Kitchen

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Fourneau Bread Oven

$224.99 from Amazon »

1 x solid maple surface + 1 x pre-seasoned cast iron dome = 1 x Fourneau Bread Oven carbo-coma. If you've got the touchy yeast thing down, the touchy kneading thing down, and the touchy rise in a warm (but not too warm!)...

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Aroma 3-in-1 Grillet

$26.95 - $29.99 from Amazon »

The Aroma 3-in-1 Grillet has a pretty low price, a pretty decent number of skills, and pretty high marks from reviewers. It's also a pretty safe gift to give this year because it's completely inoffensive, doesn't require...

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Germophobe's Silverware

$118.74 from Amazon »

If the thought of the 5 second rule--or of my policy of eating anything off the floor that still looks tasty regardless of how long it's been there--makes you gag up a little bit of your undigested lunch, then have I...

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The Whisk Wiper

$23 from Whisk Wiper »

What is this whiskcraft I see before me? You mean worming my tongue between the wire loops and getting chocolate cake batter all over my face isn't the best way to clean off the whisk when my girlfriend is baking? Nah....

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The Briner

$29.95 from Amazon »

Floaters can be good--boats, pizza rafts--and floaters can be bad--poo in the pool, turkey in the brine. The Briner is a 22-quart bucket that pretty much looks like any other 22-quart bucket, except that it secures food...

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Pelamatic Fruit & Vegetable Peeler

$149.99 from Amazon »

The orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'til aaaallll the ughbittergrossblechblechblech white stuff...

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Kujira Whale Knives

$35.97 - $44.49 from Amazon »

Did you know whales can cut the cheese too? In fact, I bet they're the sharpest and most powerful cheese cutters on earth. Check it out. You got a sperm whale ready to cut the cheese, a humpback whale ready to cut the...

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The Food Kracker

$14.95 - $19.95 from Food Kracker, Inc. »

The Food Kracker looks to be as gratifying in application as it is effective. Almost as good as when you buy a bag of ice that gets all hunked up together in the freezer, so when you want to use it you lift it really...

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Science Lab Oil & Vinegar Bottles

$11.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Most foodies are savvy enough to know how to achieve the perfect balance of oil and vinegar in their salad dressings, space-conscious enough to be perpetually on the lookout for ways to consolidate containers on their...

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FOODsniffer Food Freshness Tester

$129.99 from FOODsniffer »

You don't need a trained bloodhound or a night of explosive diarrhea and vomiting out the nose to figure out if your food's gone bad anymore. FOODsniffer is a portable "eNose" that will test your meat, poultry, and fish...

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Bellini Kitchen Master 8-in-1 Appliance

$529 from Amazon »

If you've watched the first few episodes of Westworld, you know where we're headed. Machines that will help us escape from our lives. Allow us to visit faraway places and times--real, not virtual--without an airplane...

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Polygon - 4-in-1 Origami Measuring Spoons

$12 from Polygons »

A flat spoon. Isn't that about as useful as a holey bucket? Or decaf? Under normal circumstances, indeed, but under the origami folds of Polygons, spoons that lay smooth and straight as a nun's ruler aren't just useful...

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Sansaire Sous Vide Immersion Circulator

$149.99 from Amazon »

A sous vide machine is one of my best gift picks for anyone you know who likes to cook, and especially for anyone you know who likes to cook for you. Traditionally giant, cumbersome, and expensive temperature-controlled...

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Measured Olive Oil Dispenser

$34.99 from Amazon »

Typically talking to me about "portion control" makes me feel very cheated and melancholy, but I actually don't like a ton of dressing on my salads or oil in my stir fries. I also don't like trying to measure out a teaspoon...

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15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator

$89.90 from Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

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Shark Sushi Plate

$180 from Etsy »

Dunk a piece of your Caterpillar Roll in this sushi plate's wasabi & soy sauce reservoir and you might not get it back. Might be the last you see of your chopsticks...and your fingers...too....

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Heat-Resistant Oven Rack Guards

$20.95 from Amazon »

Sonofa-- [Insert long, loud string of expletives here.] How many times have I thought I'd just poke my pan of Bagel Bites a little farther back after sticking them in the oven? How many times have I been too lazy to pull...

