Kitchen

Polar Bear Ice Tray

$20 from black + blum »

Not only is a polar bear ice cube tray adorable and perfect for assuaging the injuries of children who hurt themselves doing something stupid that you told them not to, but the design itself is also highly utilitarian...

Makin Bacon Microwave Rack

$12.99 from Amazon »

This idea of hanging strips of pork candy on the Makin' Bacon microwave rack seems preferable to my grandma's method of pounding cooked pieces between an entire roll of paper towels. No speck of grease goes unabsorbed!...

Breakfast Sandwich Maestro

$27.95 from Amazon »

5 minutes to a breakfast sandwich. No drive-thru on earth can beat that...mainly because of the whole leaving the house and driving to the drive-thru portion of the equation. Otherwise I guess most of them could. If there...

V Toaster & Knife

I don't really need a V-shaped toaster and accompanying knife to facilitate PB&J assembly and consumption--my mama makes mine. Crunchy Peter Pan, seedless strawberry jam, two slices of pumpernickel (shut up, it's delicious)...

Star Wars Stormtrooper Mug

Sold Out from Etsy »

I would describe this Storm Trooper mug as geeky with a side of class. Meaning that I probably wouldn't purchase it for someone who isn't into Star Wars, but I wouldn't feel bad about purchasing it for someone who is...

Avocado Cuber

$16.95 from Williams Sonoma »

Can I get one of those avocados along with the cuber? The ones I pick out always have a grisly tinge and surprise-mid-bite mushy brown spots. Or they're not ripe at all and taste like a bar of soap. Yeah, Mom, I know...

LEGO Men Ice Cube Tray

Sold Out from Amazon »

LEGO Minifigure ice cubes and chocolates: cool. But how about LEGO Minifigure pads of butter? LEGO Minifigure Jell-O shots? LEGO Minifigure frozen Pedialyte for sick kiddos? The possibilities for transcending all previous...

Lionel Richie Crooning Spoon Rest

$15 from Etsy »

Lionel Richie is one of those weird celebrities like Demi Moore and Kate Winselt who kind of starts looking better as he gets older. See: Lionel Richie circa 1983. And: Lionel Richie now. His songs, of course, have always...

The Appleholic's Apple Peeler

$9.81 from Amazon »

True apple addicts don't have time to slough off the forbidden fruit's skin one strip at a time with a handheld peeler or their fingernails. And while other crank peelers technically get the job done expediently, their...

Dripping Napkin Holder

$34.99 from Animi Causa »

I think it's supposed to be simulating dripping paint, but on this Eve of the Apocalypse, I wouldn't be surprised if Animi Causa's powder coated metal napkin holder actually started dripping blood. That's definitely what...

Coffee & a Smoke Cup

$40.98 - $45.63 from Shapeways »

The effects of the weekend call for a thick shot of Death Wish Coffee and a long drag of a Marlboro Light. It's almost like Solo e Sola knows that my Saturday night culminated in the crushing of a raw egg in my right...

Fondue Mugs

Sold Out from Amazon »

Forget dipping bread and fruit, I'm just going to melt and drink entire cups of Velveeta and Bacon Chocolate Bars with my Fondue Mug set. Geez, this is handy. Melting that stuff in the microwave makes it all lumpy and...

Digital Measuring Cup Scale

$20.59 from Amazon »

Foodies, space conservationists, and those who don't have rad to the max mamas to cook all of your meals for you and deliver them weekly in Tupperware containers with clear content labels and smiley faces and notes about...

Coolamari Octopus Ice Cube Tray

$5.80 from Amazon »

Rum & Coke on the rocks? Yawn. You gotta HP-Lovecraft-mythical-sea-creature-things up every once in a while. Make it The Kraken Black Spiced Caribbean Rum & Coke on...more Kraken! Fred & Friends' Coolamari octopus ice...

Voodoo Gingerbread Men Cutters

$8.01 from Amazon »

The holidays. They encourage us to appreciate and reminisce about those we love. Yet somehow, they also provoke us to fixate on those we hate. Fred & Friends examined this 'tis the season, yin-yang dynamic...and saw dollar...

Cheesus Christ Cheese Grater

$20.55 from Amazon »

Now that we've got Thanksgiving out of the way, it's time to deck the halls, fire up the "Jingle Bells" sing-a-longs, celebrate Jesus, and eat cheese. Cheesus Christ, a cheese grater that--like many folks' Sunday rituals...

