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Shark Cocktail Shaker

By: on April 07, 2015

You better have giant hands, a solid grip, and no fear to mix up a margarita in this savage of the sea. Not only is the Shark Cocktail Shaker fashioned in the whole-body likeness of a behemoth great white, but it also looks like it's only scaled down to about a third of the size of one. See it grinning on the tray next to those tumblers? It could pretty much eat all of them in one bite. Your fingers too if you agitate it at the wrong time, or try to fill it with something pink. I bet it's even made of lead and weighs 54 pounds.

Mmmm...nope. Pottery Barn blurb says the shark is made of aluminum. And the shaker of stainless steel. The whole apparatus is still pretty monstrous though, at 16" wide x 5-1/2" deep x 8" high, and will definitely attack anyone who starts drowning in their booze. Capacity is the standard 20 ounces.

I'll take a sharktini, Miss Moneypenny. Shaken, not stirred.

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The Shark Buggy

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Sharkini Swimsuit

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Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to...

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Animatronic Shark Costume

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Seabob, an animatronic shark costume visual effects designers VFXLAB recently took for a test swim in the San Bernardino Doubletree Hotel pool, is many things. Funny, a good prank, and a way for my friend Cornelius to...

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Alchemix Liquor Infuser & Carbonator

$79 from Alchemix »

Alchemix hopes to shake up the shaker scene amongst mixologists and enthusiastic cocktail imbib-ologists alike with their Kickstarter campaign for a drank maker that infuses and/or carbonates your liquor and mixers in...

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Shark Hologram LED Night Light Lamp

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If they'd given Joseph an Amazing Technicolor Dream Shark instead of a Dream Coat, this holographic LED lamp is probably what it would have looked like. It would've been a way better gift too--I bet Joseph's brothers...

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The Sharkalope

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The dudes at Zombie Tools call their new Sharkalope knife "an unholy confusion of genetics." I love the dudes at Zombie Tools. I hate them too. Because not only are they way better at their job of forging apocalyptic...

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Shark Repellent Grenade

$16 from Amazon »

Surfers, SCUBA divers, mermaids, and baby seals now have a means of deterring the Ultimate Dread. Thwarting the very reason some break a sweat at the mere mention of the ocean. These here grenades contain a highly calibrated...

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Exotic Predator Jerky Gift Pack

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Now this is the kind of snake bite I'll take any day: the one where I'm on the delivering end, and the python recipient is covered in teriyaki sauce, kissed with brown sugar, and dried with a touch of liquid smoke. The...

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Though not always as deadly as they seem, let's face it, babies are predators. Sharks in sheep's clothing. Seconds away from their next tantrum. Ready. Waiting.... to ruin your life. So let's not pretend we like them...

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Shark Fin Dog Life Jacket

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This shark won't take a bite out of your leg, but get too close and he'll probably lick and hump it. How clever. A shark life preserver for your pooch. He might hate wearing it, but the full-body flotation vest will keep...

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Shark Repellent Rash Guard

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Though most people would probably rather get burnt by the sun than bitten by a shark, both injuries are pretty bad these days. Take your pick on which one leads to a slow, tortuous death, or having flesh ripped away from...