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Weapons

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Tuesday, March 24, 2015
$23.61 from Amazon »

I say, why have a small child when you can have a knife the size of a small child instead? Seems like at least 988 people agree with me, which is how many Amazon reviews Cold Steel's GI Tanto has so far. Average rating: 4-1/2...

Sunday, February 1, 2015
$499.95 from Wasp »

And a watermelon takes it in the gut again. Like so many other weapons demos we've seen around here (Gotcha Cap, Throwing Card Knives), the effects of the Wasp air injection knife have been exacted upon a watermelon. Check...

Friday, January 10, 2014
$411 from Canada Ammo »

No one has written a Wikipedia article on Dominion Arms' Grizzly 8.5 magfed shotgun yet, and no one has given me a Dominion Arms Grizzly 8.5 mag fed shotgun yet, so all I can really say about it is that from the very first time we locked eyes online, I felt that we were one. That we should roar and tear through a river together, eat raw fish and honey, and then retire to my den for a nap. That...

Monday, July 28, 2014
$39.45 from Amazon »

You can watch the video to see the Gotcha Cap in action, or click here to watch a GIF of it showing a punk ass watermelon what's up. Issued by FAB Defense, the Gotcha Cap is a covert self defense tool (and swell hat!) developed...

Sunday, March 18, 2012
$4,400 - $4,950 from Arsenal Firearms »

The AF2011-A1 Double Barrel Pistol is a first on two counts. It's the first ever double barrel semiautomatic pistol manufactured for sale (not available yet, but on deck for Fall 2012). And, after getting a load of the "Twenty...

Sunday, December 1, 2013
Discontinued

I wish Saberforge would stop churning out new custom designs faster than I can squirrel away enough money from helping old ladies with groceries and skimming off the top of the church collection basket to buy them all. This one in particular makes me feel extra covetous because it's not just a lightsaber, but a lighted Decimator Staff. It blazes power and commands submission from both ends. Kind...

Tuesday, March 10, 2015
$26.99 from Amazon »

I love the Amazon Q&A sections. Because, like another potentially interested party, I too was wondering if the Lunar Legacy would be a good sword for battle or just display. Three current owners responded, with two of them...

Sunday, August 19, 2012
$290 - $350 from Henry Repeating Arms »

"Don't leave civilization without one." It's the motto of the US Survival AR-7, a semi-automatic portable rifle that weighs a mere 3-1/2 pounds and measures in at 16-1/2" long when broken down and stowed in its waterproof...

Thursday, February 23, 2012
$318.82 from Amazon »

Are you prepared to fight for the survival and integrity of family, friends, and the human race in apocalyptic combat with the ambulatory dead? In other words, do you want to buy a 7-piece set of gut-ripping knives and sick...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$79.95 - $139.95 from Zombie Hammer »

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel! Hold...

The Eviltron
Sold Out from Amazon »
Sunday, May 13, 2012
$1,750 from Etsy »

You look at the replica M41A Pulse Rifle from Aliens, its fully adjustable metal stock and removable magazine, and wonder, Is it real? It looks real. It's the right shape. It's...huge...definitely the right size. It moves...

Monday, December 24, 2012
$129.99 - $499 from Etsy »

Be advised: Although Phillip Isherwood's custom crafted lightsabers blaze LED spectral force fields of green, red, or blue and arrive with 36" long polycarbonate blades designed for full speed, full contact dueling, he wants...

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Ladies with a vendetta, or a penchant for jewelry that also serves as a weapon, I'm afraid you can't buy the Femme Fatale Ring Gun. (Unless the person who paid $11,350 for it at auction would be willing to sell it to you for...

Sunday, December 15, 2013
$22,500 - $27,500 from TrackingPoint »

Taking top honors in the category of Yo That's Crazy and Moderately Disturbing but I Guess It Was Gonna Happen Sometime: TrackingPoint's PGF. Precision. Guided. Firearm. It's fighter-jet-style, lock-and-launch technology stuffed...

Tuesday, September 30, 2014
$152.67 from Amazon »

Designer Rainer Wenning calls his Waves MFS a "physio-tactical" palm stick, which might be the best bit of pretentious, made-up terminology I've ever heard. Because what "physio-tactical" basically means is that after you...

Sunday, June 30, 2013
$1,629 from Chiappa Firearms »

I don't know how to shoot a gun, or really even how to hold a gun without soiling my pants, but I bet if someone put one gun in my hands and another to my head and demanded I use the former to fire at a watermelon dangling...

