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One Size Fits All Toilet Seat

By: on September 22, 2013
One Size Fits All Toilet Seat

If you're elderly, overweight, pregnant, and suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, the Adjustable Advantage Toilet Seat was designed just for you! As a matter of fact, if any single one of the above descriptors applies to you, this swiveling bathroom butt support could remove the hassle and discomfort that normally accompany your use of the john. Unless, of course, you're there because you ate Taco Bell. Even an adjustable toilet seat cannot assuage the repercussions of very bad decisions.

A 75-year-old, 285-pound man created the Adjustable Advantage toilet seat when he began having trouble tending to his own personal hygiene. Its benefits, not only to him, but to others with either similar or comparable issues, led to the seat's commercial production. Its arms flare outward to provide up to 12" of additional support to people with appreciable quantities of junk in the trunk, as well as those with sciatic nerve problems, GI issues, and back and butt sensitivities resulting from pregnancy. Other widened throne features include:

  • Both elongated and round toilet bowl fit, with hinges engineered for smooth action and no pinch points.
  • A height of 1-1/2" above the toilet rim in the front, and 3" in the rear, for a sloped angle and contour intended to improve posture and increase blood flow.
  • Solid polypropylene composition, and weight of 5 pounds. The Adjustable Advantage toilet seat claims years of durability and use, and backs its words with a Lifetime Warranty.
  • A set of 6 bumpers, each measuring over 2 1/2" wide, for a total of over 12 square inches of weight-distributing support. Total load capacity is 1,000 pounds, even when fully expanded. In fact, the Adjustable Advantage people further note that your toilet is more likely to break from a big fat fatty sitting on it than their seat is.

My two cents is that an Adjustable Advantage could also be a nice male alternative to lifting the seat, as well as a way for folks like myself who occasionally get bludgeoned by life disguised as tequila to stabilize and support themselves as they barf up everything they've ingested since the Clinton administration.