90

Cat Hamster Wheel

By: on December 24, 2012
$349.99
Check It Out

In a way I hate the idea of the Toy-Go-Round cat hamster wheel because really the only kinds of cats I like are the lazy fat ones that look as if they might go into cardiac arrest if they even stood up. But in another way, look at that cat running on a hamster wheel in the video! It's almost like it realizes it's getting played and looks like a complete fool and everyone (definitely me) is laughing at it, but it just...can't...stop. Cap it all off with "Eye of the Tiger" pumping in the background, and you get a pet exercise wheel that's pure, raw money.

Well, that's what it costs anyway. Cat Wheel Company has a lengthy list of benefits for felines using their Toy-Go-Round, and for the wheel's steep $350 price tag, I can only hope at least half of them are valid. Here's the spin:

  • The Toy-Go-Round dramatically reduces bad cat behavior resulting from boredom. [Please say this includes peeing on things. I can't think of a substance on earth more vile and noxious and able to make me wish I had no sense of smell like this guy Stan I know than cat pee.]
  • The Toy-Go-Round keeps cats fit and healthy by offering a unique opportunity for indoor exercise. [Yeahhh, but so does this, and it costs less than $20.]
  • The Toy-Go-Round diminishes feline aggressiveness. [If this is true, sold. Cats are some mean mothers.]
  • The Toy-Go-Round helps cats sleep better at night. [But will it help them sleep better somewhere besides on my face?]
  • The Toy-Go-Round curbs appetite. [Again, I don't consider this a benefit.]
  • The Toy-Go-Round will curb kitties' desires to escape your household. [I understand not beating them and/or dressing them up like princesses and making them partake in tea parties accomplishes this too.]
  • The Toy-Go-Round alleviates destructive scratching. [My arms and face appreciate that.]
  • The Toy-Go-Round hinders compulsive behaviors. [By replacing them with a different one.]

Cat hamster wheels are made from strong, but lightweight, recycled plastic and support cats up to 50 pounds. Holy crap, can someone please send me a picture of a 50-pound cat? They measure 43" in diameter and have a 10" wide running tread (tread pads included). Smooth spinning occurs on a dual ball bearing axle. The Toy-Go-Rounds come in solid black; the sweet tiger marking stickers will run you an additional $10.

Buy Now

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

$8.49 from Amazon »

A must-read for every cat parent! How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives consolidates 8 crucial public service pamphlets into a clear...

Check it out

$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

Check it out

Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

Buy Now

Wooden Cat Pile Stacking Game

$19.99 from Amazon »

This desktop-sized Wooden Cat Pile game is the only way I'd let another 6 cats in my house. The only! Do you hear that, She-Ra: Princess of Power? And agreeing even to that much is very generous of me. I can already see...

Check it out

Iron Throne Cat Bed

$198 from Etsy »

Is your cat the rightful heir to the FELIRON THRONE? A bright spot in my week of Game of Thrones withdrawal (2019? 2019?!) Kate Agafonova's Iron Throne Cat Bed invites kitties from all families - royals, wardens, lords...

Buy Now

DrivewaySpike U-Turn Deterrents

$39.95 - $44.95 from Amazon »

Is this a real problem? Or rather, is it such a big deal? People using your driveway as a turnaround. Cars getting lost or going one street too far and pulling into 20' of your pavement to correct their mistake. Since...

Check it out

Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

Check it out

Uno Bolt E-Unicycle

$999 - $1,099 from Uno Bolt »

Uno, dos, tres...Bolt! You won't go 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds - or ever - on the Uno Bolt, but you will have the privilege of scooting away lickety split from the lady who caught you helping yourself to her plum tree (hey...

Check it out

Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

Buy Now

SureFlap Microchip Pet Door

$150 - $170.99 from Amazon »

Tired of the neighbor's cat Willard and his local gang of raccoons letting themselves in your dog door to clean you out of tuna fish and play poker at your kitchen table? Lock them out with SureFlap's Microchip Pet Door...

Check it out

Hamster Wheel Standing Desk

FREE from Instructables »

Get in your wheels and start churning out the fiscal year-end spreadsheets, hamsters! And when you're done don't forget to thank me for the bulged disks and sciatica I'm preventing by allowing you to stand up and walk...

Check it out

OGarden Rotating Indoor Plant Wheel

$1,397 from OGarden »

OGarden thinks your plants might like to take a ride on the ferris wheel too. This rotating indoor garden gives those of us without the space or climate conditions we'd need to grow our own food in a VegTrug outdoors...