. He might be able to push Foreman Grills as a convenient tabletop producer of tasty sandwiches, but he could...

One-Egg Fry Pan

$8.99 from Amazon »

It would be better if it were in the shape of the toast I'm going to pile it on, and I also doubt my ability to flip an egg within such tight confines without losing part of it to my burner, but I still appreciate the...

Darth Vader Ice Cube Tray

$8.27 from Amazon »

Darth Vader ice cubes make the season's light saber red hues of Kool-Aid and Jones Soda all kinds of cool. Even better, the helmet molds are also approved for melted chocolate, hard candy, and gelatin, so a veritable...

Ninja Throwing Star Magnets

Sold Out from Amazon »

Part mercenary weapon, part magnetic field holder for your grocery list, these high quality magnets will hold up to a sheets of paper firmly against your refrigerator or any other metallic surface. Most crappy fridge...

Modernist Cuisine Baking Steel

$99 from Baking Steel »

The Modernist Cuisine Baking Steel, a heat-sucking slab of metal for home ovens, stovetops, and grills, deems itself virtually indestructible and swears it will never shatter or crack. Funny, because I guarantee the exact...

Electric Quesadilla Maker

$18.99 from Amazon »

It's not that quesadillas are hard to make on the stovetop or in the oven, it's that one typically craves a quesadilla when one is not fit to operate the stovetop or the oven. With minimal risk of administering second...

Bananza Banana Slicer

$8.36 from Amazon »

Chef'n decided one banana slicer more popular for its witty Amazon reviews than the function it serves wasn't enough for the world. Or maybe they were worried Hutzler's model was on the verge of becoming a monopoly. Or...

Cliff Hanger Mug

The Cliff Hanger Mug replaces traditional coffee mug handles with the synthetic boulders rock climbers use for indoor honing of finger strength. Not to state the obvious, but, that's funny. And apropos. Because coffee...

Zero Gravity Magnetic Spice Rack

$38.99 from Amazon »

Get ready for ZERO!...GRAVITY!...SPICES! The cinnamon that used to consume 1 square inch in your cupboard? Now it hangs mightily in mid-air. The oregano? The thyme? The herbes de Provence? All haul out their death grip...

Perfect Pancake Pan

$11.09 from Amazon »

I don't know if the Perfect Pancake Pan really cooks perfect pancakes as advertised, but if it does I would like to eat 8 of its delectably fluffy jack-flappers right now. Sumbitches look gooood....

Silver Dollar Waffle Griddle

$28.80 from Amazon »

Waffle egg sandwich with bacon and cheddar. Waffle ice cream sandwich with Brownie Heath Bar Crunch and Mint Chocolate Chip. Waffle projectile with wells full of mustard and Sriracha. So many possibilities now possible...

Gandalf vs. Saruman Salt & Pepper Shakers

$17.99 from Amazon »

A set of Gandalf vs. Saruman salt & pepper shakers solidifies it: salt is evil, pepper is good. Makes sense. Salt can curse us with high blood pressure resulting in an increased risk of heart disease and stroke. The worst...

Marvel Superhero Brownie Pan

Discontinued

I don't know shit about baking, but I know plenty about eating. And these are gonna taste better than your average cupcake or brownie. And if they don't you can smash them into each other and see which one is the toughest....

Kuro Cube - Charcoal Fridge Deodorizer

$25 from GNR 8 »

Although my refrigerator is only one in a long and distinguished list of areas around my house that reek, tackling the remnant scents of curdled milk and decomposed lettuce with a Kuro Cube is probably a decent place...

Snack Attack Cookie Cutters

$11.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Why do I need a cookie cutter with a bite taken out of it? I can do this myself. In fact, when I have cookies taking bites out of them is pretty much all I do. I like the shark though. Kids might dig this whole Snack...

Tea & A Set

$575 from Supermarket »

In the grand tradition of the Boob Scarf and Boobs Ice Luge, we present: boobs. And following in the footsteps of the Female Form Guitar and Peanut Butter & Jelly Wallet: butts. The 6-piece Tea & A Set redefines the concept...

Condiment Gun

$13.51 from Amazon »

Shoot up your hamburger in style with this condiment filled side-arm. I have a feeling if a family owns two of these, the mom (or dad if the family is really weird) is going to have a lot of cleanup to do after lunch....

Get in the Kitchen Bit@hes Cookbooks & Rubs

$7.99 - $14.95 from Bit@h Cooks »

I could never match skills, and for once am not even going to try to match wits, with Jason Bailin. Bailin is a man who endeavors to transplant other men from Chinese takeout vestibules to the kitchen by way of tough...

