58

Bleeding Zombie Clown Target

By: on November 24, 2012
$110
Check It Out

The original Tactical Bleeding Zombie Target provides hours of strategic and graphic training for ZDay vigilantes, but until now, shooting practice accessories did little for those who hate both zombies and clowns. Which is why we're proud to announce the release of Bobo the Zombie Clown, a next-generation, life-sized zombie target that bleeds (biodegradable zombie matter that also serves as a soil fertilizer) when you blast him with your Portable Survival Rifle.

Like most clowns, Bobo's story is a sad one. Broke and miserly, he was partial to costume acquisition from a particular paint factory dumpster. Thinking he'd scored with a couple of discarded tubes of glowing green makeup, Bobo generously applied the slightly moldy matter to his face, neck, arms--everywhere really, as coverage of small area seemed to ignite the paint and allow it to spread on its own. This was terrific! Because in addition to cheap, Bobo was also lazy. Before he knew it, his entire body shone a luminous hue not unlike his paranormal idol. Unfortunately, this was due to the paint's dense concentration of Zomaldehyde, which permeated his pores within 10 minutes, and then made a beeline for his bloodstream. Brain dead within seconds thereafter, but preserved system-wide due to the Zomaldehyde, Bobo's trek through the fringes of life as a moaning undead clown began.

The only redeeming aspect of Bobo's sad, sad story is that it's about to make Zombie Industries a shit ton of money as they sell his likeness to undead- and circus-performer-hating sharp shooters for target practice. Bobo comes with mounting equipment and is reusable for 1,000+ assorted rounds before he stops bleeding...and starts fighting back.

Mwahahahaha!

Check it out

Micro BB Crossbow

Discontinued

Why doesn't my Cubicle Warfare book include a chapter on How to Build a Micro BB Crossbow? Not that I wouldn't get fired for using it at the office. But we've had these "productivity enhancement strategy consultants"...

Check it out

Flayed Flesh Garters

Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

Check it out

Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle

$39.69 from Firebox.com »

This is an Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. If you've seen stranger things - say, Taxidermy Animal Drones or Edible Anus Chocolates - it probably won't bother you. And if you've seen Stranger Things, you'll probably love it....

Check it out

Compact Folding Survival Bow

The Compact Folding Survival Bow, or CFSB-1 for the acronym happy (I think the "1" indicates it's #1 in the world, like America or Megan Fox in a Supergirl outfit), is a patent-pending one-piece takedown bow milled from...

Check it out

Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

Buy Now

Cereal Killer Bowl

$26 from Amazon »

Decimate the Froot Loops, eradicate the Frosted Flakes, eliminate all traces of Trix with the Cereal Killer Bowl. Those Charms may be Lucky before the box is opened, but once once they hit your Dexter-approved bowl, it's...

Buy Now

Giant Inflatable Soccer Dartboard

$1,899 from Amazon »

Socc'er in the bullseye, kid. This giant inflatable soccer dartboard might not be as spooky as a 12' inflatable animated spider for the Halloween party, but it will hold all the boys' and girls' - and their parents' -...

Check it out

ShotGlass Rifle Shooting Glasses

$995 from TrackingPoint »

Last year TrackingPoint's smart rifle system, the PGF, got a lot of attention. It also got a lot of skepticism and just about as much heat as it packs. Now the Precision Guided Firearm is getting a little Google Glass-ish...

Buy Now

Throwing Knives & Board

$32.13 from Amazon »

Beer : darts : : whiskey : ... throwing knives! Up your bar game bravado with this throwing knife set. It includes 3 each of black Player 1 and silver Player 2 blades. The knives measure 8" overall and are made of stainless...

Buy Now

Laser Slingshot

$99 from Amazon »

If you're looking for more than a ping! from your slingshot, check out this golden wonder from Assolar*. At a hefty 30+ ounces, this hunting tool comes equipped with a battery-powered laser sight that beams right and...

Check it out

The Hammer Slingshot / Slingbow

$99.98 from Simpleshot »

Archers, bowhunters, bowfishers, people who like to sling mud get one tool for all their firing needs in The Hammer. This slingshot /slingbow invites sportsmen to practice multiple shooting disciplines using its adjustable...

Check it out

Tactical Bleeding Zombie Target

$89.95 from Zombie Industries »

Target practice with human targets seems so cruel (although practical since most of the time it's other people that are getting shot). Why not practice drilling holes in things that are already dead and will probably...