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Black Toilet Paper

By: on October 11, 2013
  • Black Toilet Paper
  • Black Toilet Paper
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This black toilet paper looks like the streamers my mama used to hang up in our kitchen for Halloween or when someone died. I hope the two don't feel similar tidying up my nether regions.

According to manufacturer Renova, black TP is "the ultimate in luxury tissue." It also comes in other colors, such as blue, orange, lime green, and fuchsia, but why waste your time trying them? You know what's going to happen once you go black....

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PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger

$15.98 from Amazon »

To truly get how the PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger works, you've got to watch the video. Granted, it's not the best quality, and if you're like me you'll get a little caught up on, How many times is that dude...

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The Odorless Toilet Fan

$169.95 from Amazon »

The Odorless Toilet Fan claims to be "the #1 way to eliminate #2 odor." The unit installs inside your toilet tank to inhale all the foul-smelling air your bowel movements produce so you don't have to....

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Dude Wipes

$8.83 from Amazon »

Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...

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Squatty Potty - Posturally Correct Pooping

$24.99 from Amazon »

"Squatting to eliminate is healthier." Golly I love the Squatty Potty's euphemistic appeal to my sense of self-preservation. Sitting on my porcelain sidekick with my feet resting on a 9" stool, torso pitched forward approximately...

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The Shit Box

$22 from Firebox.com »

For some, the rush of peace and relaxation associated with smoking marijuana are unparalleled. So when innovative people who are desperate to toke out find themselves without a prefabricated bong or pipe, they improvise...

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TravelJohn Disposable Personal Urinals

$12.47 from Amazon »

TravelJohn Disposable Urinals are for everyone who's gotta go. Just look at the box. Men, women, and children alike with knees knocking, thighs constricting, and hands holding on tight can take relief in taking a whizz...

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Poo-Pourri Master Crapsman Gift Set

$17.95 from Amazon »

Poo-Pourri, the spritz-before-you-shitz toilet spray, has put together several stench-fighting 2-packs ripe for the giving spirit of the holiday season. Since most of us around here are both dudes and fans of Punderdome...

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Iron Dinosaur Toilet Paper Holder

$23.99 from Amazon »

Got some Charmin t.p. or some Bounty p.t.'s you need held up long and proud? The Iron Dinosaur is at your service. Suitable for holding 2 ultra-plush double rolls of toilet paper or 1 super-absorbent cylinder of paper...

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NightGlow Toilet Seat

$49.99 from NightGlow »

NightGlow Toilet Seats don't just preclude black-of-night stubbed toes and Awww, F me morningtime cleanup requirements, they transform your excretory system's best inorganic buddy into an exhilarating pee-themed arcade!...

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Touchless Toilet Flush Kit

$39.99 from Amazon »

I'm not a germophobe, but I am incredibly lazy. And a kit that retrofits my standard toilet with a touchless, auto-flush mechanism means no more bending over! No more holding the handle down! No more jiggling it to make...

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Carbon Fiber Toilet Seat

$299.95 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

A gold toilet seat: ostentatious. Indulgent. Ridiculous. A carbon fiber toilet seat: inconspicuous. Practical. Awesome. It's not an extravagance, it's...it's...well, I mean you need a toilet seat, right? And you need...

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Glowing Toilet Paper

$9.90 from Amazon »

Who could use a radioactive mummy costume for Halloween? An exclamation point on your next toilet-tissue-themed prank? A beacon lighting the way to your Shit Box?...