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Bleeding Zombie Clown Target

By: on November 24, 2012
$95.99
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The original Tactical Bleeding Zombie Target provides hours of strategic and graphic training for ZDay vigilantes, but until now, shooting practice accessories did little for those who hate both zombies and clowns. Which is why we're proud to announce the release of Bobo the Zombie Clown, a next-generation, life-sized zombie target that bleeds (biodegradable zombie matter that also serves as a soil fertilizer) when you blast him with your Portable Survival Rifle.

Like most clowns, Bobo's story is a sad one. Broke and miserly, he was partial to costume acquisition from a particular paint factory dumpster. Thinking he'd scored with a couple of discarded tubes of glowing green makeup, Bobo generously applied the slightly moldy matter to his face, neck, arms--everywhere really, as coverage of small area seemed to ignite the paint and allow it to spread on its own. This was terrific! Because in addition to cheap, Bobo was also lazy. Before he knew it, his entire body shone a luminous hue not unlike his paranormal idol. Unfortunately, this was due to the paint's dense concentration of Zomaldehyde, which permeated his pores within 10 minutes, and then made a beeline for his bloodstream. Brain dead within seconds thereafter, but preserved system-wide due to the Zomaldehyde, Bobo's trek through the fringes of life as a moaning undead clown began.

The only redeeming aspect of Bobo's sad, sad story is that it's about to make Zombie Industries a shit ton of money as they sell his likeness to undead- and circus-performer-hating sharp shooters for target practice. Bobo comes with mounting equipment and is reusable for 1,000+ assorted rounds before he stops bleeding...and starts fighting back.

Mwahahahaha!

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Micro BB Crossbow

Discontinued

Why doesn't my Cubicle Warfare book include a chapter on How to Build a Micro BB Crossbow? Not that I wouldn't get fired for using it at the office. But we've had these "productivity enhancement strategy consultants"...

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Flayed Flesh Garters

Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

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Compact Folding Survival Bow

The Compact Folding Survival Bow, or CFSB-1 for the acronym happy (I think the "1" indicates it's #1 in the world, like America or Megan Fox in a Supergirl outfit), is a patent-pending one-piece takedown bow milled from...

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Laser Slingshot

$99 from Amazon »

If you're looking for more than a ping! from your slingshot, check out this golden wonder from Assolar*. At a hefty 30+ ounces, this hunting tool comes equipped with a battery-powered laser sight that beams right and...

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Throwing Knives & Board

$32.13 from Amazon »

Beer : darts : : whiskey : ... throwing knives! Up your bar game bravado with this throwing knife set. It includes 3 each of black Player 1 and silver Player 2 blades. The knives measure 8" overall and are made of stainless...

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ShotGlass Rifle Shooting Glasses

$995 from TrackingPoint »

Last year TrackingPoint's smart rifle system, the PGF, got a lot of attention. It also got a lot of skepticism and just about as much heat as it packs. Now the Precision Guided Firearm is getting a little Google Glass-ish...

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The Hammer Slingshot / Slingbow

$99.98 from Simpleshot »

Archers, bowhunters, bowfishers, people who like to sling mud get one tool for all their firing needs in The Hammer. This slingshot /slingbow invites sportsmen to practice multiple shooting disciplines using its adjustable...

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Tactical Bleeding Zombie Target

$89.95 from Zombie Industries »

Target practice with human targets seems so cruel (although practical since most of the time it's other people that are getting shot). Why not practice drilling holes in things that are already dead and will probably...

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Unzipped Flesh Kit

$3.67 from Amazon »

One way to make others jump out of their skin is to jump out of yours. This Unzipped Flesh look requires some legwork and talent to pull off, but look at the striking levels of gruesomeness and morbidity one can achieve...

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The Dark Knight Joker & Henchmen Masks

Discontinued

I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger. Looking for the perfect 6-pack of demented criminal masks this Halloween? Ministry of Masks has put together this set of replica masks depicting the Joker...

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DoctorKote Ballistics Gel Targets

$25 - $35 from Doctor Kote »

While it's complete blasphemy and should be grounds for long-term imprisonment to shoot at R2-D2 and Han Solo (while the poor bastard is frozen in Carbonite!) the Stormtrooper and LEGO man versions of DoctorKote's FBI-grade...

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Boo-Boos Gory Bandages

I'll see your kiss it and make it better and raise you a gasp, gag, and vomit up my corn dog and curly fries. Designer, inventor, and gore master Sherwood Forlee makes Boo-Boos, adhesive bandages that will help make your...