Flip over Doktor Schmerling's gearwork sand timer and as the grains drop, its gears will churn wider and wider, opening a portal to an alternate steampunk dimension in 1880s London.
Or it will just tell you when your eating timeout for "hogging all the ribs like a starving mongrel" is over, and you can come back to the dinner table.
For the record, I do not eat like a starving mongrel. I just like my mama's ribs.
The steampunk sand timer stands a desktop-sized 6-1/8" tall. It's made from designer composite resin that's been hand painted and polished. Run time is 5 minutes.