Weapons

ESEE Junglas Dark Earth Knife

$166.97 from Amazon »

Phillip Blair's review tells you everything you need to know about the ESEE Junglas Dark Earth knife, except how to pronounce it: "This knife is so full of MURICAN TESTOSTERONE that my beard grew 2 inches just by opening...

Mako Pressure Point Restraining Tool

$14.93 from Amazon »

Next time someone calls me a tool, I think I'll say, "Thank you." And offer to show him how swell it feels when a tool digs his Mako-laced fingers right into that spot at the bottom-side of the neck....

Benchmade SOCP Dagger & Trainer

$124.75 from Amazon »

Greg Thompson developed both the Special Operations Combative Program and the SOCP Dagger system now fabricated by Benchmade. The skeletonized fixed blade is made of 440C steel with an undulating handle and end finger...

Crusader Forge Apex 3D Folding Knife

$1,225 from KnifeArt »

They say the Apex, a Crusader Forge issue patterned in 3D camo, is built like a tank. They also say the expression "built like a tank" is way overused in the knife world. Then they say when it comes to this folding knife...

John Neeman Hunting Knives

$340 - $780 from John Neeman »

I always hear that ladies like Latin lovers, but after a quick perusal of the sexy, hand-finessed artistry comprising the John Neeman knife gallery I'll bet the outdoorsy girls out there are going to be on the lookout...

O-Mega Star Warrior Stun Gun

$109.95 from Amazon »

But officer, it's just a movie prop. See, they used an O-Mega Star Warrior Stun Gun in Demolition Man, Con-Air, and The Last Boy Scout. I'm just role-playing and...ow! I see you are not. Can you at loosen those cuffs...

Rebel 350 Compound Levering System Crossbow

$333.55 from Amazon »

Targets and prey not included. However, Southern Crossbow's Rebel 350 does come with 4 field tip arrows capable for flying up to 350 FPS behind its 155-pound draw weight and 14.2" power stroke. In an effort to "integrate...

Cold Steel 7" GI Tanto Knife

$21.24 from Amazon »

I say, why have a small child when you can have a knife the size of a small child instead? Seems like at least 988 people agree with me, which is how many Amazon reviews Cold Steel's GI Tanto has so far. Average rating:...

Lunar Legacy Combat Sword

$26.99 from Amazon »

I love the Amazon Q&A sections. Because, like another potentially interested party, I too was wondering if the Lunar Legacy would be a good sword for battle or just display. Three current owners responded, with two of...

Walther PPK Rubber Band Gun

$22.99 from Etsy »

The name's Band. James Band....

Celtic Elite Bowie Knife

$16.99 from Amazon »

Festive or hideous? This Celtic Elite Bowie Knife from Ridge Runner is maybe a little bit of both. But come on, what better to pair with your kilt and Guinness this St. Paddy's Day than a thick stainless steel blade with...

Pointie Tactical Marker

$20 - $25 from indiegogo »

The Pointie. A "tactical marker" in name, but we both know what that's a euphemism for: stabbing things. Like glass during rescues. Warthogs during attacks. And whiteboards. Insolent, misbehavin' whiteboards....

DoctorKote Ballistics Gel Targets

$25 - $35 from Doctor Kote »

While it's complete blasphemy and should be grounds for long-term imprisonment to shoot at R2-D2 and Han Solo (while the poor bastard is frozen in Carbonite!) the Stormtrooper and LEGO man versions of DoctorKote's FBI-grade...

Wasp Gas Injection Knife

$499.95 from Wasp »

And a watermelon takes it in the gut again. Like so many other weapons demos we've seen around here (Gotcha Cap, Throwing Card Knives), the effects of the Wasp air injection knife have been exacted upon a watermelon....

Kershaw Scallion Knife

$37.36 - $64.81 from Amazon »

Sure, the Scallion Knife by Kershaw comes in black. But the real draw of this high-performance pocket knife? It also comes in...no, not rainbow. RainBLOW. Now I don't know if that stylization of the word is supposed to...

Magnum Mini Bo-Kri Throwing Knife

$15.05 from Amazon »

Professional knife thrower (how do I get that job?) John Bailey has designed this Mini Bo-Kri for Boker. Its overall length is 10-3/4", overall composition is 420J2 stainless steel, and overall aesthetic pretty much the...

