Handbook for the Recently Deceased

By: on February 05, 2013
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This Handbook for the Recently Deceased contains 220 blank pages. I don't know if that's better or worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland's gibberish-filled version. Perhaps better, as at least buyers can fill this one with their own gibberish. A journal for musings on death, the afterlife, and how Tim Burton could just ditch favored leading man Michael Keaton for Johnny Depp circa 1994. I don't care if Depp gave him Edward Scissorhands and the Mad Hatter, Keaton was mother f'ing Beetlejuice. Man was Beetlejuice a good movie. I can't even think about my childhood without seeing black-and-white stripes and hearing The Banana Boat Song as internal background music.

The Handbook for the Recently Deceased pages are 70lb white, unlined paper. Front and back hard covers have been fitted with handmade printed cloth. Sizing--5-1/2" x 8"--is proportionate to that in the movie, as determined by the scene in which fatass Otho stole the handbook and hid it in his jacket pocket. Also included with the journal is a Beetlejuice/Betelgeuse flyer replica, and an insert sheet with lines from the film supposedly read out of the guide to being dead.

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