Rubik's Cube Soap
Hey, soap that looks just like the Rubik's Cube thingy in that scene from The Pursuit of Happyness. You know, the one where Will Smith's character effortlessly twists the rainbow squares so they all match up, much to the awe of the Wall Street White Man. I didn't realize a little Hollywood movie contraption was worthy of immortalization as bathroom sink decor...wait, what? A revolutionary puzzle of the 1980s? Huh. Some old person just told me the Rubik's Cube is an actual icon of American history, re-imagined here as a grape-soda-scented bar of soap. Like anti-bacterial nostalgia or something. Old people are weird.
The 3D Rubik's masterpiece from Etsy vendor Chrystal Doucette has carved grooved shadows in black, and is covered with 54 individually applied Roy G Biv stickers that authenticate the look, and make it irresistible for all who pick it up not to try to give the hunk of glycerine a big crank. Sadly, rotation on an axis is the only way in which the Rubik's Cube soap does not mimic its plastic counterpart, but feigning confusion on this point is a great cover for what you were, uh, doing in the shower for so long.
The soap weighs 7 ounces, and, in addition to glycerine, has coconut oil, palm oil, and safflower oil as its primary ingredients. It is made to order, so shipping time may be delayed up to 3 days beyond standard estimates to accommodate its careful conception.