Weapons

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Fast Strike Self Defense Weapon

$22.95 from Amazon »

It's called Fast Strike and - whirwhack! - it's gonna sting. The non-lethal self defense weapon looks like the antenna on the cordless phone my family had growing up. Which, coincidentally, also kinda hurt when someone...

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Dark Nexus Throwing Knife Set

Sold Out from Amazon »

Dark Nexus says they're throwing knives, but to me they look like part throwing knife, part knork! When zombie slayer target practice is over I think these snake-tongued blades will accompany me to the dinner table to...

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Ultra-Compact Keychain Stun Gun

$15.64 from Amazon »

It may look like a car fob but the only thing Guard Dog's Hornet Keychain Stun Gun is gonna unlock is 6,000,000 volts of pain and paralysis. Guard Dog say it's the smallest and lightest stun gun in the world, and a super...

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Yoogo Self Defense Keychain

$19.99 from Amazon »

It looks like a boomerang, but really the Yoogo Self Defense Keychain just goes BOOM! In your choice of punching, hooking, stabbing, or slashing...

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M48 Cyclone Fixed Blade Knife

It's probably nowhere near the Jagdkommando knife in performance, but on the (very far) upshot, the M48 Cyclone fixed blade knife is also nowhere near the Jagdkommando in price...

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TOPS M4X Punisher Knife

$175.94 from Amazon »

I recommend watching the above video in its entirety. Not only because M4X Punisher demo damsel Kaila* is adorable, but also because she becomes even more adorable after she completes her successful attack on that coconut...

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Sting Ring

$17.95 from Amazon »

Who wants a fist bump? The Sting Ring is the newest beast in my menagerie of self defense tools. My digital menagerie. I don't own one of the single finger knuckle dusters, and I have no idea how effectively its 18,000,000...

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Go Guarded Self Defense Ring

$15.99 from Amazon »

I bought my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, a purple Brutus the Bulldog keychain to serve as her attacker ass-kicking assistant, but I'll admit when it arrived, it turned out to be a lot bigger and clunkier that...

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ZORE X Smart Gun Lock

$95 - $169 from ZORE »

A couple years ago we saw Armatix's attempt to smarten up gun safety with a system that pairs your firearm with a digital watch, allowing the former to shoot only when it is within range of the latter. ZORE has a different...

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The Hammer Slingshot / Slingbow

$99.98 from Simpleshot »

Archers, bowhunters, bowfishers, people who like to sling mud get one tool for all their firing needs in The Hammer. This slingshot /slingbow invites sportsmen to practice multiple shooting disciplines using its adjustable...

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Cat Ring Self Defense Tool

Discontinued

Some kittehs can haz cheezburger. Other kittehs can mak yur face cheezburger. Like this kitteh, smithed into a sweet ring with conflict-ready stainless steel cat ears. I'd say it would make a great gift for your girlfriend...

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Gamo Whisper Fusion Pro Air Rifle

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One of my mama's favorite pastimes is going into the backyard and shooting the pigeons off her roof so they stop "crapping all over everything and making that awful cooing noise." Usually she just uses a BB gun to do...

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TigerLady Self-Defense Claw

$29 from TigerLady »

Remember that old Secret deodorant commercial? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? I'd put TigerLady in that same category. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman...to slash, gouge, and rip apart any...

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Mantis Vicious Circle Knife

$94.95 from Amazon »

Circles symbolize unity, wholeness, totality. And also hidden, razor-sharp blades. At least when they're Vicious Circles, and come forth from the loins of Mantis Knives...

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Defiant Craft Knuckle Dusters

$8.90 - $17.99 from Defiant Craft »

When I saw this set of Defiant Craft knuckle dusters I thought of the Bon Jovi song "Have a Nice Day", and also what I would like to use the knuckle dusters to do to the speaker that's playing the Bon Jovi song "Have...

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6,000,000-volt Flashlight Stun Gun

$16.77 - $18.59 from Amazon »

And, ladies, since the pink one looks like some kind of pleasure toy, an attacker will never see this flashlight's 6,000,000 volts of Go F with someone else coming. Guard Dog Security's Inferno stun gun lights the way...

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SALT Self-Defense Gun

$299.99 - $349.99 from Salt Supply »

Lorenzo Maggiore already figured out how to A-Salt bugs in an effort keep our extermination of insects simple, clean, and green. Now we have a means of SALTing humans, this time in an effort to keep our defense against...

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Police Force Defender

$142.89 from Amazon »

The Police Force Defender might have a killer look, but a blast from this self-defense weapon will incapacitate an attacker using the non-lethal forces of Crossfire Technology and Sabre Red Pepper Spray. In terms less...

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Kung Fu Power Self-Defense Rings

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Pretty Chinese rings, pretty gnarly applications. This stack of Kung Fu Power Magic Rings fans out to create a 4-wide set of individual inscribed adornments for Pointer, Tall Man, Ring Man, and Pinky. That's the pretty...

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The Sharkalope

$319.95 from Zombie Tools »

The dudes at Zombie Tools call their new Sharkalope knife "an unholy confusion of genetics." I love the dudes at Zombie Tools. I hate them too. Because not only are they way better at their job of forging apocalyptic...

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ESEE Junglas Dark Earth Knife

$160.95 from Amazon »

Phillip Blair's review tells you everything you need to know about the ESEE Junglas Dark Earth knife, except how to pronounce it: "This knife is so full of MURICAN TESTOSTERONE that my beard grew 2 inches just by opening...

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Mako Pressure Point Restraining Tool

Sold Out from Amazon »

Next time someone calls me a tool, I think I'll say, "Thank you." And offer to show him how swell it feels when a tool digs his Mako-laced fingers right into that spot at the bottom-side of the neck...

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Benchmade SOCP Dagger & Trainer

$127.50 from Amazon »

Greg Thompson developed both the Special Operations Combative Program and the SOCP Dagger system now fabricated by Benchmade. The skeletonized fixed blade is made of 440C steel with an undulating handle and end finger...

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Crusader Forge Apex 3D Folding Knife

$1,225 from KnifeArt »

They say the Apex, a Crusader Forge issue patterned in 3D camo, is built like a tank. They also say the expression "built like a tank" is way overused in the knife world. Then they say when it comes to this folding knife...