Handblown Glass Fish Straws

Monkey see, monkey do--if you drink like a fish, your kids will too! So put away that bottle of Tanqueray, stow the Whisky Advent Calendar 'til after hours, and grab a couple of these Handblown Fish Straws to sip, suck...

Fighting Man Frying Pan

$45 - $250 from Morlock Enterprises »

Even if your kitchen crusades consist of little more than scrambling eggs or, like my dad, changing other men's lives by showing them how to use a skillet to reheat day-old pizza to its just-delivered splendor, the...

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F-Bomb Housewares

$3.99 - $19.99 from Cafe Press »

Zach Golden's cookbook What the F*@# Should I Make for Dinner has spawned a culinary F-bomb phenomenon. Now the word "Fuck" is being inserted with reckless abandon into otherwise perfunctory statements about grocery runs...

VIA All-in-One Cooker

The latest in shoebox living, Buse Ustun of Ankara, Turkey created VIA particularly for young adult couples cohabitating in tiny apartments with limited kitchen space. The compact, modular cooker incorporates all major...

Ray Gun Rocket Mug

$9.52 from Amazon »

Cataclysmic events, such as earthquakes and alien attacks, always seem to go down when I'm relaxing with the morning paper, drinking a cup of coffee. So being the industrial, perpetually prepared fellow that I am, I have...

Likers Gonna Like Mug

Sold Out from Etsy »

Positivity. That's what we need more of. Forget the haters. And forget that no one really gives a shit what you like on Facebook. Because Likers gonna Like, yo. And also probably drink coffee out of a clever or ironic...

Camera Lens Kitchen Timer

$14 from Photo Jojo »

Thanks to foodies and the blogging world, cameras and cuisine have pretty much become inextricably bound. Photojojo, ever the purveyor of the photography's most clever, kitschy, and surprisingly useful accessories (check...

Deglon Meeting Knife Set

$957.62 from Amazon »

Although Deglon is a French company, Meeting Knife Set just doesn't do this 4-count of nested slice-and-dicers the same justice of linguistic imagery Russian Doll Knife Set, or Venn Diagram Knife Set would. Not that I...

3D Printed Teeth Cup

Discontinued

Many of us find great comfort and normalcy in our morning cups of coffee or tea. Artist Lily S would like to add some uneasiness to that equation. A mouthful, to be exact. Her Teeth Cup, molded from a full set of human...

Tosa Kajiyamura Knives

Discontinued

A trio of Japanese knives by Tosa Kajiyamura for all the chefs and sharp object enthusiasts out there. Sold separately for $85 apiece, the three blades enjoy a rich history dating back to the early Edo period in 17th...

The Big Bad Pizza Wheel

$33.03 from Amazon »

And when not using it to slash through pepperoni and mozzerella, you can also carry the Big Bad Pizza Wheel as a self-defense weapon, or dangle it from the ceiling to practice your most excellently dangerous one-handed...

Sushi Bazooka

$25.40 from Strapya World »

On the eve of the Zombie/Mayan/Raining Fires of Hell Apocalypse, Strapya World suggests humans band together, hunker down...and kick off the end of days with a sushi revolution! Men, women, children with developed fine...

NomSkulls Cupcake Mold

$10.39 from Amazon »

Philosophical question: If fresh brain is brimming from a skull that's been long dead, will a zombie still eat it? How about if it's made with all-organic ingredients, such as unbleached flour and free range eggs? NomSkulls...

Five Finger Fillet Knife Set

Sold Out from Amazon »

Admittedly, the Five Finger Fillet Knife Set will consume a chunk of kitchen countertop space. 10.4" x 11" x 10.4" to be exact. But I think its radness in appearance more than compensates for its shortcomings in spatial...

Disappearing TARDIS Mug

$11.58 from Amazon »

Yo, TARDIS, I need to run a quick errand in 2343 today. Let me just pour a cup of coffee and...TARDIS? TARDIS, dude, where you at? [The TARDIS, having been exposed to a hot beverage, has disappeared from its current location...

The Floating Mug

One biting comment I could make about Tigere Chiriga's Floating Mug is...hmmm...donut hole. I got nothin'. It's just a simple, yet truly novel design, whose purpose is as terrifically useful as its look is incredibly...

