If we can teach rats to run mazes and cows to jump over moons, why not teach fish to kick a soccer ball or swim through hoops? The R2 Fish School Fish Training Kit, developed by master trainer of the gilled ones Dr. Dean Pomerleau, includes a 45-minute, detailed instructional DVD, and full-colored manual with over 100 photos and training tips for turning your aquarium into a veritable circus of seafood. It's not quite at Blown Glass Hermit Crab Shell levels of awesome, but imagine the money you could make charging little kids and high people $5 a pop to watch your angelfish weave through posts on command, or throw a Brady-style rocket to the fancy guppy receiver.
Schooling revolves around an included feeding wand that makes it "easy to reward your fish at correct times." And is presumably sturdy enough for use in beating them when they F up. Don't miss this opportunity to spend hours upon hours teaching the pet you bought due to its minimal time and care requirements to play fetch, shoot hoops, swim the slalom, even limbo dance. Fish limbo! I'll tell you one thing: any fish of mine that can learn how to limbo is getting a free pass from the dinner plate.
Fish Training Kits come with over 25 different pieces of athletic training gear, such as hoops, tunnels, balls, goal posts, an 11.4" x 2.6" x 6.9" R2 Fish School training field, and a compact base platform for bowls or smaller aquariums.