177

Carbon Fiber Toilet Seat

By: on April 01, 2014
$299.95
Check It Out

A gold toilet seat: ostentatious. Indulgent. Ridiculous. A carbon fiber toilet seat: inconspicuous. Practical. Awesome. It's not an extravagance, it's...it's...well, I mean you need a toilet seat, right? And you need to treat yourself every now and then, right? So why treat yourself to an ass cradler made of carbon fiber? It's light. Easy lift-up and put-down. It's beautiful. Obviously. And it's black. It won't show spots and splashes. You can go from cleaning your toilet once a month to cleaning it, like, once a year. Why not treat yourself to a carbon fiber toilet seat?

Carbon Fiber Gear's porcelain god lid is made of hand-layered, 550,000 psi tensile carbon fiber applied around a pre-molded foam core (as opposed to wood) to maintain the material's trademark lightness. The carbon fiber features a 2 x 2 twill pattern, which CFG claims looks swell in photos, but gets its true justice only when held in one's hands. Hopefully anyone who buys the toilet seat will hold it in his or her hands only once prior to use.

The carbon fiber toilet seat fits standard-sized toilets and comes with mounting hardware. It weights 2 pounds, 11 ounces.

Due to the product's nature, all sales are final. Heh.

Buy Now

TUMI CFX Southington Carbon Fiber Backpack

$1,100 from Amazon »

It's not bulletproof, but TUMI's Southington Backpack does have a carbon fiber construction and ID Lock features strong enough to protect your tech and gear from the dangers of the daily commute....

Buy Now

PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger

$15.98 from Amazon »

To truly get how the PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger works, you've got to watch the video. Granted, it's not the best quality, and if you're like me you'll get a little caught up on, How many times is that dude...

Check it out

Carbon Fiber Daggers

$78 - $99 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

The Escort series of carbon fiber daggers is not meant for cutting. It's meant for stabbing. That statement did not even stem from my powers of deduction, but directly from the manufacturer's literature. Aerospace grade...

Buy Now

The Odorless Toilet Fan

$169.95 from Amazon »

The Odorless Toilet Fan claims to be "the #1 way to eliminate #2 odor." The unit installs inside your toilet tank to inhale all the foul-smelling air your bowel movements produce so you don't have to....

Check it out

Carbon Fiber Fanny Pack

$249 from Common Fibers »

Common Fibers knows carbon fiber. Common Fibers knows the 1980s. And one look at the The Coolest Fanny--aka The Manny Pack--aka The CF2--and you know Common Fibers. Knows. Men. I for one have never wanted anything so...

Buy Now

Dude Wipes

$8.83 from Amazon »

Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...

Check it out

Hammock Bathtub

Usually when people describe themselves they inflate the truth or do that reverse psychology trick where they say a bunch of self-deprecating things in an effort to convey the opposite meaning. In both cases they would...

Check it out

Stetson Carbon Fiber Fedora

Know when I could have used a carbon fiber fedora? Nope, that's not a question dripping in sarcasm whose answer is "Never." I really could have used a carbon fiber fedora last week when my girlfriend dragged me to some...

Buy Now

Carbon Fiber Race Track Drink Coaster Set

$59.99 from Amazon »

These Carbon Fiber Race Track Drink Coasters are light, fast, and slick. Which is exactly what I myself am going to be long about the 6th beer I set on one of them this 4th of July weekend....

Buy Now

Squatty Potty - Posturally Correct Pooping

$24.99 from Amazon »

"Squatting to eliminate is healthier." Golly I love the Squatty Potty's euphemistic appeal to my sense of self-preservation. Sitting on my porcelain sidekick with my feet resting on a 9" stool, torso pitched forward approximately...

Check it out

The Shit Box

$22 from Firebox.com »

For some, the rush of peace and relaxation associated with smoking marijuana are unparalleled. So when innovative people who are desperate to toke out find themselves without a prefabricated bong or pipe, they improvise...

Buy Now

TravelJohn Disposable Personal Urinals

$12.47 from Amazon »

TravelJohn Disposable Urinals are for everyone who's gotta go. Just look at the box. Men, women, and children alike with knees knocking, thighs constricting, and hands holding on tight can take relief in taking a whizz...