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Sasquatch Cocktail Shaker

By: on April 28, 2013
Sasquatch Cocktail Shaker
$49.95
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How do you feel about Home Wet Bar's decision to incorporate attributes of a mythic beast of the forests into one of their cocktail shakers? Right. The same as you'd feel about getting a full-body rubdown from Angelina Jolie: stoked and in like Flynn, yet moderately intimidated to slightly scared and doubtful of your ability to handle it. The Sasquatch Cocktail Shaker is a drink peddler of formidable size intended either to be approached strategically by a group of 10 men, or faced bravely by a lone man with balls the size of Chuck Norris. Note: I did not say balls the size of Chuck Norris' balls. Because I mean balls the size of the entirety of Chuck Norris. Here is a list of the beings on earth who I believe could handle the 110 ounces of Sasquatch Cocktail Shaker contents:

  • Sasquatch.
  • Jon "Bones" Jones. That guy is the mack. Dude almost ripped his toe off during Round 1 of his April 27 MMA victory over Chael Sonnen and just kept on pounding to TKO. (Blurry, somewhat disturbing video of it here.)
  • Chuck Norris. Because if you really think about it, Chuck Norris and his balls are probably the exact same size.

The Sasquatch Cocktail Shaker is made of stainless steel and functions fully with a built-in strainer even in its engorged, 15-1/2"-tall state.