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Monday, December 24, 2012
Custom Made Lightsabers
$129 - $499 from Etsy »

Be advised: Although Phillip Isherwood's custom crafted lightsabers blaze LED spectral force fields of green, red, or blue and arrive with 36" long polycarbonate blades designed for full speed, full contact dueling, he wants to be clear more...

Sunday, March 18, 2012
Double Barrel Pistol

The AF2011-A1 Double Barrel Pistol is a first on two counts. It's the first ever double barrel semiautomatic pistol manufactured for sale (not available yet, but on deck for Fall 2012). And, after getting a load of the "Twenty Eleven's" more...

Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Shock & Awe Zombie Killer Knife
$19.95 from Amazon »

If you missed out on the Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe, console...and arm...and shock & awe yourself with this sick little zombie killing knife. Combining the functionality of a kitchen cleaver and the intimidating aesthetics of an Inuit ulu knife, the tool does more than just look pretty on your shelf and in your fantasies of shedding the blood of the undead. It is also suitable for heavy-duty more...

Thursday, February 23, 2012
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit
Sold Out from Amazon »

Are you prepared to fight for the survival and integrity of family, friends, and the human race in apocalyptic combat with the ambulatory dead? In other words, do you want to buy a 7-piece set of gut-ripping knives and sick machetes? more...

Sunday, February 24, 2013
Brite Strike Tactical Balls
$53.33 from Amazon »

Disorienting, blinding, and giving people seizures all serve as excellent forms of distraction during attempts at self-defense and ploys to make off with the $80 giant peanut butter cup cake. Brite Strike's Tactical Balls each have more...

Sunday, August 19, 2012
Portable Survival Rifle

"Don't leave civilization without one." It's the motto of the US Survival AR-7, a semi-automatic portable rifle that weighs a mere 3-1/2 pounds and measures in at 16-1/2" long when broken down and stowed in its waterproof stock. US Air Force pilots have been toting AR-7s since 1959, keeping them tidily stowed in cargo compartments, ready for easy access should they need to punch out over a remote more...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sap Cap - Weaponized Baseball Hat
$19.99 from Amazon »

Unassuming. Low-profile. Comfortable. Able to shatter wrist bones. Just the combination of qualities I've been looking for in a baseball hat. The Sap Cap takes traditional headwear to the covert weapon level with its pellet-filled back more...

Saturday, April 13, 2013
Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe
Discontinued

Blacksmith Stephen Heeney designed and welded this chain link axe himself. He does not recommend using it to chop wood. He recommends using it to hack the ever loving viral entrails and decaying brain matter out of zombies. When they more...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
Apocalypse Tactical Tomahawk
$36.27 from Amazon »

This is what I have to say about the Apocalypse Tactical Tomahawk: sometimes, God does man a favor. Such as when He allows him to conceive and actualize pasties. Two nights in a row now, I've attended functions that randomly busted more...

Sunday, May 13, 2012
Aliens M41A Pulse Rifle - Fully Functional
$1,795 from Etsy »

You look at the replica M41A Pulse Rifle from Aliens, its fully adjustable metal stock and removable magazine, and wonder, Is it real? It looks real. It's the right shape. It's...huge...definitely the right size. It moves naturally--the more...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, March 08, 2012
Jagdkommando Knife
Sold Out from Amazon »

If you're looking to stab someone in the back, knife them in the heart, or just royally screw them over, Microtech's MCT1057 Jagdkommando fixed blade knife is the definitive way to do it. A version of the manufacturer's Marfione custom more...

Monday, February 04, 2013
Carbon Fiber Daggers
$65 - $85 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

The Escort series of carbon fiber daggers is not meant for cutting. It's meant for stabbing. That statement did not even stem from my powers of deduction, but directly from the manufacturer's literature. Aerospace grade woven and uni-directional more...

Monday, July 16, 2012
Z.E.R.O. - Zombie Apocalypse Kit
$23,999 from Optics Planet »

OK, zombiologists, conspiracy theorists, slaves to sci-fi, and keepers of the Boy Scout motto, it's time to put your $24,000 where your mouth is. OpticsPlanet has assembled a stunning and formidable sprawl of zombie apocalypse survival more...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Pocket Artillery
$34 from Amazon »

This, unbelievably, is exactly what the name suggests, a mini desktop cannon that fires standard BBs. And, it's pretty damn cool. You really need to watch the video to see it in action. I'm certain this will be used for nefarious purposes, more...

