Mr. T Strong Man Toilet Paper Holder
Add a pot-bellied weightlifter to the long and distinguished list of accessories available to facilitate man's wiping of his ass. Mr T heaves overhead a barbell stacked with toilet paper both to inspire us while on the john, and save us from embarrassing brown spots once we get off. Even if you've already made the switch to Shittens as your preferred method of de-soiling, Mr T would be happy just to hang out as a bathroom buddy on the countertop or windowsill. He'd probably even prefer it, as I overheard him complaining to the plunger the other day about how people always unravel from only one roll at a time, or occasionally empty and remove a roll entirely, which leaves him uncomfortably unbalanced. He said it's totally F'd the symmetry his right and left delts and upper traps.