Skull Egg & Pancake Molder

$5.19 from Amazon »

The universal sign for poison, now in a handy mold for making things that presumably are not! Well, maybe teaching children to associate pancakes and eggs in the shape of skulls with poison will help combat the growing...

Handgun Ice Cube Tray

$5.39 from Amazon »

For the first time ever, if someone offered me a shot of ice or a shot of Jager, I might actually choose the former. This set of 6 handgun-shaped molds packs a cache of ice cold heat that screams, "Freeze, bitches!"before...

Cliff Hanger Mug

The Cliff Hanger Mug replaces traditional coffee mug handles with the synthetic boulders rock climbers use for indoor honing of finger strength. Not to state the obvious, but, that's funny. And apropos. Because coffee...

Tea & A Set

$575 from Supermarket »

In the grand tradition of the Boob Scarf and Boobs Ice Luge, we present: boobs. And following in the footsteps of the Female Form Guitar and Peanut Butter & Jelly Wallet: butts. The 6-piece Tea & A Set redefines the concept...

Hookers' Delight Martini Glass

Father's Day 2012 is hitting families nationwide on June 17th. Which begs the question: Do you have that very special kind of Renaissance father who can schmooze with James Bond, thrown down with the wranglers on River...

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Lock

$6.64 from Ben & Jerry »

Three things. One: I subscribe to the unwavering dogma that ice cream is mankind's greatest culinary invention. Two: I don't share food. Three: Avengers and iProducts be damned. Ben & Jerry's pint lock is the most anticipated...

Darth Vader Ice Cube Tray

$7.77 from Amazon »

Darth Vader ice cubes make the season's light saber red hues of Kool-Aid and Jones Soda all kinds of cool. Even better, the helmet molds are also approved for melted chocolate, hard candy, and gelatin, so a veritable...

Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold

$7.59 from Amazon »

Mmm, from dead fetus to sharp shooter. I'm going to take a shot at loading the Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold into the Rule of Thirds, as described by my 9th grade English teacher. He said that a third of the people we meet...

Want vs. Need Glass

$30 from »

Ain't nothing like a dose of psychosocial commentary with the morning OJ. According to this dogmatic little glass, I can't always get what I want (obviously, or else the Stones would have stopped touring 20 years ago)...

Fridge Skins

$70 from Kudu Magnets »

Dressing up kids and pets is so passe. The new canvases of self-expression are appliances. And the most decadent of appliance haute couture is Kudu's magnetic fridge skins--panels that adhere to refrigerators' full facades...

Russian Roulette Pizza Plate

A gun loaded with carbs, cheese, and marinara. Are you brave enough to slice it and pull it? The loser of Pizza Plate Russian Roulette is designated dish bitch. Or gets sent on a beer run. Or has to buy the Santa Claus...

Crustache Crust Cutter

$7.11 from Amazon »

Ahhh, here's one for the kids, the kids at heart, and the practicing hipsters. The Crustache Cutter performs a little snip-snip on bread that's boringly shaped like bread to produce hilarious/clever/ironic (depending...

Self-Stirring Microwave Bowl

By: Quirky »

Like stackable soap, AutoStir self-stirring microwave dish is a rather elegant solution to an age-old perturbance--in this case, the uneven distribution of heat during nuking. How many times have you seared off a few...

Doomed Skull Shot Glass

$5.20 from Amazon »

Adopting its name from Mayan lore, the Doomed Skull Shot Glass is here to help you ring in the apocalypse. It won't ward off zombies or cataclysmic solar flares or anthrax-laced rain drops, but it will get you so wasted...

Fro & Hawk Dish Brushes

$14.50 from Donkey »

Ahhh, the Afro and the Mohawk. Two iconic hairstyles that require mega elbow grease to create now pay it forward by elbow greasin' it out with you at the kitchen sink. Brother Fro and Punk Hawk help get rid of dried egg...

The Double Dish

$19.71 from Amazon »

Sweet! Somewhere to hide all the crap you wish you hadn't taken a bite out of and need to spit out! The Double Dish, a bowl within a bowl, is the perfect receptacle for gristly beef, bivalves gone bad, and entire servings...

Tactical Beer Mug

$224.99 - $249.99 from Optics Planet »

According to the cats in the OPMOD Battle Mug video, you can do everything with this souped up, military-spec, solid aluminum beer stein that you can do with your AR. Deck it out with a scope, laser sight, holo sight...