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Cangshan German Steel Knife Block Set

$195.95 from Amazon »

Brass rivets in the handles and a Swiss cheese block gave this Cangshan knife set an Honorable Mention in the 2016 RedDot Awards. It does look pretty nice. Complementing the design details are the solid walnut used to...

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Clever Cutter 2-in-1 Food Chopper

$14.97 - $23.40 from Amazon »

The Clever Cutter won't exactly carve your turkey dinner, but for chopping vegetables, snipping bacon bits, and slicing cheese, the scissor blades and cutting board in one are a lazy man's dream come true....

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Messerast Knife Holders

$150 - $170 from Buchholzberlin »

This rack is so nice it will give you solid wood. German home goods store Buchholz Berlin uses real branches, each obviously unique unto itself, to form and finish the Masserast series of kitchen knife racks. Each branch's...

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Scoop & Stack Ice Cream Scoop

$14.95 - $23.99 from Amazon »

Pssst, here's the scoop: it's a cylinder. Madness! Madness! you say....

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Recycled Skateboard Butcher Knives

Sold Out from Etsy »

Trick out your kitchen with a 2nd Shot Canada skateboard butcher knife. Husband and wife team Lindsay and John turn ollies, tailslides, and top guns into the handles of their damascus chopping blades. Each is a OOAK knife...

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Ammo Can Knife Set

First the ammo, then the fire. On the range, and now in the kitchen, courtesy of Delta Echo Products' Ammo Can Knife set. Arm yourself with the tools you'll need to cube, trim, slice, and dice your ingredients into shape...

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Salt & Pepper Rocket Mill

$62.97 from Amazon »

Would you like some freshly blasted pepper on your salad? A little salt to take your soup from tasty to out of this world?...

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SOUP3RB Cook + Blend Blender

$69.99 from Amazon »

It looks like someone stuck the SOUP3RB's name in a blender. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether the word that came out of 3 Square's Cook + Blend machine is hot or cold....

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Sunmile Electric Meat Grinder

$79.99 from Amazon »

Of the Sunmile Electric Meat Grinder, Amazon's top positive reviewer says, "At this price point it is suited for the weekend gourmand who wants a proper tasting burger." And I think that's about all we need to know....

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Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine

Dyson keeps your life clean, cool, and now--if Jaehyo Lee's concept for a coffee maker comes to percolation--caffeinated. The Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine repurposes the technology of Dyson's vacuum cleaners and...

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Tri-Blade Vegetable Spiral Slicer

$23.95 from Amazon »

Freshly shredded, vitamin C-packed cabbage. Potassium-rich, low-carb zucchini noodles. Byoootiful seasonal ribbons of persimmon to go alongside your glazed duck breast. And...mmmmm...triple fried curly fries....

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Clever Kebab Maker

Sold Out from Amazon »

Piled, skewered, sliced. Kebabs are livin' the fast life with this lickety split 6-in-1 assembly line (assembly stack?)...

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Chef'n Cob Corn Stripper

$7.99 from Amazon »

This Cob Corn Stripper (not to be confused with a lady in a cornfield on a Hitch 'Er Up Stripper Pole) better work damn good, and without making a mess, because despite my rant last week about breaking up ground beef...

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Ground Meat Chopper

$11.95 from Amazon »

Since any idiot can cook ground beef crumbles on the stovetop, my girlfriend often makes me do it when she's making chili or bolognaise sauce. And then goes all Meat Chunk Police on me, tossing out comments about how...

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Meat Shredding Claws

$14.95 from Amazon »

Second only to my teeth--and probably preferred by the other people at the BBQ--these Claws from OXO shred meat with quickness, efficiency, and panache. Well, as much panache as a eagle's talons or a coupla garden rakes...

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Yomo Simple Sushi Maker

$69.99 from Amazon »

People always talk about sushi making as this formidable, elusive craft that many have tried, but all but the most elite and Jiro-Ono-blessed have failed to execute well. And while I basically agree with this assessment...

