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Yoda Xmas Tree Topper

By: on October 24, 2011
  • Yoda Xmas Tree Topper
  • Yoda Xmas Tree Topper
$59.95
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Not sure how this new arrangement is going to fly in heaven. Hypothetical: Who would win in a battle between an army of Yodas with LED light sabers and a squadron of angels with golden-bladed halos blessed by God?

Not that it matters since Yoda is definitely Jewish, and there's no way he'd abuse the Force in a fight to be the figurehead of Christian holiday decor. Hate this 9 x 12-inch abomination he would! Good thing he's a fictional character. Yep, we said it. Yoda isn't real. Merry Christmas.

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Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture

$236.41 from Amazon »

The Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture is just in case you were curious what it would look like to throw a skeleton up against the wall in a hot blaze of passion and take it from behind. The arched back...

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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Star Wars Super Graphic: A Visual Guide

$13.56 from Amazon »

Yoda in a Venn diagram. Nicely done, Star Wars Super Graphic. I'll bet the left slice is those who "Do" and the right those who "Do Not," with the Yoda center representing the young Jedis who tell their master, "Alright...

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The Illuminator - Instant Light Projector

$39.99 - $49.99 from Amazon »

Thousands of decorative lights from the palm of my hand to the branches of my trees, or spans of my walls in minutes. Minutes. Without the hassle of knotted wires. Without the danger of ladders. Without the frustration...

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Star Wars Adult Onesies

$64.45 from Amazon »

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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Star Wars Chewbacca Beanbag

$169 - $279 from Pottery Barn »

The only thing wrong with this Chewbacca Beanbag, a Wookiee lounger my ass would otherwise love to plop down on, is that it's from Pottery Barn. Just like this Star Wars Bed. So basically the only people who can have...

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 2017

$799.99 from LEGO »

Start saving your credits and wupiupi. LEGO is dropping a new Millennium Falcon model - a 7,500-piece behemoth of a brick freighter - on October 1, 2017. Need a gift for a man? Particularly a man you'd like to make very...

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A Die Hard Christmas

$15.29 from Amazon »

Yippee Ki Yay! A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic is going to be on every kid's man's gift list this year. (Kids probably won't want it. They'll think the John McClane brand of killing and violence...

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Star Wars Pipes

$55 - $69 from Etsy »

One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a...

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Star Wars Return of the Jedi Wall Clock

$199.95 from Amazon »

The only thing missing from this Return of the Jedi wall clock is an R2-D2 head that pops out on the hour to go, Bee-boo-boop-coo-koo! Otherwise, it's all there. Electroluminescent lightsabers and LED glow from within:...