Perfect Pieces Lasagna Pan

$49.95 from Amazon »

Food snobs, stoners, children never lucky enough to have parents who took them to the Olive Garden, meet the Perfect Pieces Lasagna Pan. From the Baker's Edge folks' noodles, to the Barilla boxes of yours, comes a quadra-channeled...

Skull Egg & Pancake Molder

$7.04 from Amazon »

The universal sign for poison, now in a handy mold for making things that presumably are not! Well, maybe teaching children to associate pancakes and eggs in the shape of skulls with poison will help combat the growing...

Star Wars Cookie Cutters

$19.95 from Williams Sonoma »

Luke (inhale, exhale) I am a cookie. Simple way to turn your stupid, boring, crappy cookies into something out of this galaxy. God I love cookies. If you don't like cookies, try the pancakes....

Empanada Maker

Sold Out from Amazon »

One time I went to Chile and while others gaped at the glaciers of Patagonia and marveled at the volcanos of the Lake District, I ate empanadas. While they trekked the rolling green hills of fourth-generation farms and...

Meat Shredders

$14.95 from Williams Sonoma »

Nevermind the meat shredders in the photos, I think I'd pay $14.95 just for a bite of that meat. What is it, pulled pork? Yeah, it's gotta be pork. Nothing but a pig could look so succulent in shredded form. Excuse me...

Crispy Crust Pizza Maker

$149.95 from Williams Sonoma »

Williams Sonoma predicts Breville's compact countertop crispy crust pizza maker will change my life. Now, far be it from me to argue with the world's #1 kitchen store magnate about life-altering experiences, but given...

Five Finger Fillet Knife Set

Sold Out from Amazon »

Admittedly, the Five Finger Fillet Knife Set will consume a chunk of kitchen countertop space. 10.4" x 11" x 10.4" to be exact. But I think its radness in appearance more than compensates for its shortcomings in spatial...

Handblown Glass Fish Straws

Monkey see, monkey do--if you drink like a fish, your kids will too! So put away that bottle of Tanqueray, stow the Whisky Advent Calendar 'til after hours, and grab a couple of these Handblown Fish Straws to sip, suck...

The Floating Mug

One biting comment I could make about Tigere Chiriga's Floating Mug is...hmmm...donut hole. I got nothin'. It's just a simple, yet truly novel design, whose purpose is as terrifically useful as its look is incredibly...

Russian Roulette Pizza Plate

A gun loaded with carbs, cheese, and marinara. Are you brave enough to slice it and pull it? The loser of Pizza Plate Russian Roulette is designated dish bitch. Or gets sent on a beer run. Or has to buy the Santa Claus...

Voodoo Gingerbread Men Cutters

$7.79 from Amazon »

The holidays. They encourage us to appreciate and reminisce about those we love. Yet somehow, they also provoke us to fixate on those we hate. Fred & Friends examined this 'tis the season, yin-yang dynamic...and saw dollar...

Throwzini 6-Piece Knife Set with Block

Sold Out from Amazon »

Citizens first met the Wheel of Death when the spinning, human-laced target debuted in 1938, and 75 years later, it still represents an exhilarating feat of precision and certainty whose use is likely to get at least...

The Original Slush Mug

$13.97 from Amazon »

Long before Generation Z began itching to replicate 120-ounce 7-Eleven Slurpees in flavors like Razzzmatazzz and Electrocuted Tree Frog at home, Generation X itched to replicate carnie and peewee sport concession stand...

Digital Measuring Cup Scale

$16 from Amazon »

Foodies, space conservationists, and those who don't have rad to the max mamas to cook all of your meals for you and deliver them weekly in Tupperware containers with clear content labels and smiley faces and notes about...

Hopside Down Beer Glass

$12.94 from Amazon »

I like to keep my beer almost slushy it's so cold. And I never disrespect wood. These double wall glasses are the perfect solution. They help insulate your drink from your fat, hot, grubby little hands while keeping your...

Knife Refrigerator Magnet

$19.95 from Amazon »

Those nights of binge eating and the haunting lure of a fridge filled with simple carbs and trans fats? Send them to their metaphorical death. Die leftover deep dish pizza! See how you like it in your gut, cookie dough...

Belgian Waffle & Omelet Maker

$114.09 from Amazon »

This gift from the heavens cooks a Belgian waffle and an omelet simultaneously. Concurrently. At the same fucking time. Do I even need to say triple-decker waffle omelet sandwich? Do I need to say anything else at all?...

Retro Series Hot Dog Roller

$49.99 from Amazon »

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union...okay, enough preamble. It's America's DOB. The big...what's 2013 minus 1776? The big 237. That age when countries really start to notice their...