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Juice Bruce Lemon Squeezer

$17.98 from Amazon »

And you thought getting the occasional squirt of lime in the eye from your friend Cornelius' Corona was bad. Juice Bruce spends his entire useful life getting doused in the acid of citrus fruits. All in the name of serving...

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FoodPod Boil Bag & Strainer

$18.75 from Amazon »

The FoodPod looks like an adorable, fat-jowled alien. See--the horizontal strip cutout is his eyes, the first bump below that his nose, the 2 oval cutouts below that his pair of mouths, and the big rounded sides of the...

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Nonstick Splatter Guard

$6.12 from Amazon »

I think little flecks of grease, meat particulates, and cake batter splattered all over the walls and cabinets add to the shabby chic aesthetic of my kitchen. Why be so sterile and hoity-toity? I want to welcome everyone...

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Fasta Pasta Microwave Pasta Cooker

$12.93 from Amazon »

For those who claim to be so lousy in the kitchen you can't even boil water, the Fasta Pasta is for you. For those who don't have much of a kitchen in you studio, basement, or dorm room, the Fasta Pasta is also for you....

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Stovetop Korean BBQ Grill Pan

$21.84 from Amazon »

If you haven't had or don't know what Korean BBQ is, click here for a thousand words. And here for a thousand more. Typically, a Korean BBQ is a tabletop-sized gas or charcoal grill that

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Hitecera Bullet Peeler & Knife

$11.99 from Amazon »

This bullet fires into your favorite fruits and vegetables, doubling as a peeler and paring knife on its two ends. According to maker Hitecera, the easy-carry, fully-sheathed tool is rust-proof and impervious to acids...

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The Doughnut Warming Coffee Mug

Sold Out from Amazon »

This mug has been specially crafted with a "plate" set into its rim so you can use your morning cup of coffee or tea to also hold and warm your morning doughnut. The only problem is that I heard your morning doughnut...

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Magnetic HTML

$6 from Amazon »

Have you been looking for a way to make the grocery and to-do lists you leave on the fridge for your girlfriend / wife / roommate / mama even more annoying? This should do it: Magnetic HTML. Like a magnetic poetry kit...

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Soup & Cracker Mugs

Sold Out from Amazon »

Despite statistics showing that February 2016 was the warmest month on Earth in the history of Earth, it is still winter on my street. Chilly, windy, tomato-soup-time winter. And what goes better with tomato soup than...

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Whale Coffee Mug & Cookie Holder

$20 from Amazon »

This whale mug with cookie-holding mouth would have to be life-sized to accurately reflect the number of frosted shamrocks I ate last night in a St. Paddy's Day / NCAA Tourney warmup session, and also the amount of coffee...

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Drop Block Under-Cabinet Knife Blocks

$89.99 - $142.97 from Amazon »

It's not like countertop knife blocks take up that much space, but...yeah, they kind of do. Especially if space in your kitchen is already at a premium, what with the microwave, commercial blender, food processor, electric...

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KoMo Fidibus 21 Grain Mill

$399.99 from Amazon »

Kamut and spelt and millet, oh my! A little bit of quinoa in my life, a little bit of amaranth by my side. A little bit of barley's all I need, a little bit of sorghum is what I see. Wheat and oats, rice brown and white...

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Holstein Housewares Empanada Maker

$19.71 - $22.17 from Amazon »

The last electric empanada maker I showed you was from Nostalgia Electrics, but this one from Holstein Housewares is waaaay better in terms of: empanada size and shape (smaller, finger food-style with an authentic crinkle-pressed...

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Egg Monster Toast Cutter

$8.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Forget Toads in the Hole, the brave, the strong, the warriors who truly want to conquer their day kick it off with a little Eye of the Beast. Ahhh, breakfast has never been geekier and breaking the yolk never more satisfying...

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KitchenAid 3-Speed Hand Blender

Sold Out from Amazon »

This week's Plenty Vaporizer giveaway has got me hungry. I'll take anything you got, but some nachos, homemade pork sausage (patties, not links, please), a coupla grilled cheeses with tomato soup, and a cheesecake would...