Saturday, January 28, 2012
Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun
$49.99 from Amazon »

When it comes to delivery method, punching someone in the face has three tiers of awesome: 1) Bare fist; 2) Fist coated in brass knuckles; 3) Fist coated in brass knuckles juiced up to deliver 950,000 volts of blue lightning upon impact. more...

Friday, April 06, 2012
Super Shorty Shotgun
$705 from Serbu Firearms »

The Super Shorty Shotgun is based on a Mossberg Maverick 12-gauge, and, at an additional cost, is also available in models Mossberg 500, Remington 870, and Lil' Kim. Factory-fabricated with a pistol grip, the Super Shorty is a member more...

Monday, April 08, 2013
Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella
$119 - $199.95 from Amazon »

Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable Umbrella holds more...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
ZDay Blades & Bludgeons
$75 - $945 from Etsy »

In the words of the great Missy Elliott's lyrical masterpiece "Ching-A-Ling", "This is serious maaannnn!" Etsy vendor ZDay Survivor's extensive collection of hand-chiseled, zombie-eradicating blades and bludgeons don't just hold front more...

Thursday, October 11, 2012
Self Defense Shoelace Inserts
$11.12 from Amazon »

Fury's Tactical Kuba-Kickz is a lightweight plastic, spiked insert that fits between the weave of shoelaces and serves as a--how do you say?--balls-on accurate, devastatingly effective, though non-lethal self defense tool. This seems more...

Saturday, February 04, 2012
Brutus the Bulldog Self Defense Keychain
$7.95 from Amazon »

Add some extra spice to your knuckle sandwich. On a typical day, Brutus the Bulldog simply tricks out the keys to your Honda Civic. But on the day you leave the Civic at home, and get jumped walking home from the bar, Brutus' eyes transform more...

Friday, December 23, 2011
Tactical Bleeding Zombie Target
Sold Out from Amazon »

Target practice with human targets seems so cruel (although practical since most of the time it's other people that are getting shot). Why not practice drilling holes in things that are already dead and will probably at some point rise more...

Thursday, September 20, 2012
Railroad Spike Knives
$48 from Etsy »

Blacksmith Jeremy Duke has four things to say about his Railroad Spike Knives. They are 1) forged for our pleasure and 2) predominantly novelty items, but 3) can be used to F someone up as a weapon, although he makes them 4) mostly more...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Yellow Jacket - iPhone Stun Gun Case
$100 from indiegogo »

In an act of retaliation against its relegation to the uncomfortably jarring vibrate setting, the iPhone has summoned the Yellow Jacket, and plans to return the favor. In the form of a body-rocking 650,000 volts. The Yellow Jacket iPhone more...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Zombie Ammunition

when preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse the present has no rival in terms of when to prepare. Look people, they're coming. And if you wanna survive, you're gonna need some ammo capable of killing zombies. Thankfully, I've more...

Monday, April 30, 2012
Blade Driver Crossbow

Ornery watermelons, prepare to meet your fate. Tactical tinkerer, and Laser Glove creator, Patrick Priebe's Blade Driver crossbow launches whirling buzz saws at all deserving targets, but especially those that are mealy, not ripe enough more...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Glow-in-the-Dark Crowbar
$49.99 from Glowbar Inc. »

One thing that sucks about using a crowbar to beat someone up in a dark alley is the dark alley part. How are you supposed to tell if it's really connecting with the intended's face and other vital organs, or just delivering the equivalent more...

Sunday, November 11, 2012
Baseball Bat Flashlight
$35.95 - $45.95 from SuperiorMCSupply »

A swing and a miss no more. Not with 140 Lumens of LED light pouring from the tip of your baseball bat. Available in compact, but business-takin'-care-of 15-1/2", and say-goodbye-to-the-bones-in-your-face 23-1/2" models, the LED Baseball more...

Friday, August 26, 2011
Iron Reaver Finger Claw
$7.95 from Amazon »

The real question is... can you wear one of these out in public? These are sharp, flexible and the perfect finishing touch to a catwoman outfit. Or they'd be great for slicing up intruders that break in your apartment at night to steal more...

Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Four-Barrel Underwater Dart Gun

As we prepare to honor the USA with a day of drinking beer, eating potato salad, dinking around with bottle rockets, and setting fire to the sky, the Four-Barrel Underwater Dart Gun would like to remind us we should also raise a glass more...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Crovel Tactical Shovel
$109.99 from GearUp »

"Crovel", like "spork", is a portmanteau word. It combines "Shovel" and "Crap! I'm gonna get impaled, sawed, and scooped all at once!" GearUp's latest in a respectable line of survival tools, the Crovel Tactical weighs only 3 pounds more...

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