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Five seconds into a look through Triangle Krav Maga's Website and Facebook photo stream and two things become abundantly clear: these cats do not F around; and I would like an application to become one of them. After all...

Thursday, February 19, 2015
$20 - $25 from indiegogo »

The Pointie. A "tactical marker" in name, but we both know what that's a euphemism for: stabbing things. Like glass during rescues. Warthogs during attacks. And whiteboards. Insolent, misbehavin' whiteboards....

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Here's a 445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster by Tony Starks. I don't know if that's his real name or not, but if so now we know that having just one letter more than Iron Man makes you Laser Man. The trapezoidal-rhomboidal-pieced...

Wednesday, March 4, 2015
$15.49 from Amazon »

Festive or hideous? This Celtic Elite Bowie Knife from Ridge Runner is maybe a little bit of both. But come on, what better to pair with your kilt and Guinness this St. Paddy's Day than a thick stainless steel blade with luck...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014
$11.95 from Weapon King »

Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch....

Monday, May 27, 2013
$339 from Amazon »

Stealth. Stamina. Sniper sight. And that's just the M4 Tactical Crossbow itself. Like, before taking into account the litany of powerful, valiant, not-to-be-F'd-with characteristics Cornelius and I will bring to the table...

Sunday, October 19, 2014
$995 from TrackingPoint »

Last year TrackingPoint's smart rifle system, the PGF, got a lot of attention. It also got a lot of skepticism and just about as much heat as it packs. Now the Precision Guided Firearm is getting a little Google Glass-ish...

Saturday, November 1, 2014
$12.99 from Amazon »

"This Monkey Fist unit looks like a simple harmless keychain. However, in the unfortunate event that you need to defend yourself this powerful self defense keychain will stun and maim your attacker." And how is that? Because...

Thursday, March 5, 2015
$19.99 from Etsy »

The name's Band. James Band....

Sunday, July 27, 2014
$1,400 from SilencerCo »

I think most sportsmen would agree that hunting and skeet shooting are fun, but going deaf is not. And while earmuffs and plugs can assist with eardrum preservation, they can also inhibit the detection of other critical sounds....

Tuesday, October 23, 2012
$26.49 from Amazon »

Unassuming. Low-profile. Comfortable. Able to shatter wrist bones. Just the combination of qualities I've been looking for in a baseball hat. The Sap Cap takes traditional headwear to the covert weapon level with its pellet-filled...

Tuesday, February 10, 2015
$25 - $35 from Doctor Kote »

While it's complete blasphemy and should be grounds for long-term imprisonment to shoot at R2-D2 and Han Solo (while the poor bastard is frozen in Carbonite!) the Stormtrooper and LEGO man versions of DoctorKote's FBI-grade...

Thursday, March 8, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

If you're looking to stab someone in the back, knife them in the heart, or just royally screw them over, Microtech's MCT1057 Jagdkommando fixed blade knife is the definitive way to do it. A version of the manufacturer's Marfione...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014
$3,899.99 from Airsplat »

390 FPS, 21-1/2" long barrel, 13-1/2" short barrel, 1,700-round magazine capacity...I don't think I'd even shoot my friend Cornelius in the ass with one of these things to try to get on Tosh.0. The Echo1 M134 MiniGun is an...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011
$34 from Amazon »

This, unbelievably, is exactly what the name suggests, a mini desktop cannon that fires standard BBs. And, it's pretty damn cool. You really need to watch the video to see it in action. I'm certain this will be used for nefarious...

Tuesday, August 6, 2013
$90.50 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Pull the pin and let the propane do the rest. When Airsoft's Tornado Impact Grenades detonate, they scatter over 200 plastic 6mm pellets in all 3 dimensions under which your enemies might try to take cover. This means that...

Thursday, January 30, 2014
$135 - $300.95 from Falcon Slingbows »

Rattlin' Randy Riffenburgh owns the dual titles of Falcon Slingbow Creator and Falcon Slingbow Sniper. He developed the patent-pending, arrow-shooting slingshot for hunting, fishing, and target shooting. And he reigns supreme...

Monday, July 16, 2012
$23,999 from Optics Planet »

OK, zombiologists, conspiracy theorists, slaves to sci-fi, and keepers of the Boy Scout motto, it's time to put your $24,000 where your mouth is. OpticsPlanet has assembled a stunning and formidable sprawl of zombie apocalypse...

