66

Baby Foot Human Molting Peel

By: on July 01, 2016
$25
Check It Out

I don't know what medieval witch magic Baby Foot puts in their Exfoliant Foot Peel to produce the skin-molting effects you see before you but, even though it would make perfect sense here, I promise you it's not snake oil. Have a look at the ingredient list yourself. My girlfriend says two near the top, lactic acid and glycolic acid, usually show up in her face peels, but...damn. If her face peeled off like that I'd tell her to go back to Jaqen.

Whatever Baby Foot brews in their solution that, 5 to 7 days after you apply it, makes all the dead skin on your feet peel off in sheets, it seems to be no joke, and no exaggeration. There are literally thousands of reviews of this foot beautifier, from all kinds of men and women, and dozens of customer photos showing sickly fascinating individual results.

The downside to Baby Foot--I mean, aside from the fact that you're going to have grody snake feet for up to 14 days once it takes effect--is that it requires precious time and dedication to reveal the pink infant skin beneath your calluses and cracked heels. On application day, you'll have to soak your feet in warm water for 15 to 30 minutes, and then put on the goo-filled Baby Foot booties for an hour. Baby Foot instructions conclude with washing off the exfoliant and then countin' down the days 'til the skin harvest begins! But reviewers say you'll get much better results (i.e., thicker sheaths of dead epidermis falling off your feet) if you continue to soak your feet in warm water for 30 to 60 minutes every day or every other day for the next two weeks.

In sum, Baby Foot sounds weird and gross and looks like a flesh-eating disease. And I want some.

Check it out

NakeFit Stick-On Shoes

$33 from Nakefit »

NakeFit stick-on shoes - or, to be more precise, NakeFit hypoallergenic adhesive pads - remind me of when I'm walking barefoot and start to feel like something's stuck to my heel, but I'm loath to look down because I...

Buy Now

Toe Separator Socks for Alignment & Relief

$9.99 from Amazon »

Mmm, spread those sexy toes wide! Not just for my benefit, but for your own. Whether you're into yoga, promoting blood circulation and relieving foot pain after a workout, or slowing down the growth of your bunion, the...

Buy Now

5-Toe Flip-Flops

$12.96 - $19.99 from Amazon »

These 5-toe flip-flops are made by Sazzi, and I know I sure can't think of a better word to describe them. Made with 10 separate, articulating toe platforms and a post (i.e., thong, tha-thong, thong, thong) to cordon...

Check it out

NavoPed Self-Walking Shoes

Want to pimp out your feet Google-style*? To avoid unpleasant collisions with other pedestrians, telephone poles, and public fountains that just came up out of frikkin' nowhere? To slap on your sneakers and never look...

Buy Now

Fleshlight's Sleeve Warmer (NSFW)

$29.95 from Amazon »

Wait, so there's an alternative to just blowing in it first? This cutting-edge piece of technology from Fleshlight may look like a sex toy for your girlfriend, but it's actually a pleasure enhancement tool for you. The...

Buy Now

Foot Hammock

$10.99 from Amazon »

Well, it's no recliner. And it's no foot massage. And it's no having a lady wash your feet and cut your toenails and cuticles as you sit in one of those vibrating chairs at a nail salon...uh...so I've heard.... But the...

Buy Now

Forsvarets Hudsalva Swedish Military Balm

$8 from Amazon »

Yesterday I showed you Fatworks, tasty animal fat you can use to cook. Today I bring you Forsvarets Hudsalva, soothing vegetable fat you can use to fix up your lips chapped from drooling and smacking at the sight of duck...

Buy Now

Pelamatic Fruit & Vegetable Peeler

$149.99 from Amazon »

The orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'til aaaallll the ughbittergrossblechblechblech white stuff...

Buy Now

Microwaveable Slippers

$19.80 from Amazon »

Slippers. The most no-fail gift ever. Especially when you can stick them in the microwave to make them magnificently warm and cozy. And especially when they're extra plush and soft to the touch. And especially, especially...

Buy Now

Kkika Rotating Acupressure Slippers

$22.95 from Amazon »

No pain, no gain, right? More precisely, in the world of acupressure and Kkika's Rotating Acupressure Slippers, it's no pain, no relief of pain....

Check it out

Dry Shower Powder

You can give your dog a bath without getting him wet. Why can't you do the same for yourself? (Without dousing yourself in patchouli, hippies.) While not a substitution for bathing altogether, Dry Shower Powder does provide...

Buy Now

Tanda Zap Acne Clearing Device

$10.81 from Amazon »

Merry Christmas, fix your face. Heh. I think giving someone the "gift" of a Tanda Zap acne clearer is kind of like giving them a treadmill or some Beachbody workout DVDs. More of a gift for you than for them. But. It...