Squatty Potty - Posturally Correct Pooping
"Squatting to eliminate is healthier." Golly I love the Squatty Potty's euphemistic appeal to my sense of self-preservation. Sitting on my porcelain sidekick with my feet resting on a 9" stool, torso pitched forward approximately 35 degrees, is going to improve the efficacy of my poops. Put an end to my constipation. Alleviate my hemorrhoids. Prevent the colon disease I can just feel coming on some days, such as when I eat Taco Bell and Carl's Jr. in one sitting. The Squatty Potty is going to make me a gloriously healthier me!
That's what I hear, anyway.
The feces aficionados at Squatty Potty maintain that empirical evidence supports this assertion. They have proof that elevating one's feet during poops both large and small makes for more thorough john-based defecations, as well as renders it significantly easier to pinch one off. (Did you really think I could keep things modest and civil indefinitely?) See, when seated upright on a toilet--in a position that you and I would call normal--the anorectal angle is kinked.
Kinked anorectal angles = very bad.
Kinked anorectal angles put upward pressure on the rectum and encourage fecal tootsie rolls to stay inside. The big #2 you couldn't wait to drop off? Doing so ends up being an exercise in red-faced grunts and the begrudging retention of a couple excremental house guests. Sitting upright during elimination is like trying to poop through a bent garden hose (vivid analogy comes straight from Squatty Potty literature, not my head.)
In the squatting posture, which the Squatty Potty effortlessly emulates during use, the puborectalis muscle relaxes, and the anorectal bend straightens out. No more kinks. Plus, the pressure of thigh muscles against the lower abdomen further helps with the pushing and southward movement processes. Visually, it's akin to pooping in the woods, or like a caveman, but no one has to worry about equilibrium or poison ivy. The Squatty Potty establishes a stable platform in a sanitary environment to elevate feet and legs, encourage a forward-pitched torso, and eliminate elimination complications.
When not in use, the Squatty Potty also wraps neatly around the bottom of the toilet. Check out the diagram and video above for complete usage instructions. If you're not interested in complete usage instructions, check out this fun fact: it's Super Bowl Sunday. Today at halftime, more toilets in the world will flush simultaneously than at any other time of year. I wonder how many of those toilets will see the type of pleasant and comprehensive relief possible with a Squatty Potty.
Muchas danke to Sue S. for the Dude Product Tip.