Femme Fatale Ring Gun

Ladies with a vendetta, or a penchant for jewelry that also serves as a weapon, I'm afraid you can't buy the Femme Fatale Ring Gun. (Unless the person who paid $11,350 for it at auction would be willing to sell it to...

Self Defense Money Clip

$12 from Amazon »

A self defense money clip. Huh. Is that a good idea? Seems like an attacker might consider your money, like, his primary reason for attacking you, and if he got it all tidily stored in a lightweight clip of durable aluminum...

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Delta Bow with Draw Holder & Laser Sight

The Delta is part of William Tell's collection of concept bows. A bow-crossbow combo, it maintains the lightness and portability of a manual bow, but adds a draw holding device and 5-pin sight and laser sight for crossbow-style...

50 Cent Coin Knife

$39.95 from Amazon »

They're trying to say that no one will ever suspect an escape knife is nestled within this 50-cent piece, but I think I would suspect that anyone who still carries around a 50-cent piece is up to no good, hidden blade...

Monkey Fist Paracord Self Defense Keychain

$12.99 from Amazon »

"This Monkey Fist unit looks like a simple harmless keychain. However, in the unfortunate event that you need to defend yourself this powerful self defense keychain will stun and maim your attacker." And how is that?...

Ka-Bar Self Defense Cane

$83.81 from Amazon »

One more reason you don't mess with Grandpa. This Ka-Bar powder-coated aluminum cane supports both a bad right knee and a wicked righthand swing. The walking stick flawlessly doubles as a self defense tool...presuming...

ShotGlass Rifle Shooting Glasses

$995 from TrackingPoint »

Last year TrackingPoint's smart rifle system, the PGF, got a lot of attention. It also got a lot of skepticism and just about as much heat as it packs. Now the Precision Guided Firearm is getting a little Google Glass-ish...

Shinbudo Bokken - Japanese Training Tools

$250 - $350 from Shinbudo Weapons »

Now these are kind of cool. They're bokken, traditional, usually katana-shaped training tools used in Japanese martial arts. Dennis King of Shinbudo Weapons makes all of them himself, by hand is his Corvallis shop. Corvallis...

Waves MFS Physio-Tactical Pocket Stick

Sold Out from Amazon »

Designer Rainer Wenning calls his Waves MFS a "physio-tactical" palm stick, which might be the best bit of pretentious, made-up terminology I've ever heard. Because what "physio-tactical" basically means is that after...

Barnett Penetrator Crossbow

$376.99 from Amazon »

I finally hunted down* Barnett's Penetrator Crossbow in response to reader disgruntlement over the discontinuation of the M4 Tactical Crossbow. Admittedly, this substitute is no LeBron - it lacks the red dot sight, LED...

Throwing Card Knives

Discontinued

Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch....

Hand Forged Samurai Swords

$125 - $6,990 from Swords of Northshire »

Swords of Northshire works directly with a forge in Longquan to satisfy all of your samurai sword needs. Or, more likely, create your sudden and intense samurai sword needs. Handmade from the ground up, the retailer's...

Gotcha Cap Self Defense Tool

$39.20 from Amazon »

You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!)...

Salvo 12 Commercial Shotgun Suppressor

$1,400 from SilencerCo »

I think most sportsmen would agree that hunting and skeet shooting are fun, but going deaf is not. And while earmuffs and plugs can assist with eardrum preservation, they can also inhibit the detection of other critical...

Fatboy NukoHead

Sold Out from Amazon »

NukoTools' Fatboy NukoHead provides 3/8" of non-metallic double-knuckle impact for maximal Don't F with me effect. And since it looks like Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, you may not even need to...

Titanium Bat Self Defense Tool

Sold Out from Amazon »

Here's a different take on the Bat-Signal. In the sense that the person flashing it is definitely not the person who needs help. A hand-crafted self defense and EDC tool, the bat slips over fired-up knuckles and thwarts...

445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster

$299.99 from Etsy »

Here's a 445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster by Tony Starks. I don't know if that's his real name or not, but if so now we know that having just one letter more than Iron Man makes you Laser Man. The trapezoidal-rhomboidal-pieced...

