Gear

Finger Fork

$7.41 - $10.91 from Shapeways »

I don't know if attaching a Finger Fork to one of your digits would make it easier or harder, more or less pleasant to chow down. Designer JC Karich envisions the Inspector Gadget-style extensions as fun ways for kiddos...

Stinger Whip Car Emergency Tool

$59.99 from Amazon »

I'm not sure what sort of "car emergency" I'd need an 18" stainless steel construction cable whip for, but OK Stinger Whip. If you want to throw a glass breaker and a seatbelt cutter onto your self defense scourge's kubaton-style...

Kaweco Special Brass Mechanical Pencil

$46.25 from Amazon »

The Kaweco Special Brass Mechanical Pencil might not have the words written along its barrel, but all it takes is one look at this 8-faced shimmering brass beauty and German import to know: it's mother fucking pencil...

Scribit Write & Erase Robot

$499 from Scribit »

Great! Now robots are taking over kids' jobs of drawing on the walls! The Scribit is a writing robot - writing and erasing, actually - you can program to create interactive artwork or present information on your whiteboard...

STEAM CLIP Travel Multi-Tool

$12.88 from Amazon »

The STEAM CLIP Travel Multi-Tool endeavors to bring an existing de-wrinkling hack to the button-up shirts and silk dresses of hotel dwellers. And, when you're not steaming your clothes, you can use the handy hook to cut...

Destruct Hard Drive Data Eraser

$23.99 from Amazon »

Sometimes we clamor to get an external hard drive to protect our data, while other times we seek out a Destruct to erase it. Oh the dichotomies of life...

Off-Grid Knives Fat Boy Blackout Utility Knife

$39 from Amazon »

With an AUS8 Fat Boy from Off-Grid Knives, you'll have a sexy companion to join you in full Blackout Mode this New Year's Eve...

Tablet-Sized Light Therapy Lamp

$27.98 from Amazon »

This tablet-sized light therapy lamp is here to turn your winter frown upside down. While many studies indicate extended screen time is harmful to our bodies and mind, this "screen" emits up to 12,000 lux of sunlight-simulating...

Somnox Sleep Robot - Stress Reliever & Sleep Aid

$999 from Amazon »

The Somnox Sleep Robot is the grown ass man's and woman's teddy bear. The stress reliever and sleep aid is ergonomically designed as a cuddle-friendly peanut, but also does much more than bring comfort through its plush...

Texas Toothpick

Sold Out from Amazon »

Texas Toothpick is a euphemism for this 2-pronged S-curve's true nature and intent. I almost selected it as the next edition of What Is This Thing? but decided its application isn't discrete or practical enough to make...

Levit8 Flat-Folding Portable Standing Desk

$23.95 - $34.95 from Amazon »

The Levit8 is a portable standing desk that carries flat like folder, and then goes all geometric screensaver dance to twist out into an elevated work surface when you want to stand on two feet rather than sit on 2 cheeks...

Netgear Home WiFi Range Extender

$29.99 from Amazon »

Netgear's EX3700 home WiFi range extender isn't the sexiest gift you could wrap up and put under the tree this year. But if your intended recipient has crappy, stunted WiFi, and up to 1,000 square feet of space in need...

Walkee Paws Waterproof Dog Leggings

$32.99 - $39.99 from Amazon »

If I were a dog, and someone put a pair of Walkee Paws dog leggings on me, I would walkee my paws right back into my crate and shut the door. I'd rather forego my walk, my chance to pee on 78 different wonders of nature...

Terminator Cell Phone Stun Gun

$17.49 from Amazon »

"I'll be ba-ZZZZZZT!" There's your Terminator. "New phone, who diZZZZZZT!" There's your cell phone. ZZZZZZT! them together and what do you get? The Terminator Cell Phone Stun Gun...

Muscle Suit Every - Exoskeleton for Heavy Lifting

The Muscle Suit Every is gonna be that forever positive and optimistic friend who's always telling you to lighten up, dude! I mean, the couch only weighs 450 pounds, and it's only the 3rd time your wife has asked you...

Gil Hibben Hurricane Pocket Knife

Sold Out from Amazon »

Here I am! Rock me like a Hibben Hurricane! The Hurricane Pocket Knife series from master bladesmith Gil Hibben arrives just in time to meet both your EDCarry and EDChristmas needs as an attractive, functional, and affordable...

Oreo Mug Ultimate Dunking Gift Set

$22.73 from Amazon »

Milk & cookies for Santa served in an Ultimate Oreo Dunking Set? Uh...maybe he can have my sloppy seconds after I get my cookie-sloshin' game on...

BRIK - Pocket Knife in a Concrete Block Gift Box

$29.99 from Brik »

It's all smash 'n' score whether you're the recipient or the giver of a BRIK concrete block gift. With a BRIK, the packaging is half - maybe more - the fun, though those who take a BASH sledgehammer to their gift wrap...

Dragon's Breath Jumbo Turbo Blue Flame Torch

$19.99 from Amazon »

Viserion, is that you? This dragon breathes blue fire, shooting at will (or at his Night King's command) to incinerate everything in its path...

Skiary SK-3 Smartphone Dermatoscope

$198.99 from Amazon »

Find your own melanomas and get up close & personal with moles and the zit-popping experience using this Skiary SK-3 Smartphone Dermatoscope! It's like a microscope for the skin that also provides polarized and UV lighting...

Royal Brew Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Maker

$149.99 - $219.99 from Amazon »

Nitro cold brew for under 4 bucks a pop, courtesy of the Royal Brew Nitro Cold Brew Coffee Maker. Unlike standard cold brew coffee makers (i.e., jars with steepers) Royal Brew adds nitrogen and a keg to the percolating...

The Polaroid Lab - Digital to Analog Photo Printer

$129.93 from Amazon »

Now that you've scanned all of your old analog photographs and converted them to digital copies to free up some physical space in your house, The Polaroid Lab is here to help you...uh...turn them all back into hard copies...

Funnel Gag Beer Bong

$59.99 from Etsy »

Who needs a gag gift? Yuk, yuk, yuk. Or rather, Glug, glug, glug if you're using the Funnel Gag Beer Bong correctly and like the Natty-Light-guzzling slave you are...

Road Rage Restrictor

What?! Road Rage Restrictor? Middle finger on lockdown? Well, more like Pointer, Ring Finger, and Pinky on lockup. But, but, why? One of the only redeeming qualities of driving today is being able to flip off other drivers...