Juicy Salif Citrus Squeezer

$49 - $100 from Amazon »

Oh holy arachnid! I'm not going to need a set of Samurai sword kitchen knives to exact retribution on that SOB onion, I'm going to need them to save myself from the Alessi Juicy Salif citrus-squeezing alien! And by "citrus-squeezing"...

The Original Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine

$22.88 from Amazon »

There are a few items from my childhood I've been trying to hunt down for a while. A slush puppy machine (not slurpee, slurpees suck), an armitron, Debbie Does Dallas VHS tape and this. I'm gonna get a brain freeze....

Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters

$8.09 from Amazon »

The Gingerbread Man always acted like such a wuss. Enter The Ninjabread Man. I think he could slide right into all of our favorite Christmas stories and nobody would bat an eyelash. Please use black icing. Stars sold...

Crustache Crust Cutter

$7.11 from Amazon »

Ahhh, here's one for the kids, the kids at heart, and the practicing hipsters. The Crustache Cutter performs a little snip-snip on bread that's boringly shaped like bread to produce hilarious/clever/ironic (depending...

Digital Spoon Scale

Sold Out from Amazon »

This digital spoon scale enables measurement by weight as well as measurement by volume. That means in addition to knowing from a caloric standpoint how many pounds I'll gain over time when I transport tablespoonfuls...

Phone App Fridge Magnets

$4.90 from Amazon »

I tried to stick a magnet to my fridge the other day and it just slid down the face of the fridge door and fell limply to the ground. I wonder what my fridge is made out of. I'm also confused as to what metals are actually...

Disappearing TARDIS Mug

$11.58 from Amazon »

Yo, TARDIS, I need to run a quick errand in 2343 today. Let me just pour a cup of coffee and...TARDIS? TARDIS, dude, where you at? [The TARDIS, having been exposed to a hot beverage, has disappeared from its current location...

Shark Attack Mug

$8.84 from Amazon »

The first few sips from this innocent looking porcelain mug are pretty tame, but as you continue drinking things get a lot more exciting. What's that lurking in the murky depths of your morning coffee? It's a damn shark....

Star Wars Stormtrooper Mug

Sold Out from Etsy »

I would describe this Storm Trooper mug as geeky with a side of class. Meaning that I probably wouldn't purchase it for someone who isn't into Star Wars, but I wouldn't feel bad about purchasing it for someone who is...

Brass Knuckle Meat Pounder

Sold Out from Amazon »

I'll skirt the obvious meat pounder jokes here. I do see a pretty nifty dual purpose tool though. I've never tenderized meat before cooking it, but this looks like it might make the job sort of fun. And, if someone breaks...

Lickety Spoon

$6.95 from Amazon »

How many kids are going to ram the Lickety Spoon down their throats trying to mock-tongue something with it? Even if we're playing by Price Is Right rules, I think you can safely bet "All of them," and still be the closest...

Toilet Bowl Coffee Mug

$8.27 from Amazon »

Previously reserved for the likes of your dog, your cat, your children and you after 10 shots of whatever the cool person shot currently is, now, you can enjoy your favorite wake-me-up drink from the rims of your own...

PowerChef Tabletop Grill

Sold Out from Amazon »

This electric grill sits on the tabletop. Which means it is going to reduce the amount of time it takes for babyback ribs brushed with KC Masterpiece and teriyaki shrimp kebabs to transfer from its cooking surface to...

Rubik's Cube Mug

$18.59 from Amazon »

The perfect gift for the coffee drinking puzzle solver. In 2nd grade, I used to physically take apart rubik's cubes and put them back together all perfect looking. My teacher thought I was a genius. And really, isn't...

Banana Slicer

$5.97 from Amazon »

Slicing a banana has just become 20x easier. What? Slicing a banana wasn't difficult in the first place? Neither is folding my clothes, but I haven't done that in 3 months. Mankind is in constant search of ways to improve...

The Double Dish

$20 from Amazon »

Sweet! Somewhere to hide all the crap you wish you hadn't taken a bite out of and need to spit out! The Double Dish, a bowl within a bowl, is the perfect receptacle for gristly beef, bivalves gone bad, and entire servings...

Pancake Plates

I can't think of anything bad to say about this product. It's not particularly inspired (it's just a plate with an extra level for syrup to pool into) but it does exactly what it is supposed to do. And it's certainly...

Handgun Ice Cube Tray

$3.39 from Amazon »

For the first time ever, if someone offered me a shot of ice or a shot of Jager, I might actually choose the former. This set of 6 handgun-shaped molds packs a cache of ice cold heat that screams, "Freeze, bitches!"before...

Tap Your Fruit Juice Sprayer

By: Quirky »

This ingenious concept product is getting ready to go into production. The juice is so much tastier when it comes directly from the tap. Stick the "stem" right into your favorite sprayable citrus fruit (lemons, limes......