73

Litter Kwitter

By: on May 05, 2014
$49.95
Check It Out

Yes, the Litter Kwitter is a real thing. Vendor Firebox, known for their elaborate April Fool's pranks, repeatedly assures us that this seeming 20-pound chocolate Lionel Richie head of cat supplies is not a joke. So now that we have its credibility established, we can move on to discussing how a 3-step training system that teaches cats to pee and poo in human toilets is almost certainly an omen of the End of Days. I give humanity another 2 years max before the felines armor up and take us out in the ApoCATlypse.

Firebox, on the other hand, deems the Litter Kwitter "the next logical evolution in feline domestication." Developed by animal behaviorists and advocated by the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), the system endeavors to make quick and easy work out of focusing cats' natural instincts to teach them to do their business on the pot. Presuming owners are diligent and successful in this training, the result would be an obliteration of their home's smelly and vile litter boxes, plus millions of dollars in savings on the pebbly matter that fills them.

The Litter Kwitter package includes a universal base plate for attachment to almost any toilet seat, plus 3 training discs that owners progressively remove as their cats becomes more familiar with relieving themselves on their new, fully-plumbed litter box. Precise training times will depend on a cat's age, temperament, sense of adventure, and intelligence. So as with humans, the old, cranky, anxious, and dumb ones may be lost causes. Litter Kwitter training systems also come with an instructional DVD. I think for the cat trainers, not the cat trainees.

Check it out

SpinX Toilet Cleaning Robot

$198 - $249 from SpinX »

Cleaning the toilet. A chore so crappy that when I was in college my housemates and I agreed to just not do it. Ah the nights of too much tequila and Taco Bell that could have benefitted from the SpinX. A robot that cleans...

Check it out

$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

Check it out

Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

Buy Now

Laser Engraved Cat Rolling Pin

$23.99 from Amazon »

Meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-...chomp! Mmmm, nothing like a buttery bite of shortbread kitteh! You might say this laser engraved cat rolling pin is for cat people. Or, you could make an argument that it's for...

Buy Now

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

$9.99 from Amazon »

A must-read for every cat parent! How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives consolidates 8 crucial public service pamphlets into a clear...

Check it out

Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 from Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

Check it out

Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

Check it out

Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

Buy Now

PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger

$15.98 from Amazon »

To truly get how the PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger works, you've got to watch the video. Granted, it's not the best quality, and if you're like me you'll get a little caught up on, How many times is that dude...

Check it out

Iron Throne Cat Bed

$198 from Etsy »

Is your cat the rightful heir to the FELIRON THRONE? A bright spot in my week of Game of Thrones withdrawal (2019? 2019?!) Kate Agafonova's Iron Throne Cat Bed invites kitties from all families - royals, wardens, lords...

Check it out

Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

Buy Now

Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$15.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...