Creature Cups

By: on July 11, 2013
  • Creature Cups
  • Creature Cups
  • Creature Cups
$9.29 - $19.99
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[Cue voice of James Earl Jones.] Rising menacingly from the depths of this cup of chamomile sleepytime tea with a squeeze of lemon...THE KRAKEN! Muahahahaha!

Hey. Hey, Grandma, are you OK? Look, it's just a ceramic octopus built into your cup. There's no need to be alarmed, it's...uh, Nurse? Could we get some smelling salts or, like, patchouli over here? I think my grandma saw something...on TV...that freaked her out.

Creature cups come with all sorts of fun and heart-stoppingly scary animals built into their bottoms. In addition to 8-legged sea monsters, they also have great white dagger-toothed sea monsters, Rasta sea monsters that will pinch your pecker, massive, carnivorous monsters that are currently extinct and hate pushups, swamp monsters that enjoy wrangling and eating flesh, and frogs, which many people do not consider monsters, but a variety of which is actually the most poisonous animal on earth.

Technically non-monstrous cuppified creatures include the elephant, sea otter, and pelican. I say "technically" because I bet I, and they, could think of a way to terrorize you if we tried.