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K-9 Kannon Ball Launcher

By: on May 23, 2013
$12.03
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This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus and line up with good body position and engage your core on the throw...and features a hands-free pickup design and built-in extra ball storage.

I think I will buy a K-9 Kannon, but instead of using it to launch tennis balls I am going to use it to launch dinner rolls. Have you ever heard of Lambert's, the Home of the Throwed Rolls in Sikeston, MO? Sikeston is a glorious town containing 2 things: a gas station and a restaurant known for the enormous hunks of bread its staff chucks at hungry patrons. You sit in these long, pew-like booths in a 1,000-square foot dining room, and the servers come around with unlimited vats of southern comfort food, such as fried okra and black-eyed peas and macaroni & tomatoes, and then when the yeast has risen and bread baked, a couple of skilled arms emerge from the kitchen yelling, "Rolls!" Takers raise a hand, and the dough she gets to flyin'. If it sounds like a circus of redneck gluttony, that's because it is. Definitely not to be missed on a road trip.

Suggested via Dude Product Tips by Robert M. Hats off once again, Robert.

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NERF Nuke

$99.99 from ThinkGeek »

Though we've long since entered the nuclear age, NERF has always inexplicably resisted foamifying the most powerful bomb in the world into a play toy for children. That is, until now. Dribble your drool upon the NERF...

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Swearball - Record & Fling Your Insults

Sold Out from Amazon »

Swearball invites you to "Give a flying F*%K." In fact, fling one. Hard. Inside this soft, squishy, grapefruit-sized ball lies a recordable sound module. Squeeze the ball to activate it, unleash up to 20 seconds of insults...

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Shed Defender Dog Onesie

$39.99 - $61.99 from Amazon »

Will zipping your dog into a Shed Defender make him look like a canine fool? Sure. But no more so than putting him in pet samurai armor or an AT-AT costume for your personal viewing pleasure. And while the latter have...

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No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

$65 - $400 from No More Woof »

From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery--yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson--comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops it...

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The Dude Dog Sweater

$49 - $59 from Pendleton »

If The Dude were a dog, there's no question this Pendleton sweater is what he'd wear. But. What kind dog would he be while wearing it? St. Bernard? Shar-Pei? Scruffy hound dog?...

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 from Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

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King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

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Madballs Foam Balls

$10.90 - $13.90 from Amazon »

Weeee! Madballs are back. Just in time for Halloween and the 867th time this year I've wished so hard I could go back to the simpler days of my childhood in the 80s....

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Wooly Snuffle Foraging & Feeding Mat for Dogs

$49.95 from Amazon »

No, it's not a scalped Fraggle, it's the Wooly Snuffle Mat. Here to facilitate one and restrain another of your dog's instilled canine instincts with its shag-rug-on-acid pile....

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iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher

$114.99 from Amazon »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle....

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Wiener Dog Earplugs

$11.50 from Koncent »

I don't know who let the dogs out, and thanks to these Mimi Pet Nagai Dachshund earplugs I'll never hear anyone else wonder, Who, who, who, who?! again....