Last weekend I was admiring a shiny new Ducati 1299 Panigale parked outside the ice cream store when my girlfriend started spouting off motorcycle-related wreck and fatality statistics and asked me why I would even want a death machine like that. I responded as any man would have: "Because, baby, I feel the neeeed, the need for speed!"
So this weekend she took me out and bought me a 19,000 RPM milk frother. The fastest, most powerful battery-operated milk frother on earth.
In the company of Bru Joy's magic wand, cow juice goes from flat to foamier than the dishwasher you might have accidentally filled with normal dish soap instead of one of those pouch things in a mere 20 seconds. Homemade cappuccinos, lattes, hot chocolates, and bowls of Cap'n Crunch never had it so good. The stainless steel stick also has adjustment controls for gradual spin speed increases or for those who prefer to froth their milk on low (i.e., people who like to take as long as possible to perform simple tasks, such as every person ever in front of me in the TSA line.)