Wine Folly has released this quasi-satirical, though largely legit and helpful, infographic to assist self-conscious or indecisive wine buyers in the selection of the perfect bottle to bring, serve, or guzzle down solo while watching Edward Scissorhands with tear-stained cheeks for the 187th time. Starting with the two big categories of pressed grape consumption, personal use and presenting to someone else, How to Choose a Bottle of Wine navigates its oeno-players through an engaging series of flow chart conduits leading either to the perfect red or white match, or an exasperated sigh for the truly hopeless, and the polite request to "Get out of my flow chart."
Prompts include: Is it a special occasion?; Is it a dinner party?; Do you want to get drunk?; How well do you really know them?; Will the food pairing be cooked in a microwave?; and Is it an art opening? The latter's blanket recommendation, based on the assertion that "They rarely have a sense of taste," is a solid bottle of Two Buck Chuck. Seemingly serious and helpful suggestions range from forgoing wine in favor of whisky or vodka for bachelor(ette) parties, to a California Pinot Noir for the "Hedonistic Joy Ride" that should be your first anniversary, to a Chinon or Bourgueil if you're looking for a daily drinking wine...and ate dirt as a child.
The How to Choose a Bottle of Wine poster measures 18" x 27", and is printed on high quality archival paper, with a matte, book-style finish.