Kitchen

Juice Bruce Lemon Squeezer

$17.98 from Amazon »

And you thought getting the occasional squirt of lime in the eye from your friend Cornelius' Corona was bad. Juice Bruce spends his entire useful life getting doused in the acid of citrus fruits. All in the name of serving...

FoodPod Boil Bag & Strainer

$19.76 from Amazon »

The FoodPod looks like an adorable, fat-jowled alien. See--the horizontal strip cutout is his eyes, the first bump below that his nose, the 2 oval cutouts below that his pair of mouths, and the big rounded sides of the...

Nonstick Splatter Guard

$8.66 from Amazon »

I think little flecks of grease, meat particulates, and cake batter splattered all over the walls and cabinets add to the shabby chic aesthetic of my kitchen. Why be so sterile and hoity-toity? I want to welcome everyone...

Fasta Pasta Microwave Pasta Cooker

$14.95 from Amazon »

For those who claim to be so lousy in the kitchen you can't even boil water, the Fasta Pasta is for you. For those who don't have much of a kitchen in you studio, basement, or dorm room, the Fasta Pasta is also for you....

Stovetop Korean BBQ Grill Pan

$27.99 from Amazon »

If you haven't had or don't know what Korean BBQ is, click here for a thousand words. And here for a thousand more. Typically, a Korean BBQ is a tabletop-sized gas or charcoal grill that

Hitecera Bullet Peeler & Knife

$11.99 from Amazon »

This bullet fires into your favorite fruits and vegetables, doubling as a peeler and paring knife on its two ends. According to maker Hitecera, the easy-carry, fully-sheathed tool is rust-proof and impervious to acids...

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The Doughnut Warming Coffee Mug

$16.95 from Amazon »

This mug has been specially crafted with a "plate" set into its rim so you can use your morning cup of coffee or tea to also hold and warm your morning doughnut. The only problem is that I heard your morning doughnut...

Magnetic HTML

$9.99 from Amazon »

Have you been looking for a way to make the grocery and to-do lists you leave on the fridge for your girlfriend / wife / roommate / mama even more annoying? This should do it: Magnetic HTML. Like a magnetic poetry kit...

Soup & Cracker Mugs

$22.95 from Amazon »

Despite statistics showing that February 2016 was the warmest month on Earth in the history of Earth, it is still winter on my street. Chilly, windy, tomato-soup-time winter. And what goes better with tomato soup than...

Whale Coffee Mug & Cookie Holder

$14.26 from Amazon »

This whale mug with cookie-holding mouth would have to be life-sized to accurately reflect the number of frosted shamrocks I ate last night in a St. Paddy's Day / NCAA Tourney warmup session, and also the amount of coffee...

Drop Block Under-Cabinet Knife Blocks

$89.99 - $142.97 from Amazon »

It's not like countertop knife blocks take up that much space, but...yeah, they kind of do. Especially if space in your kitchen is already at a premium, what with the microwave, commercial blender, food processor, electric...

KoMo Fidibus 21 Grain Mill

$399.99 from Amazon »

Kamut and spelt and millet, oh my! A little bit of quinoa in my life, a little bit of amaranth by my side. A little bit of barley's all I need, a little bit of sorghum is what I see. Wheat and oats, rice brown and white...

Holstein Housewares Empanada Maker

$19.71 - $22.17 from Amazon »

The last electric empanada maker I showed you was from Nostalgia Electrics, but this one from Holstein Housewares is waaaay better in terms of: empanada size and shape (smaller, finger food-style with an authentic crinkle-pressed...

Egg Monster Toast Cutter

$8.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Forget Toads in the Hole, the brave, the strong, the warriors who truly want to conquer their day kick it off with a little Eye of the Beast. Ahhh, breakfast has never been geekier and breaking the yolk never more satisfying...

KitchenAid 3-Speed Hand Blender

$59.39 from Amazon »

This week's Plenty Vaporizer giveaway has got me hungry. I'll take anything you got, but some nachos, homemade pork sausage (patties, not links, please), a coupla grilled cheeses with tomato soup, and a cheesecake would...

Edible Spoon Maker

How large of a pile of strawberry jam can I scoop up in an Edible Spoon made out of Grands Biscuit dough? I don't know, but I can't wait to find out once this groundbreaking Edible Spoon Maker hits the free market. The...