Friday, April 6, 2012
$705 from Serbu Firearms »

The Super Shorty Shotgun is based on a Mossberg Maverick 12-gauge, and, at an additional cost, is also available in models Mossberg 500, Remington 870, and Lil' Kim. Factory-fabricated with a pistol grip, the Super Shorty...

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The Delta is part of William Tell's collection of concept bows. A bow-crossbow combo, it maintains the lightness and portability of a manual bow, but adds a draw holding device and 5-pin sight and laser sight for crossbow-style...

Tuesday, February 11, 2014
$110 - $120 from Melee Mods »

Since The Walking Dead started again, I've been thinking I need a new zombie-decimating weapon for use in my daydreams about stuffing them with bullets and hacking off their heads. Melee Mods' Tact-Axe and Gatchet should do...

Monday, December 8, 2014
$12.95 from Amazon »

A self defense money clip. Huh. Is that a good idea? Seems like an attacker might consider your money, like, his primary reason for attacking you, and if he got it all tidily stored in a lightweight clip of durable aluminum...

Sunday, November 16, 2014
$33.94 from Amazon »

They're trying to say that no one will ever suspect an escape knife is nestled within this 50-cent piece, but I think I would suspect that anyone who still carries around a 50-cent piece is up to no good, hidden blade or not....

Wednesday, February 26, 2014
By: Armatix

Looks like James Bond and Data from The Goonies are finally making good on that collaboration they've been talking about. What we have here is a smartwatch-controlled pistol. A gun that will fire only if it is within range...

Friday, May 23, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

NukoTools' Fatboy NukoHead provides 3/8" of non-metallic double-knuckle impact for maximal Don't F with me effect. And since it looks like Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, you may not even need to make...

Saturday, January 28, 2012
$37.34 from Amazon »

When it comes to delivery method, punching someone in the face has 3 tiers of awesome: 1) Bare fist; 2) Fist coated in brass knuckles; 3) Fist coated in brass knuckles juiced up to deliver 950,000 volts of blue lightning upon...

Sunday, January 12, 2014
$9,500 from Blade HQ »

Better known as the Gargantuan Beast, Marfione Customs' HALO V 3X is a 32" out the front knife begging to battle Bigfoot and become the next addition to your Microtech collection. As indicated, the 3X is 3 times the size of...

Friday, September 5, 2014
$420.01 from Amazon »

I finally hunted down* Barnett's Penetrator Crossbow in response to reader disgruntlement over the discontinuation of the M4 Tactical Crossbow. Admittedly, this substitute is no LeBron - it lacks the red dot sight, LED flashlight...

Friday, August 8, 2014
$125 - $6,990 from Swords of Northshire »

Swords of Northshire works directly with a forge in Longquan to satisfy all of your samurai sword needs. Or, more likely, create your sudden and intense samurai sword needs. Handmade from the ground up, the retailer's sword...

Sunday, March 2, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Maybe you'd rather your 6-pack attack come from the real one--the M-32 multiple grenade launcher Mach Machowicz once demoed on Future Weapons--but you'll probably get yourself into a lot less trouble with the po and your mom...

Thursday, October 30, 2014
$83.81 from Amazon »

One more reason you don't mess with Grandpa. This Ka-Bar powder-coated aluminum cane supports both a bad right knee and a wicked righthand swing. The walking stick flawlessly doubles as a self defense tool...presuming you...

Friday, June 14, 2013
$189.95 - $574.95 from Zombie Tools »

Am I tired of zombies? Mmm...not really. Am I tired of ominous-looking, exceptionally hand-smithed swords and knives and machetes with blades sharp enough to slice through 24 cans of PBR in one blow (and a few tries)? Definitely...

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Excuse me, sirs of Carmatech Engineering, but are you sure this so-called paintball sniper rifle shoots only balls of paint, and not balls of, like, lead? Oh, is that so? Yeah, OK, that makes sense. The SAR12 Sniper shoots...

Sunday, February 24, 2013
$44.50 from Amazon »

Disorienting, blinding, and giving people seizures all serve as excellent forms of distraction during attempts at self-defense and ploys to make off with the $80 giant peanut butter cup cake. Brite Strike's Tactical Balls...

Monday, January 5, 2015
$15.90 from Amazon »

Professional knife thrower (how do I get that job?) John Bailey has designed this Mini Bo-Kri for Boker. Its overall length is 10-3/4", overall composition is 420J2 stainless steel, and overall aesthetic pretty much the best...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$279 - $475 from The Gun Box »

Gun Box has determined that your hand is the only thing that should stand between you and your gun. So buy a Gun Box, and not only will you get a weapon safe that opens exclusively in response to your personal RFID chip, but...

