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Towel Warmer

By: on September 13, 2013
$99.99
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Pshhh. I don't need no stinkin' towel warmer. What am I, some kind of frageelay flower of a man who can't take a little cold air against his balls stepping out of the shower? Now I need a heated towel to protect my body from devolving into a convulsive shiver? Wait, what's this? I can put a robe in it too? Like, uh, the Chewbacca bathrobe I wear to the store when it's 18 degrees out and I realize must have eaten my entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch after I took that Ambien last night?

Mama! How would you like to have a towel warmer for the bathroom to make stepping out of the shower less of a godawful bodily assault? I really think it will change your life, and I think it's a necessity, and most importantly, I think you deserve it, Mama!The towel warmer by Brookstone accommodates up to 2, 40" x 70" bath sheets, robes, or blankets, and heats them to full toastiness in 10 minutes. Device has auto shutoff.

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Solar-Powered Air Conditioned Bed

$388 - $776 from Aries »

The Solar AC Bed wants to make it a Bananarama cool (cool!) cool summer without draining your wallet or sucking excess power from the grid. This modular cot frame surrounds your existing bed and absorbs solar energy throughout...

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Smartduvet Breeze Heat & Cool Self-Making Bed

$199 from Smartduvet »

The Smartduvet self-making bed - no, really. The bed makes itself. Just watch. And that's old news. Smartduvet is now launching a next generation of their smart bedding, the Breeze, that adds dual-zone climate control...

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Geizeer Ice Cube Air Conditioner

$119 - $129 from Geizeer »

Make that "Geizeer Super Cheap and Eco-Friendly Ice Cube Air Conditioner." (And it's actually pronounced "Guy-zer," not "Gee-zer," even though in my head it will always be the latter.) At an operational cost of less than...

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Noria Window Air Conditioner

$299 from Noria »

Granted, when it's hotter than a dragon's undercarriage out and I'm tasked with sleeping through the night, I don't really care if the air-circulating device that makes that possible looks like Jabba the Hutt's butt crack....

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Mysseuse Self-Massager & Towel Holder

$19.99 from Amazon »

I've makeshift Mysseuse-d myself on the corner of a wall or door more times than I can count. And self-massages with devices like the Shiatsu Pillow and doohickies like the Beastie Bar have become pretty popular for kneading...

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Cat Cool Pot Bed Pet Cooling Tray

Japan Trend Shop says the Cat Cool Pot Bed "functions as both a pet bed and as fun decoration to make your cat look cute." I thought they were going to say the dish made from "cooling aluminum" functions as both a cat...

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Alligator Beach Towel Anchor Stakes

Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't know if these Beach Towel Anchor Stakes are alligators or crocodiles, but I do know they look ready to take a bite out of some terry cloth, and tell the wind to Blow it! this summer....

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The Undercover - Changing Room in a Backpack

$69 - $75 from The Undress »

The streakers, flashers, and proud displayers of crack of the world will probably take offense at The Undercover, but for the rest of us, a portable changing room that carries our change of, or changed-out-of, clothes...

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Naiad Lawn Watering Robot

Blake Johnson developed the Naiad Lawn Watering Robot concept in 2009, when he was an industrial design student asked to "Identify a problem in yard care and design a product to solve the problem." In his research Johnson...

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Sand-Free Beach Mat

$34.95 - $99.95 from Amazon »

I would like it very much if CGear's Sand-Free Multimat stayed sand-free by emitting an invisible dome barrier that repelled...no, forcefully rejected all granular compounds...and children...that got within a foot of...

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Monster Towel - World's Biggest Beach Towel

$89.95 from Amazon »

Why have a threesome when you can have a fivesome? The Monster Towel is the World's Orgy-est Beach Towel! Oh, uh, I mean, the World's Biggest Beach Towel! At least that's what the people who make the 10' x 10' Monster...

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Lasko Misto Outdoor Misting Fan

$143.35 from Amazon »

I never knew--never truly knew--what it was like to be hot--perpetually hot, like, hotter than a nun in a cucumber field all the time--until I moved in with a girl who is interminably cold. It was 94 degrees outside my...