At printing, Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers had 14 reviews on Amazon, and every single one of them contained both a serious critical analysis of the product's smell-quelling efficacy, and an insightful comment about the 5-pack of underoo inserts that has restored my faith in humans' ability to take flatulence seriously. Here is an illustrious sampling of what I learned about Subtle Butt adhesive squares and the nuisance of farting:
"I can finally pass gas in peace. I am sick of being judged for my gastrointestinal quirks. 4/5 stars only because these only last about 3-4 hours until I fart them up too much."
"I wear these when we have guests stay at our house. I have horrible gas and these work. I swear by them. They're great gag gifts too!"
"I was so sick of fussing at my hubbins because he wouldn't leave the room to fart (he thinks its hysterical) but he was seriously gagging me, no person can have that bad of gas holy crap on a cracker, I got him these and after 20min of laughing I got him to try one. I am happy to say it was a peaceful night...I heard them but I wasn't forced to smell them...Wooohooo!! Say goodbye to the forced smell of poo dust subtlebutt works...thank you!"
"I got these for my mother and she swears by them! They are a little expensive to wear everyday, but she likes them!"
"TOO FUNNY, but they actually WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got them for my mother and she LOVES them, and wants more to use."
It seemed strange to me that 2 of the 14 reviewers bought Subtle Butt Gas Neutralizers for their mothers. Do you think that's an OK thing to buy your mother? Because my mama's birthday is on Sunday, and if sphincter odor eaters qualify as an acceptable gift, it would make my job as a thoughtful son a whole lot easier.
Subtle Butt inserts are made of soft fabric treated with an antimicrobial solution. The side of the patch facing the user's underwear also contains activated carbon, which traps and knocks out unpleasant scents. Probably all day for the sporadic wind breaker, but only for about 3 to 4 hours if you're a chronic farter like the 4/5 stars guy above.