Friday, January 17, 2014
$159.99 - $175.99 from Morph Fire »

This isn't a toy: it's power incarnate. That's how the guys at Morph Fire feel about their 656 converter packs, which turn paintball guns into 600 fps, 6mm BB guns. Coincidentally, it's also how I feel about my pitching arm...

Monday, February 4, 2013
$65 - $85 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

The Escort series of carbon fiber daggers is not meant for cutting. It's meant for stabbing. That statement did not even stem from my powers of deduction, but directly from the manufacturer's literature. Aerospace grade woven...

Sunday, October 13, 2013
$39.95 from Coonan »

When I think of Coonan, I think first of .357 Magnums. But a close and immediate second is zombie and vampire slaying. And now I'm wondering if the firearms manufacturer and I have a psychic connection. I'm wondering if they...

Saturday, April 13, 2013
Discontinued

Blacksmith Stephen Heeney designed and welded this chain link axe himself. He does not recommend using it to chop wood. He recommends using it to hack the ever loving viral entrails and decaying brain matter out of zombies....

Thursday, January 29, 2015
$37.36 - $64.81 from Amazon »

Sure, the Scallion Knife by Kershaw comes in black. But the real draw of this high-performance pocket knife? It also comes in...no, not rainbow. RainBLOW. Now I don't know if that stylization of the word is supposed to mean...

Wednesday, February 13, 2013
$33.95 from Amazon »

Peacemaker sounds noble. Civil. The Ned Stark approach. Which also connotes decapitation of he who bears the peace. When we're discussing a nightstick charged with 6,000,000 volts of blood-buzzing electricity, Peaceforcer...

Friday, October 10, 2014
$250 - $350 from Shinbudo Weapons »

Now these are kind of cool. They're bokken, traditional, usually katana-shaped training tools used in Japanese martial arts. Dennis King of Shinbudo Weapons makes all of them himself, by hand is his Corvallis shop. Corvallis...

Thursday, January 23, 2014
$29.83 from Amazon »

This is a Cold Steel Big Bore Hunting Blowgun. It is 4' long with a 3mm barrel and target-style mouthpiece for firing .625 magnum darts. No cheap materials or shoddy assembly here either. Made of polymer, rubber, and aluminum...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012
$75 - $945 from Etsy »

In the words of the great Missy Elliott's lyrical masterpiece "Ching-A-Ling", "This is serious maaannnn!" Etsy vendor ZDay Survivor's extensive collection of hand-chiseled, zombie-eradicating blades and bludgeons don't just...

Saturday, February 4, 2012
$6.95 from Amazon »

Add some extra spice to your knuckle sandwich. On a typical day, Brutus the Bulldog simply tricks out the keys to your Honda Civic. But on the day you leave the Civic at home, and get jumped walking home from the bar, Brutus'...

Sunday, March 10, 2013
$30.43 from Amazon »

This is what I have to say about the Apocalypse Tactical Tomahawk: sometimes, God does man a favor. Such as when He allows him to conceive and actualize pasties. Two nights in a row now, I've attended functions that randomly...

Tuesday, April 23, 2013
$22.99 from Amazon »

If you missed out on the Chain Link Zombie Slayer Axe, console...and arm...and shock & awe yourself with this sick little zombie killing knife. Combining the functionality of a kitchen cleaver and the intimidating aesthetics...

Monday, May 5, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Here's a different take on the Bat-Signal. In the sense that the person flashing it is definitely not the person who needs help. A hand-crafted self defense and EDC tool, the bat slips over fired-up knuckles and thwarts (or...

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

As we prepare to honor the USA with a day of drinking beer, eating potato salad, dinking around with bottle rockets, and setting fire to the sky, the Four-Barrel Underwater Dart Gun would like to remind us we should also raise...

Monday, April 30, 2012

Ornery watermelons, prepare to meet your fate. Tactical tinkerer, and Laser Glove creator, Patrick Priebe's Blade Driver crossbow launches whirling buzz saws at all deserving targets, but especially those that are mealy, not...

Friday, October 4, 2013
$59.95 from XYZbot »

In the grand spirit of rubber band guns--and according to Rubber Band Machine Gun creator XYZbot, there is indeed a grand spirit and subculture of rubber band guns in Japan--we present your favorite organization, binding...