Litter Kwitter

By: on May 05, 2014
Check It Out

Yes, the Litter Kwitter is a real thing. Vendor Firebox, known for their elaborate April Fool's pranks, repeatedly assures us that this seeming 20-pound chocolate Lionel Richie head of cat supplies is not a joke. So now that we have its credibility established, we can move on to discussing how a 3-step training system that teaches cats to pee and poo in human toilets is almost certainly an omen of the End of Days. I give humanity another 2 years max before the felines armor up and take us out in the ApoCATlypse.

Firebox, on the other hand, deems the Litter Kwitter "the next logical evolution in feline domestication." Developed by animal behaviorists and advocated by the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals), the system endeavors to make quick and easy work out of focusing cats' natural instincts to teach them to do their business on the pot. Presuming owners are diligent and successful in this training, the result would be an obliteration of their home's smelly and vile litter boxes, plus millions of dollars in savings on the pebbly matter that fills them.

The Litter Kwitter package includes a universal base plate for attachment to almost any toilet seat, plus 3 training discs that owners progressively remove as their cats becomes more familiar with relieving themselves on their new, fully-plumbed litter box. Precise training times will depend on a cat's age, temperament, sense of adventure, and intelligence. So as with humans, the old, cranky, anxious, and dumb ones may be lost causes. Litter Kwitter training systems also come with an instructional DVD. I think for the cat trainers, not the cat trainees.

Buy Now

PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger

$15.99 from Amazon »

To truly get how the PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger works, you've got to watch the video. Granted, it's not the best quality, and if you're like me you'll get a little caught up on, How many times is that dude...

Check it out

Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

Buy Now

The Odorless Toilet Fan

$169.95 from Amazon »

The Odorless Toilet Fan claims to be "the #1 way to eliminate #2 odor." The unit installs inside your toilet tank to inhale all the foul-smelling air your bowel movements produce so you don't have to....

Check it out

$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat


The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

Check it out

Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

Buy Now

Delectables SqueezeUps - Go-Gurt for Cats

$15.76 - $17.99 from Amazon »

I can has creamy tuna Go-Gurt? Yes, cats of the world, thanks to Delectables SqueezeUps, you can. Fire up your tongue and mind your claws because this is how this treat session's gonna go: I hold and squeeze, you lick...

Check it out

Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

Buy Now

Dog & Cat Temperament Leashes & Collars

$14.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Dexil's leashes and collars announce your dog or cat ahead of its licks and wags...or tucked tails...or snarls, hisses, claws, and teeth. The line of leads and restraints display pet temperament both by color and big...

Check it out

Cat Cool Pot Bed Pet Cooling Tray

Japan Trend Shop says the Cat Cool Pot Bed "functions as both a pet bed and as fun decoration to make your cat look cute." I thought they were going to say the dish made from "cooling aluminum" functions as both a cat...

Check it out

Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

Check it out

Your Pet's Fur Watches

Wait! Don't throw away the dog fur you just lint rollered off the couch, or the cat hair you dug out of the vacuum cleaner filter! Stuff that cuddly wad of goodness into a Ziploc and ship it off to Analog Watch Co. They...

Buy Now

Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$19.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...