Stelton Pure Black Knives

$57.55 - $279.30 from Amazon »

Sometimes applying the all-black treatment to common household items looks rad (e.g., jacuzzis, toilet paper). Other times it looks like it might kill you if you use it (e.g., toothpaste, <a href="/food/novelty/blk...

Pizzeria Pronto Stovetop Pizza Oven

$148.95 from Amazon »

Pizzacraft has made stovetop spinoff to their Pizzeria Pronto Outdoor Pizza Oven. It's called the Pizzeria Pronto Stovetop Pizza Oven. Don't worry, I'm sure the design and performance are a lot more inspired than the...

Cutting Boredom Cutting Boards

$35 - $125 from Etsy »

If you're not into Final Fantasy, maybe you'd like Tony Montana and "Scarf Place" on your cutting board. Or Jules Winnfield demanding, "Let's get these motherfuckin steaks on that motherfuckin flame!" Or Inigo Montoya...

Index Cutting Board Set

$27.42 - $64.67 from Amazon »

If you're going to chop, chop it's a good idea to get organized. Joseph Joseph helps out with a file box of cutting boards, all tabbed for quick grabbing and indexed according to what you're going to be chop, chopping....

Philips Automatic Pasta Maker

$285.72 from Amazon »

I was watching that Aziz Ansari Master of None show, and after Aziz's girlfriend told him she might move to Chicago for a job he decided to cope by learning to make pasta. By the end of the episode he had declared himself...

Lekue Collapsible Popcorn Popper

$19.95 from Amazon »

If you would like to gorge on popcorn during movie night and Super Bowl Sunday, and save space in your kitchen the other days of the week, Lekue has an idea. Their microwave popcorn popper lets you blast open kernels...

Crock-Pot Entertaining System

$32 - $55.79 from Amazon »

What a crock of sh...azam! Piping-all-night dips, steaming appetizers, even hot roasts in waiting. Crock-Pot has always made cooking for the Super Bowl easier, and now I see they've heightened hosting efforts too with...

Your Slyce Pizza Topping Divider

$14.99 from Amazon »

I guess the Your Slyce pizza topping divider--or as they call it, "personalization tool"--is a good idea for, say, the 1% of Americans who eat only 1 slice of pizza. For the rest of us, it's a terrible tease....

Transparent Electric Kettle

$28.99 from Amazon »

Like the MoMA store's transparent stock pot, Hamilton Beach's Glass Electric Kettle makes watching water boil a damn good time simply by providing a 360-degree view (well, almost) of the process. Bonus points go to the...

Voodoo Cutting & Serving Board

$16.99 from Amazon »

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like charcuterie and voodoo. The OUCH! cutting and serving board is carved in the likeness of everyone's favorite stitched-up human likeness, and even includes the ominous knife in the back...

Lodge Cast Iron Reversible Grill

$56.35 from Amazon »

Another boomerang gift! I'll give my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, Lodge's Cast Iron Reversible Grill / Griddle for Christmas, and she'll give me all the steaks, burgers, strips of bacon, pancakes, and grilled...

Betty Crocker Pizza Maker

$33.65 from Amazon »

Pizza stones are so heavy. And preheating the oven takes so long. And not burning myself when I try to Operation out my piping hot pie a little too zealously is nearly impossible. Sure, I don't really need a whole separate...

Amco Rub-A-Way Bar

$7.50 from Amazon »

How can garlic smell so good sizzling in a hot skillet, but soooo bad on my breath and hands? It's an age-old question, I know. I also know these types of stainless steel kitchen odor removers have been around for a while...

Breakfast Burrito Maker

$25.53 from Amazon »

The people want burritos! It's no surprise Hamilton Beach has followed up its wildly popular Breakfast Sandwich Maker with a Breakfast Burrito Maker because, well, the people want burritos! Since 1975, according to Wikipedia...

Silpat Perfect Cookie Baking Sheet

$18.62 from Amazon »

Sure, maybe the cookie dough you've haphazardly slopped on the sheet will taste good. Maybe you can get by with the batter that was a little too runny, or the pinball-sized dollops that grew into baseballs as you scooped...

