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Posted: Friday, November 16, 2012

Handblown Glass Fish Straws

Handblown Glass Fish Straws
  • Handblown Glass Fish Straws
  • Handblown Glass Fish Straws

Monkey see, monkey do--if you drink like a fish, your kids will too! So put away that bottle of Tanqueray, stow the Whisky Advent Calendar 'til after hours, and grab a couple of these Handblown Fish Straws to sip, suck, and bubble it down in a way that's healthy both for your children's upbringings and your own livers! (Why hasn't someone hired me to write Public Service Announcements yet?)

Bright colors, big mouths, propensity to be both noisy and messy, straws culminating in a grinning guppy are a tike's dream. The set of two is made of borosilicate glass safe for use with beverages hot and hold. Though handwashing is recommended, they are also dishwasher safe. Curiously, the listing's parting words read, "Not intended for children," but obviously that's hogwash. We've already established that every child on the planet is going to take one look at a straw with a bubble-blowing fish on its end and want it, and that using the straws as a family is a good way to teach them that playing with whimsical kitchenwares is much more fun than getting drunk. How could they be meant for anyone but kids?

I guess maybe just don't give them to the ones who are teething or don't understand yet why they shouldn't chew on glass.

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Purchase Details: $25 from Uncommon Goods »
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