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Laser Engraved Cat Rolling Pin

By: on November 11, 2017
$23.99
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Meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-...chomp! Mmmm, nothing like a buttery bite of shortbread kitteh! You might say this laser engraved cat rolling pin is for cat people. Or, you could make an argument that it's for dog people who relish devouring frisky felines en masse.

The cat-covered cylinder rolls out cookies, crusts, and maybe even raviolis with an assortment of embossed furry friends in poses including: prowling; leaping; ignoring you; and looking back pretending to care, but really not giving a rat's ass (FYI, he already munched on that). The rolling pin has a total length of 15.4" and cylinder size of 7.8" x 2".

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Cuisinart Air Fryer Toaster Oven

$157.75 from Amazon »

I'm not showing you Cusinart's AirFryer Toaster Oven because it's one of Oprah's Favorite Things for 2017...or because I spent any time at all browsing Oprah's Favorite Things for 2017. I'm showing it to you because it...

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$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

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Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

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F-Cup Cookies

F-Cup Cookies sound like they would be a joke, and they probably are, but for all women with concave chesticular regions and, more importantly, for all the men who have to fondle them, I sure as 2 seconds of motorboating...

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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

$9.99 from Amazon »

A must-read for every cat parent! How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives consolidates 8 crucial public service pamphlets into a clear...

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Dunking Buddy Mess-Free Cookie Dunker

$9.15 from Amazon »

That's Dunking Buddy, not Drunking Buddy, Cornelius. Don't worry, I'm not replacing you. In fact, you could say that I'm making our Scotch Sundays, Tequila Tuesdays, Whiskey Wednesdays even better. This cup and magnetic...

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Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 from Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

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Haunted Skull Cakelet Pan

$189.78 from Amazon »

Skull "cakelets." Spooky, sinister, and...adorable. Bring on the devil's food, 'cause you're haunting me with your cuteness, little skulls....

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Iron Throne Cat Bed

$198 from Etsy »

Is your cat the rightful heir to the FELIRON THRONE? A bright spot in my week of Game of Thrones withdrawal (2019? 2019?!) Kate Agafonova's Iron Throne Cat Bed invites kitties from all families - royals, wardens, lords...

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Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...