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Floppy Disk Table

By: on November 30, 2012
$960
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Cool: A hot-rolled and stainless steel table fashioned to look like a floppy disk. Cooler: The metal guard plate on it slides back to reveal a secret storage space. Holy crap. I am nearing giddiness watching the GIF on its constant loop. Bloop! Remote control. Bloop! Solid surface. Sickness! In addition to its Bond-like compartment, the floppy disk table's special snowflake qualities include hand-forging and a lasered serial number unique to each one that is custom-produced.

Not that most people wouldn't rearrange their entire living room to accommodate it, but for planning purposes the Floppy Disk table measures 27.56" wide x 25.59" high x 17.72" deep. And even though it costs about 30 times more, I think I'm going to swap out the Floppy Disk Coasters on my list to Santa (Mama) this year in favor of the Floppy Disk Table. Then again, if I got them both, I could put the coasters in the table. I could store them in the secret space. Aw man, I would so be the mack.

You hear that, Mama? What's a little over $1,000 when the return is your son being the mack?

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Fletcher Capstan - World's Coolest Expandable Table

World's. Coolest. Not an understatement. Take 10 seconds to watch the Fletcher Capstan expandable table video, and the rest of the day off work to recover from your blown mind. Or maybe you'll disagree that the mesmerizing...

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Float Levitating Table

$10k - $20k from Rock Paper Robot »

Oh holy balls, it's a Rubik's Cube with the structural integrity of a marshmallow. In laymen's terms. In technical terms, the Float table is "a matrix of 'magnetized' wooden cubes that levitate with respect to one another."...

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Working Nintendo Controller Coffee Table

$6k from Etsy »

What holds feet, beer, and the controls that will drive your world-record-setting Tetris score? Feast your eyes on the fully-functional Nintendo Controller Coffee Table. Charles Lushear has entwined old school entertainment...

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The Wonder Cart Table & Beach Cart

$45.99 from Amazon »

Calling this beach gear cart and table combo The Wonder Cart might be a bit of an overstatement. Sure, it's handy to be able to use the carrier to schlep all your towels and floats to the perfect spot, and then flip it...

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The Abyss Table

$9,960 from Duffy London »

I don't know if falling onto Duffy London's forthcoming oceanic cross-section coffee table will send you into The Abyss, but I can almost guarantee running into it will stub all of your toes and bloody your entire leg...

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JAG Communal Grill Table

$2,499 - $2,999 from JAG Grill »

I don't really want a JAG Grill for myself. I mean, it's a lot of money and seems like a lot of work to put together and maintain, and then you have to, like, clean it.... But I am very much in favor of someone I know...

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Dripping Glass Jellyfish Sculptures

Daniela Forti creates these sick jellyfish sculptures and sculptural tables that I would definitely break within 5 minutes of owning using a glassworking technique called glass fusion, and a physics technique called gravity....

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Keter Cool Bar - Outdoor Table & Cooler

$82.50 from Amazon »

I don't have a lot of space for outdoor furniture, so I like the double duty Keter's Cool Bar has agreed to pull for me. Part side table, part - surprise! - cooler, and it doesn't even look big and clunky, or like an...

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Kotatsu Heated Table

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Do you have to be a girl to want one of these super-cozy-looking Japanese Kotatsu? Do you have to be a girl to use the term "super-cozy-looking?" Oh well then. Call me a big ol' girl and send me a big ol' heated blanket...

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The Don Vino Wine Table

$3,500 - $5k from Chicone »

I'm crowning the Don Vino Wine Table "The Godfather of Wine Storage." Not just because creator Chicone Cabinetmakers has given it the Italian Don honor, but also because it is a unique, classy, and dually functional piece...

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Burning Through Cash Table

Amarist Studio and Alejandro Monge hope their cash pyre coffee table will ignite as much discussion as it does 50 Euro bills. The piece is a symbolic reflection on "the volatility of money and its true value," consumerist...

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Inception Coffee Table

$5,425 from Mousarris »

Designer and model maker Stelios Mousarris calls this coffee table his Wave City, but you know this stellar assemblage of a city folding on top of itself comes straight from the trippy scenes of the movie Inception. Mousarris...