Otis Tactical Cleaning System

$37.37 from Amazon »

This Otis tactical pouch reminds me of that classic TV trope. A teenage boy awkwardly heads to the front door to pick up a teenage girl for their first date, and when he walks in the house there sits her dad. Cleaning...

Rail-Mounted Pepper Spray

$99 - $249 from Pro-Defense »

Designed originally for law enforcement and military use, Pro-Defense calls their F4 Tactical rail-mounted pepper spray the non-lethal alternative. Which I take to mean getting hit by a solid stream of it is still going...

Airsoft Grenade Launcher

Sold Out from Amazon »

Maybe you'd rather your 6-pack attack come from the real one--the M-32 multiple grenade launcher Mach Machowicz once demoed on Future Weapons--but you'll probably get yourself into a lot less trouble with the po and your...

Armatix Smart System for Firearms

Looks like James Bond and Data from The Goonies are finally making good on that collaboration they've been talking about. What we have here is a smartwatch-controlled pistol. A gun that will fire only if it is within...

Echo1 M134 Airsoft Machine Gun

$3,899.99 from Airsplat »

390 FPS, 21-1/2" long barrel, 13-1/2" short barrel, 1,700-round magazine capacity...I don't think I'd even shoot my friend Cornelius in the ass with one of these things to try to get on Tosh.0. The Echo1 M134 MiniGun...

Firearm-Mounted Axe Heads

$110 - $120 from Melee Mods »

Since The Walking Dead started again, I've been thinking I need a new zombie-decimating weapon for use in my daydreams about stuffing them with bullets and hacking off their heads. Melee Mods' Tact-Axe and Gatchet should...

Falcon Slingbows

$135 - $300.95 from Falcon Slingbows »

Rattlin' Randy Riffenburgh owns the dual titles of Falcon Slingbow Creator and Falcon Slingbow Sniper. He developed the patent-pending, arrow-shooting slingshot for hunting, fishing, and target shooting. And he reigns...

Big Bore Hunting Blowgun

$21.24 from Amazon »

This is a Cold Steel Big Bore Hunting Blowgun. It is 4' long with a 3mm barrel and target-style mouthpiece for firing .625 magnum darts. No cheap materials or shoddy assembly here either. Made of polymer, rubber, and...

Morph Fire Paintball Gun Converter

$159.99 - $175.99 from Morph Fire »

This isn't a toy: it's power incarnate. That's how the guys at Morph Fire feel about their 656 converter packs, which turn paintball guns into 600 fps, 6mm BB guns. Coincidentally, it's also how I feel about my pitching...

HALO V 3X - 32" Switchblade

$9,500 from Blade HQ »

Better known as the Gargantuan Beast, Marfione Customs' HALO V 3X is a 32" out the front knife begging to battle Bigfoot and become the next addition to your Microtech collection. As indicated, the 3X is 3 times the size...

Grizzly 8.5" Magfed Shotgun

$411 from Canada Ammo »

No one has written a Wikipedia article on Dominion Arms' Grizzly 8.5 magfed shotgun yet, and no one has given me a Dominion Arms Grizzly 8.5 mag fed shotgun yet, so all I can really say about it is that from the very...

Buy Tighe Dual Blade Titanium Knife

$1k from Blade HQ »

This dual-bladed evolution of bladesmith Brian Tighe's Nirk Tighe won Most Innovative Custom Design at the 2012 BLADE Show. Now what I wonder is if the Buy Tighe knife is really so outstanding that it's worth a cool grand...

The World's First Smart Rifle

$22,500 - $27,500 from TrackingPoint »

Taking top honors in the category of Yo That's Crazy and Moderately Disturbing but I Guess It Was Gonna Happen Sometime: TrackingPoint's PGF. Precision. Guided. Firearm. It's fighter-jet-style, lock-and-launch technology...

Zombie Hammer Survival Tools

$79.95 - $139.95 from Zombie Hammer »

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel!...

Decimator Staff Lightsaber

Discontinued

I wish Saberforge would stop churning out new custom designs faster than I can squirrel away enough money from helping old ladies with groceries and skimming off the top of the church collection basket to buy them all....