Solar Powered Cat Tantalizer

By: on July 04, 2013
  • Solar Powered Cat Tantalizer
  • Solar Powered Cat Tantalizer
  • Solar Powered Cat Tantalizer
  • Solar Powered Cat Tantalizer

Unlike fireworks, entertainment by way of watching cats have a conniption represents easy, inexpensive, and safe* entertainment 365 days a year. Now we all know how I feel about cats, i.e., Satan and Joan Rivers' love children, but in setting aside my animosity for a moment I can see that this Solar Powered Cat Tantalizer is truly a gift to those of the feline persuasion and, more importantly, their owners' overnight guests, who would really appreciate it if they went and played by themselves over by the window instead of sitting on his face in the morning.

When suction-cupped to glass, the Cat Tantalizer's attached plastic ball and feathers do a come-and-get-me dance every time its solar panels feel the sun's driving rays. This entices cats to hunt and pounce and make eejits of themselves. The contraption requires no batteries or maintenance--unless it de-suctions and falls off the window, which will inevitably happen on a semi-regular basis, and usually during moments of complete silence when the crashing tumble can best scare the bejuniormints out of you--but uses its solar cell to activate a motor that churns the attached rod and toys back and forth. The rod also detaches should a human want to take on the responsibility of playing with the cat him or herself.

*Note: I truly believe that cats are crazier than women, so I wouldn't take the "safety" of passively watching them grow increasingly agitated trying to catch and kill a toy for granted. Be prepared for them to tire of the Tantalizer at any moment, and opt to turn their claws and teeth and deadly piss shooters on you.

Buy Now

Laser Engraved Cat Rolling Pin

$23.99 from Amazon »

Meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-...chomp! Mmmm, nothing like a buttery bite of shortbread kitteh! You might say this laser engraved cat rolling pin is for cat people. Or, you could make an argument that it's for...

Check it out

$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat


The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

Check it out

Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

Buy Now

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

$10.37 from Amazon »

A must-read for every cat parent! How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives consolidates 8 crucial public service pamphlets into a clear...

Check it out

Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 from Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

Check it out

Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

Check it out

Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

Check it out

Iron Throne Cat Bed

$198 from Etsy »

Is your cat the rightful heir to the FELIRON THRONE? A bright spot in my week of Game of Thrones withdrawal (2019? 2019?!) Kate Agafonova's Iron Throne Cat Bed invites kitties from all families - royals, wardens, lords...

Check it out

Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

Buy Now

Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$19.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...

Check it out

Show Me Your Kitty Panties

$10.90 from Etsy »

Cats hide in the darndest of places, don't they? Etsy shop owner Elena prints adorable images of kitties onto semi-sexy pairs of underwear to create the overall awesome effect of the literal cuddly creature ladies obsess...

Check it out

Cat Ear Headphones

$150 from Axent Wear »

Know what a Berkeley education gets you? The ability to mastermind genius ideas like cat ear headphones. And also the impeccable taste to select an incredibly hot Asian girl to model them. UC Berkeley alumni Wenqing Yan...