T-fal OptiGrill Indoor Electric Grill

$117.50 from Amazon »

Kebabs, bacon, steaks, sandwiches. Yep, T-fal pretty much has the cooking of all my major food groups covered with its OptiGrill. The electric grill is even compact enough that I bet I can do all my food prep right from...

bolo Rolling Knife

$11 - $24 from bolo »

It's Edward Scissorhands 2.0. I wonder if bolo can craft topiaries as well as it minces garlic, slices carrots, and dices onions. This kitchen knife with a curved blade and "O" handle rolls through rather than chops down...

Dai Sensei Japanese Kitchen Knife

Sold Out from Amazon »

Dai Sensei means "Grand Master" in Japanese, and that's presumably what this fusion of a Japanese blade and a French chef's knife will make the kitchen warrior who wields it. (Note: Knowing proper knife skills, such as...

Lekue Kabob Cooker

$19.95 from Amazon »

Skewer your meat, fish, and vegetables and load up the Lekue Kabob Cooker for steamed & speared dinner. I approve of everything about Lekue's microwavable Kabob cooker except the way they spell "kabob." I like "kebab."...

Clip & Drain Strainer

$12.38 from Amazon »

Do you know what this life-changing specimen before you is?! Neither do I because I don't cook. It's not in my skill set. My girlfriend and my mama cook though. And surrounding myself with women who kill it in the kitchen...

Toaster Buddies Baskets

$65 from Amazon »

English muffins, bagels, Eggos, and Pop-Tarts: always better toasted. Human fingers: not so much. Toaster Buddies is a heat-resistant stainless steel basket designed to cradle your most precious to-toast items. It both...

Non-Stick Divided Grill/Fry/Oven Skillet

$59.98 from Amazon »

Master Pan asks a good question: why use 5 pans to make a great meal when you only need one? But a better question might be: why use any pans to make a great meal when the girlfriend you just moved in with has Chinese...

Himalayan Crystal Salt Cooking Tile

$11.99 - $17.99 from Amazon »

Not only does this Himalayan Salt Rock Tile contain 10,000% of your daily recommended allowance of sodium, but it also cooks food evenly, serves it beautifully, and seasons it deliciously. Sit the slab directly on your...

Single Serve & Full Pot Coffee Maker

$81.67 from Amazon »

This Two-Way Brewer gives me the option of making a 14-ounce cup of coffee just for me, or a whole 12-cup pot of coffee just for me when I'm really tired. Or really hungover. Or really constipated....

Ultra Fast Defrosting Tray

$14.99 from Amazon »

I want a big hunk of meat, and I want it now. What? Frozen?! Thaw overnight in the fridge? Thaw in a bowl of water for a few hours? Thaw in the microwave and let it get all...microwaved? How about, instead of any of that...

Ninja Ultima Kitchen System

$579.62 from Amazon »

I was looking up ninja stuff on Amazon because...I'm a dude...and they kept showing me this blender and all of its 1,000 sellers and iterations. And I was like, "Stop showing me this damn effing blender, Amazon! I want...

Utopia Kitchen 6-Piece Knife Set

Sold Out from Amazon »

Here are some cheap knives with a sweet magnetic knife block and good reviews for sharpness, quality, durability, and ease of juggling. OK, I don't know about that last one, but it does seem that buyers dig Utopia Kitchen's...

Adjustable Speed 19,000 RPM Milk Frother

Sold Out from Amazon »

Last weekend I was admiring a shiny new Ducati 1299 Panigale parked outside the ice cream store when my girlfriend started spouting off motorcycle-related wreck and fatality statistics and asked me why I would even want...

Philips Digital AirFryer

$281.94 from Amazon »

Philips has its own oil-less air fryer similar to the Big Boss model I previously pointed out will make you less likely to get fat and have a heart attack. Actually, Philips has two AirFryers: a simple version with manual...

KRUPS Egg Cooker

$28.97 from Amazon »

Nothing sucks more than spending 15 precious minutes hardboiling an egg only to crack it open and find a puckered rubbery white and grisly-green-sheathed yolk. It's not that it's hard to make a perfectly cooked egg. It's...

Homemade Butter Mini Churn

$14.09 from Amazon »

Back to the roots, farm to table, quality ingredients, knowing what you're shoving down your piehole. What was the norm for our grandparents, and the waste of time what with this microwave and these golden arches around...

Self-Balancing Butter Knife

Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. This is the Weeble of butter knives. A dynamo at the dinner table, the knife self-balances on one end when not in use so you don't have to lay its jam/butter/mustard-covered other...