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Crying Unicorn Candle

By: on March 22, 2017
  • Crying Unicorn Candle
  • Crying Unicorn Candle
$24.79
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Is a crying unicorn a sign of impending doom or a hint that I should go get my coffee cup and drink up that rainbow magic for good luck?

I'm not sure who exactly a Crying Unicorn Candle is meant for. Check out the GIF. Seems a little dark for the kiddies' Easter baskets. Unless you think of it like, "And the unicorn cried rainbow tears of joy when it found out Jesus was risen, and the Easter Bunny had brought mad piles of Cadbury Creme Eggs and Peeps this year!

The candle might also be good for my girlfriend when she's in one of her brooding Lilith Fair moods.

The bawling creature of myth is able to do so thanks to its Roy G Biv horn / candle. The ceramic figure includes 2 tear sticks for twice the crying fun.

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The Baby Shusher

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Either the Baby Shusher shhhhhhh-ing machine is a Nobel Prize-caliber invention, or the baby in that video learned in the womb how to be an Oscar-caliber actor. Arrrgh, that sound, that wailing. I can't think of a noise...

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Earwax Candle Kit

$7.89 from Amazon »

Here comes the Earwax Candle Kit just when you thought you couldn't find the perfect gift for your mom. I don't know about yours but I know my mama loves candles, and also hates waste, and based on the number of used...

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The Baby Muzzle

$149.99 from Japan Trend Shop »

First we saw the Japanese Shouting Vase, an ABS resin stress-reliever that mutes the wails of angry or frustrated souls who need to unleash their fury without disturbing the peace. Now the brilliant minds of Japan--perhaps...

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Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud...

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WTF Prank Candles

$11.95 from WTF Prank Candles »

WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the....gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...

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Cthulhu Titanium Bottle Opener

$80 from A. Jacques »

Maybe Alex Jacques' interest in a Cthulhu bottle opener began with his interest in straight razors. The craftsman started out, and continues to forge, what he hopes you'll consider "the finest handmade straight razors...

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Kinetic Sand

It's 2.2 pounds--or what the rest of the world calls 1 kilogram--of tactile stimulation and scientific wonderment. While all sand can technically enjoy kinetic activities, Kinetic Sand claims the additional bragging rights...

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Nessie Ladle

$12.99 from Animi Causa »

She waits. She lurks. She stalks. And then suddenly, out of the depths of my 8-quart stock pot, Nessie emerges. Oh the terror! The foreboding doom! The...hey, what's the Loch Ness Monster got in tow there? Is that a ladle...

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Self-Regenerative Wax Lamp

Everyone wants to be a hard ass. The Terminator. The Regulator. The Undertaker. Chuck Norris. Where's The Do-Gooder? The Helper? The Revitalizer? Relegated to the arenas of kindergarten classrooms and home decor, that's...

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Diamond Ring Candles

$24.95 from Diamond Candles »

Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...

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Yank Me Candles

$19.95 from Amazon »

Yank Me Candles are terrific gag or white elephant gifts in the vein of WTF Prank Candles, but with a different kind of blood pulsing through them. The latter have delightful sounding names, such as Apple Pie, on the...

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Flameless Arc Lighter for Candles & BBQs

$19.97 from Amazon »

Like the slide, this flameless arc lighter is electric, so you can boogie-woogie-woogie through wind and rain, and without filling and refilling it with gas fluid. The long handle provides easier and safer access to hot...