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Wine Barrel Bottle Tower

By: on November 26, 2012
$75
from
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From barrel to bottle...and back to barrel again. Jonathan January's Reclaimed Barrel Wine Towers even make bottles of Two Buck Chuck look hip and spiffy and like a product that came from actual grapes! The hovering oeno-presentation extends from the stave of a repurposed French wine barrel, and grasps up to five bottles 'round the neck in its neatly drilled holes. Mounting can be done directly over drywall--no stud location necessary--and included decorative mounting screws match the buyer's choice of a matte black or matte raw steel bracket. The tower measures 40" from end to end.

Apparently, storing wine bottles horizontally doesn't just look cool, it serves the purpose of maintaining cork-wine contact, and eliminates the potential for wine oxygenation from the layer of air that would otherwise rest between them. So put that one in your back pocket for the next time you need to pull something out of it for use in impressing a hot chick who also seems to be somewhat intelligent. And here's another one: the acid in white wine breaks down the fat in cheese and other dairy...and presumably other fatty...products. That means drinking white wine with Edam and Brie and Velveeta will preclude your feeling (looking/sounding/smelling) like a bloated fart machine 30 minutes later when you're regaling the hot, somewhat intelligent chick with your wine savviness.

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Aura Glass - Spill Resistant Aerating Glassware

$59.95 from Aura Glass »

Since most of us spin and swish our glasses of wine and whiskey to aerate them anyway, Aura Glass has come up with a (mighty fine looking, I must say) way to do it without sloshing the wine and whiskey all over the table....

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The Don Vino Wine Table

$3,500 - $5k from Chicone »

I'm crowning the Don Vino Wine Table "The Godfather of Wine Storage." Not just because creator Chicone Cabinetmakers has given it the Italian Don honor, but also because it is a unique, classy, and dually functional piece...

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Titanium & Jack Daniels Barrel Ring

$245 - $345 from Etsy »

I guess I've been in a serious relationship with Jack Daniels for long enough now that I'm willing to don his ring and announce it to the world. Especially a ring as slick as this one. Check out the genuine used JD white...

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Cabidor Door Storage Cabinet

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Behind Door #1 we have...a full-length pantry of Combos and Cap'n Crunch! And Behind Door #1-1/2 we have...a dozen classic NES cartridges, a coupla Koosh balls, and VHS cassettes of the best porn from my childhood (circa...

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Ullo Sulfite Remover & Wine Aerator

$79.95 from Wine Enthusiast »

But Ullo, the best part about a night of free-flowing bottles of cheap red wine is the cranial eruption I feel building in my sinuses the next morning! Why would I want to filter out the sulfites responsible for it*?...

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Pit Barrel Cooker

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The Pit Barrel Cooker is like a smoker mashed with a Crock Pot mashed with a 55-gallon barrel of lube. Minus the lube. The self-described "vertical cooking experience" says it will heat and flavor perfect hunks of meat...

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Don't Break the Bottle Wine Puzzle

$17.94 from Amazon »

Oh, Dad. You're such a sage. A simultaneous student and master of life. Willing pawn of the golf course, declared slave to the fishing pole. A magnate at the office, a maestro on the grill. Cigar aficionado, connoisseur...

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Sciabola del Sommelier - Champagne Sabres

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Great. I'm gonna have to start drinking white and pink bubble wine. Because hacking off bottle necks with a Champagne Sabre is the only way my girlfriend's ever going to agree to let me wield a sword around the house....

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Ship in a Bourbon Barrel Decanter

$129.99 from Amazon »

Sloshed at sea, awash in a swell of liquor. It doesn't sound that nice when you say it, but this hand-blown decanter giving a whiskey barrel spin to the class ship in a bottle sure looks pretty alright....

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Bam Vino Wine & Liquor Bottle Holders

$29.97 - $73.09 from Amazon »

Even if your Bam Vino is wearing the cap of your favorite MLB team, it's OK to pray for a swing and a miss when the bat's your $300 bottle of Richebourg Grand Cru. Or, if you're not into wine, this baseball player bust...

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Revolution Sideways Wine Glasses

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What's nice about the Revolution wine glass being turned on its side is that it makes it easy for someone else to hold the stem and feed me more wine, or whiskey, when I'm too incapacitated to do it myself. Oh no wait...

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2-Person Canopy Barrel Sauna

$3,479 from Amazon »

Ahhh, a sauna that I don't have to share with half a dozen other sprawled out and sweaty dudes at the gym (dudes who, counterintuitively to the entire point of a sauna, insist on playing games and music on their phones...