Lickety Spoon

$5.95 from Amazon »

How many kids are going to ram the Lickety Spoon down their throats trying to mock-tongue something with it? Even if we're playing by Price Is Right rules, I think you can safely bet "All of them," and still be the closest...

Perfect Pieces Lasagna Pan

$49.95 from Amazon »

Food snobs, stoners, children never lucky enough to have parents who took them to the Olive Garden, meet the Perfect Pieces Lasagna Pan. From the Baker's Edge folks' noodles, to the Barilla boxes of yours, comes a quadra-channeled...

Handheld Espresso Maker

Sold Out from Amazon »

Caffeine injections and enemas are great on the go and all, but sometimes it's that fresh-roasted aroma, and hot liquid nuttiness that really give us the stamina to keep the hamster wheel spinning. The mypressi TWIST...

The Indoor Home Garden

$2,200 from Urban Cultivator »

No more excuses for not chewing, blending, juicing, or otherwise ingesting your greens. The Kitchen Cultivator is an all in one indoor home garden about the size--and four times the price--of the beer fridge every man...

Aerating Wine Glass

$21.95 from Home Wet Bar »

This self-aerator eliminates the need to decant or let your wine rest after corking it, and the included wine glass eliminates the need to chug it straight from the bottle. Pour your cellar's best burgundy or zin into...

Ninja Throwing Star Magnets

Sold Out from Amazon »

Part mercenary weapon, part magnetic field holder for your grocery list, these high quality magnets will hold up to a sheets of paper firmly against your refrigerator or any other metallic surface. Most crappy fridge...

NFL Branded Toast

$30 from Amazon »

Do you eat, sleep, and breathe your favorite pro football team? Now you can graduate from the proverbial to the literal NFL fanatic with the Protoast Toaster. Its heating coils are fitted with your favorite team's emblem...

Stop Stuffing Your Face Dishes

$14.95 from Fishs Eddy »

Since weight loss is 80% diet, we tend to rely on the voices inside our heads to convince us to reel in the Doritos-crusted mac 'n' cheese and bacon chocolate chip ice cream consumption. Well, it seems those voices have...

The Hillary Nutcracker

$21.99 from Amazon »

Our current Secretary of State and former First Lady certainly has her hands full these days. Fortunately her legs are free. And what better way to set them to purpose than busting nuts. Er... cracking balls. Wait......

Two Slice Toaster And Egg Poacher

$47.89 from Amazon »

To the dismay of chickens everywhere, we've been brow-beaten with the idea that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And, while that is certainly debatable, it's definitely in the top three. Unfortunately...

Knife Refrigerator Magnet

$19.91 from Amazon »

Those nights of binge eating and the haunting lure of a fridge filled with simple carbs and trans fats? Send them to their metaphorical death. Die leftover deep dish pizza! See how you like it in your gut, cookie dough...

Chef Stack Pancake Machine

$3,500 from Chef Stack »

Now this is a pancake machine Henry Ford would appreciate. It's almost akin to something you'd see Homer lying down in front of with his mouth open wide as the Chef Stack Pancake Machine pumps endless pancakes into his...

Brass Knuckle Meat Pounder

Sold Out from Amazon »

I'll skirt the obvious meat pounder jokes here. I do see a pretty nifty dual purpose tool though. I've never tenderized meat before cooking it, but this looks like it might make the job sort of fun. And, if someone breaks...

Tap Your Fruit Juice Sprayer

By: Quirky »

This ingenious concept product is getting ready to go into production. The juice is so much tastier when it comes directly from the tap. Stick the "stem" right into your favorite sprayable citrus fruit (lemons, limes......

Pancake Plates

I can't think of anything bad to say about this product. It's not particularly inspired (it's just a plate with an extra level for syrup to pool into) but it does exactly what it is supposed to do. And it's certainly...

Bear Paw Meat Handler Forks

$15.95 from Amazon »

After I kill a deer, skin it with my bare hands, and eat its still beating heart, the last thing I wanna do is touch the raw meat. That's why I use these aptly named Bear Paw Meat Handlers when I handle my meat. Gone...

Toilet Bowl Coffee Mug

$11.15 from Amazon »

Previously reserved for the likes of your dog, your cat, your children and you after 10 shots of whatever the cool person shot currently is, now, you can enjoy your favorite wake-me-up drink from the rims of your own...