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Warplane Propeller Ceiling Fan

By: on September 19, 2013
$302
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This warplane ceiling fan reminds me that I hate ceiling fans. For two reasons. First, once they're on it takes me 10 minutes to figure out how many times I have to pull the GD cord to turn them off. Click. It's slowing, right? Yeah, slowing...slowing...still slowing...is it gonna stop? Is it...click.... ... Oh sonofasandwich it's speeding back up. The second reason I hate ceiling fans is that the one in my bedroom is positioned perfectly to whack me in the hand every time I take my shirt off no matter where I'm standing. And if I try to whack it back it only hurts more.

For those who don't have regular altercations with ceiling fans and other inanimate objects, the Glamours Glen dog fighter translates nicely into an overhead air circulator for kids or adults who dig olden days airplanes. This one has 4 blades with a 48" span, 3 speeds, and a paint job reminiscent of the Chuck Yeager P-51's signature scheme. The plane fan's nose will hold a 60-watt bulb.

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Luxury Mile High Club Experience

$7,750 from Wish.co.uk »

Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring...

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ZERO Helicopter

Holy hovering vehicle of flight! It's the ZERO concept helicopter from Spanish helicopter thinker upper Hector del Amo. How does it work? How fast can it go? How far can it go? Is it safe? Who the hell knows?! Apparently...

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Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

$119 - $129 from Geizeer »

Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

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Noria Window Air Conditioner

$299 from Noria »

Granted, when it's hotter than a dragon's undercarriage out and I'm tasked with sleeping through the night, I don't really care if the air-circulating device that makes that possible looks like Jabba the Hutt's butt crack....

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Fitzke Bootlegger Paddleboard

By: Fitzke »

Fitzke begins its foray into paddleboard builds with a nod to airplanes and illicit booze. The Bootlegger SUP is designed after prohibition-era airplanes and wood boats from the 20s....

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FlyNano Single-Seat Seaplane

$48k from FlyNano »

Wetsuit recommended, pilot's license optional*. FlyNano Proto, an electric, single-seat amalgam of a seabird and a seaplane, took its maiden voyages in Summer 2012. Now the Finnish company is working to develop its first...

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Jet Beds

Oh boy. The magic of the sky meets the magic of where the magic happens. MotoArt, a group of daring-with-a-touch-of-devious mile-high artists, recycles old jet parts into exclusive, flashy pieces of furniture and home...

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Mercier-Jones Hovercraft

The Mercier-Jones' Hovercraft can achieve a lift of 8 inches. Wait, don't stop reading! I know that's not an epic flying car, or even Hoverbike, altitude, but consider this: would Big Brother really allow a private company...

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Portable Armrest Extender & Divider

$25 from Amazon »

To put this armrest extender and divider on my airplane seat the next time I fly somewhere do I need the person next to me's permission? I mean, it's not like the Knee Defender, aiding in my comfort at the expense of...

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ICON Sport Aircraft

$139k from Icon »

An airplane with the cockpit of a Lotus sports car that can float or fly at the behest of a pilot without a true pilot's license. The ICON sounds like a terrific idea! Apparently in 2004 the FAA did something inconceivable:...

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ShooAway Chemical Free Fly Repellent

$23.97 from Amazon »

When you're tired of flapping fingers and fly swatters, try a different style of shoo-away. The ShooAway fly repellent does what your hands, handhelds, and handy noxious strips cannot: it deters bugs from buzzing near...

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Titty Twirlers Pasties

$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn...