On guard! This valiant knight is armed with the plush cotton 2-plys that will defend the honor of your innocent underwear from the nefarious infidels of your excretory orifices. I bet his pecs and delts are enormous under that armor from squeezing a roll of toilet paper 24/7 too. Handpainted resin with a pewter finish, creator Design Toscano regrets to inform buyers that the nature of a Valiant Knight Toilet paper holder restricts their ability to accept it as a return. That is, once Sir Wipes-A-Lot is exposed to fecal matter, he is yours forever.
Muchas danke to Shawn U. for the product suggestion.