Weapons

JHO Knives BLITZ Tool

$180 from JHO Knives »

The first definition of the word "blitz" is "An intensive or sudden military attack." But here's hoping anyone who uses this BLITZ, another shiny man bauble from JHO Knives, is more about its surprise defense than its...

Hand Forged Steel Viking Axe

$149.99 from Amazon »

Viking axe? This hand forged steel beaut from Premium Handmade in the Ukraine looks more like an axe cast from the skeleton of a stegosaurus who used to be in an 80s death metal band. Yep, that's right. It should be called...

The Big Bang Pistol Set

$4.5 million from Cabot Guns »

Cabot Guns has forged a few big bangs into its Big Bang Pistol set. The matched left and right pair of 1911s aren't just two of a kind, the only two Cabot has and will ever build (bang!), they're two of a kind made entirely...

JHO Knives F**H Spiked Club

$1,250 from JHO Knives »

My sense is that JHO Knives' F**H spiked club could do as much physical damage to my wallet as its $1,250 price tag would do figurative damage. 100% pure cowhide leather? Psshhh. If the brass spikes encircling the club's...

Little Viper Pepper Spray Bracelet

$21.99 from Amazon »

A point, a press, and Oh it burns, it burns! The Little Viper Pepper Spray Bracelet condenses and enhances access to self defense with a low-profile wearable always at the ready around your wrist. Since attacks or assaults...

HemiSERE Titanium Lapel Knife

$40 from Gearward »

The covert HemiSERE Titanium Lapel Knife isn't just some piece of urban-spy EDC Gearward designed for us to geek out on (though it's a little that too). It's a contemporary take on a real issue, the OSS Lapel Knife, clandestine...

The d'Capitan: Sabre

$449.95 from Zombie Tools »

Zombie tools and weapons don't have the same presence today that they did a few years ago, but luckily for Zombie Tools, pieces like their d'Capitan: Sabre transcend the trends of pop culture, and emerge badass and covetable...

Scorpion Knuckles

Ahhh, a gift fit for a Scorpion King. Present these Scorpion Knuckles to Mathayus, and you should get a hearty Dilly, dilly! in return...

Flagrant Beard HAVOC Neck Knife

$110.86 from Amazon »

I am not a weekend warrior. More a weekend coucher. But, if I were, this seems like the neck knife that I would want on my person. The Flagrant Beard HAVOC stems from an essential necessity of law enforcement and military...

Fast Strike Self Defense Weapon

$22.95 from Amazon »

It's called Fast Strike and - whirwhack! - it's gonna sting. The non-lethal self defense weapon looks like the antenna on the cordless phone my family had growing up. Which, coincidentally, also kinda hurt when someone...

Dark Nexus Throwing Knife Set

Sold Out from Amazon »

Dark Nexus says they're throwing knives, but to me they look like part throwing knife, part knork! When zombie slayer target practice is over I think these snake-tongued blades will accompany me to the dinner table to...

Ultra-Compact Keychain Stun Gun

$19.14 from Amazon »

It may look like a car fob but the only thing Guard Dog's Hornet Keychain Stun Gun is gonna unlock is 6,000,000 volts of pain and paralysis. Guard Dog say it's the smallest and lightest stun gun in the world, and a super...

Yoogo Self Defense Keychain

$19.99 from Amazon »

It looks like a boomerang, but really the Yoogo Self Defense Keychain just goes BOOM! In your choice of punching, hooking, stabbing, or slashing...

M48 Cyclone Fixed Blade Knife

It's probably nowhere near the Jagdkommando knife in performance, but on the (very far) upshot, the M48 Cyclone fixed blade knife is also nowhere near the Jagdkommando in price...

TOPS M4X Punisher Knife

$180.01 from Amazon »

I recommend watching the above video in its entirety. Not only because M4X Punisher demo damsel Kaila* is adorable, but also because she becomes even more adorable after she completes her successful attack on that coconut...

Sting Ring

$19.08 from Amazon »

Who wants a fist bump? The Sting Ring is the newest beast in my menagerie of self defense tools. My digital menagerie. I don't own one of the single finger knuckle dusters, and I have no idea how effectively its 18,000,000...

Go Guarded Self Defense Ring

$12.99 from Go Guarded »

I bought my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, a purple Brutus the Bulldog keychain to serve as her attacker ass-kicking assistant, but I'll admit when it arrived, it turned out to be a lot bigger and clunkier that...

ZORE X Smart Gun Lock

$95 - $169 from ZORE »

A couple years ago we saw Armatix's attempt to smarten up gun safety with a system that pairs your firearm with a digital watch, allowing the former to shoot only when it is within range of the latter. ZORE has a different...

The Hammer Slingshot / Slingbow

$99.98 from Simpleshot »

Archers, bowhunters, bowfishers, people who like to sling mud get one tool for all their firing needs in The Hammer. This slingshot /slingbow invites sportsmen to practice multiple shooting disciplines using its adjustable...

Cat Ring Self Defense Tool

Discontinued

Some kittehs can haz cheezburger. Other kittehs can mak yur face cheezburger. Like this kitteh, smithed into a sweet ring with conflict-ready stainless steel cat ears. I'd say it would make a great gift for your girlfriend...

Gamo Whisper Fusion Pro Air Rifle

$229.12 from Amazon »

One of my mama's favorite pastimes is going into the backyard and shooting the pigeons off her roof so they stop "crapping all over everything and making that awful cooing noise." Usually she just uses a BB gun to do...

TigerLady Self-Defense Claw

$29 from TigerLady »

Remember that old Secret deodorant commercial? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? I'd put TigerLady in that same category. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...to slash, gouge, and rip apart any...

Mantis Vicious Circle Knife

$94.95 from Amazon »

Circles symbolize unity, wholeness, totality. And also hidden, razor-sharp blades. At least when they're Vicious Circles, and come forth from the loins of Mantis Knives...

Defiant Craft Knuckle Dusters

When I saw this set of Defiant Craft knuckle dusters I thought of the Bon Jovi song "Have a Nice Day", and also what I would like to use the knuckle dusters to do to the speaker that's playing the Bon Jovi song "Have...