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Wine Education Prints

By: on January 21, 2014
$19.95 - $24.95
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Wine Folly has produced a series of infographic prints to assist in the casual wine drinker's oeno-education, and to give the wine savvy a sense of pride in seeing all the minutiae living inside their heads poured onto posters they can admire on their walls. In addition to the advice on How to Choose a Bottle of Wine we previously discussed, Wine Folly's collection includes:

The Basic Wine Guide to Preclude Looking Like the Dinner Table's Boorish Ignoramus. An 18" x 24" print delineating the framework of wine service and tasting techniques. Topics covered include wine calories, alcohol level, wine color, aroma, glassware, and decoding a wine label.

Wine Descriptions & What the Hell They Mean. This 18" x 24" print includes detailed explanations of over 120 descriptors commonly applied to wine's flavors and effects on the taster's palate. Like chewy, angular, and flamboyant, which can apparently apply to wine in addition to Skittles, Triscuits, and Froot Loops.

The Different Types of Wine, All of Which Will Get You Way More Shitfaced than Beer. An 18" x 24" visual guide to all major types of wine and a trusty compendium for finding a varietal that won't make you wince, pucker, or gag. Wine styles and flavor characteristics are profiled.

Pairing Wine and Food So That They Don't Make Each Other Taste Like a Barnyard Butthole. Color coded paths covering this 12" x 16" print lead from food categories to wine styles and varietals that typically pair well with them. Included are 11 types of food and 8 selections of wine. Wine Folly also notes here that asparagus, green beans, artichokes, brussels sprouts, and chocolate are pretty much lost causes when it comes to tasty wine pairings, and at least 4 of the 5 are going to taste like barnyard buttholes no matter what you serve them with.

The Colors of Wine You Will Inevitably Spill on Your Own Cheap Shirt or Someone Else's Incredibly Expensive One. 13" x 19" of data on wine coloration, from light-bodied reds to well-aged whites. Stain removal tips did not make the infographic's cut.

All wine education posters are printed on high quality matte paper with a book finish. Also, I may have taken some liberties with their official titles.

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Mainland USA, According to Common Sense

$8.25 - $47.95 from Zazzle »

The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure all of these "jokes" are based on actual statistics from the US Census. The other sad thing is, I bet the 95% of us who couldn't name half of the color blocks when looking at a blank...

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The Secret Lives of Superheroes Prints

$20 - $50 from Society 6 »

Greg-guillemin reigns supreme: Best Paparazzo Ever. I knew Wonder Woman's rack wasn't real. But I have to say, I definitely took it for silicone over Kleenex. Her tissue-molding skills are impressive. Superheros may pick...

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The Don Vino Wine Table

$3,500 - $5k from Chicone »

I'm crowning the Don Vino Wine Table "The Godfather of Wine Storage." Not just because creator Chicone Cabinetmakers has given it the Italian Don honor, but also because it is a unique, classy, and dually functional piece...

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Evolution of the Bat-Signal Poster

Discontinued

Geez, 30 permutations of Batman's Bat-Signal from 1940 to 2012. I wish the stale logos of Ford and Chevrolet would take a page out of the progressive DC Comics' book. Maybe then I'd consider buying an American car as...

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Star Wars on Earth Prints

Stirring scenes from American history, meet stirring scenes from American sci-fi. This set of 4 Star Wars prints from Thirteenth Floor pits some of the Empire's worst villains against some of our own greatest war heroes....

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Ullo Sulfite Remover & Wine Aerator

$79.95 from Wine Enthusiast »

But Ullo, the best part about a night of free-flowing bottles of cheap red wine is the cranial eruption I feel building in my sinuses the next morning! Why would I want to filter out the sulfites responsible for it*?...

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Cabidor Door Storage Cabinet

Sold Out from Amazon »

Behind Door #1 we have...a full-length pantry of Combos and Cap'n Crunch! And Behind Door #1-1/2 we have...a dozen classic NES cartridges, a coupla Koosh balls, and VHS cassettes of the best porn from my childhood (circa...

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Mandelmap Poster

$24 - $58 from Mandelmap »

I'm about to tell you about the Mandelmap, which means my brain is about to get really sore. You might look at the poster and think it looks cool. Artsy layout, vintage finish, and lots of "stuff" spanning its surface...

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Bam Vino Wine & Liquor Bottle Holders

$29.97 - $73.09 from Amazon »

Even if your Bam Vino is wearing the cap of your favorite MLB team, it's OK to pray for a swing and a miss when the bat's your $300 bottle of Richebourg Grand Cru. Or, if you're not into wine, this baseball player bust...

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Sciabola del Sommelier - Champagne Sabres

$124 from Amazon »

Great. I'm gonna have to start drinking white and pink bubble wine. Because hacking off bottle necks with a Champagne Sabre is the only way my girlfriend's ever going to agree to let me wield a sword around the house....

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Revolution Sideways Wine Glasses

$59 from GNR 8 »

What's nice about the Revolution wine glass being turned on its side is that it makes it easy for someone else to hold the stem and feed me more wine, or whiskey, when I'm too incapacitated to do it myself. Oh no wait...

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Don't Break the Bottle Wine Puzzle

$14.61 from Amazon »

Oh, Dad. You're such a sage. A simultaneous student and master of life. Willing pawn of the golf course, declared slave to the fishing pole. A magnate at the office, a maestro on the grill. Cigar aficionado, connoisseur...