Gear

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Scented Croissant Stress Toy

$10.99 from Amazon »

I don't know if a memory foamy croissant that emits the scent of mankind's greatest pastry when you squeeze it is so much a stress reliever as it is a stress creator. Holidays got you frazzled with the shopping frenzy...

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Oral Rehydration Salts

$13.99 from Amazon »

Oral rehydration salts should part of everyone's survival kit. Especially your survival kit for New Year's Eve. And Christmas Eve. And the office holiday party with the open bar. And your friend Cornelius' Ugly Christmas...

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Chill-O-Matic Automatic Drink Chiller

$25.18 from Amazon »

The Chill-O-Matic is for when your friend Cornelius takes the last sodie from the fridge and doesn't. Put. More. In! Cornelius, you jackass! It's like, it's like...what's that, Sugar Lips? Huh. She-Ra: Princess of Power...

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AncestryDNA - DNA Ancestry Test Kit

$99 from Amazon »

AncestryDNA, where did I come from? Well kids, it's a lot more complicated than the stork, and it's a lot more complex than the birds and the bees. The AncestryDNA genetic testing kit helps curious boys and girls discover...

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Mpow Bluetooth Over Ear Headphones

$79.99 from Amazon »

From what I gather, Mpow makes some pretty alright headphones at some pretty alright prices. The over ear Bluetooth model I've picked out here touts the simple feature of high quality sound...

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Electric Head Massager

$165 from Amazon »

I want to know, you want to know, so we may as well just ask: does the electric head massager give good head? And if so, how good? What kind of good? Does it just find its grip and squeeze, or is there some steady, calculated...

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Vibrating Panties (NSFW)

$15.99 from Amazon »

New life hack, ladies: vibrating panties for your long, miserable commute. Vibrating panties for your long, miserable shift. Vibrating panties for your long, miserable night of caring for your poor little monkey with...

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netool Simple Network Analyzer

$196.17 from Amazon »

netool endeavors to do the big work of bulky network analyzers in a package small enough to put in a pouch made to hold pens. For both professionals and individuals looking to troubleshoot or get diagnostics on their...

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Feisty Pets Santa Bear

$19.99 from Amazon »

Remember Feisty Pets? The sweet-to-snarling stuffed animals are celebrating the holiday season with a Feisty Santa Bear, the ultimate cuddly teddy who can turn vicious grizzly in the blink of an eye. Or, more accurately...

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Raclette Personal Cheese Melter

$24.99 from Amazon »

From whence does this Raclette personal cheese melter come? For those unfamiliar, Raclette is both a big ol' hunk of Swiss cheese, and a Swiss method of melting layers of the cheese over a fire, and scraping them off...

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My MUG Indestructible Ceramic Coffee Mug

$15 - $24 from Making Modern »

Knock a My MUG off the counter and you might be cleaning up some liquid, but your solid form of matter will stay intact. Made to feel like ceramic in the hand, but behave like titanium when that hand is a wee bit clumsy...

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Smell of Data - Internet Data Leak Alert Device

The Smell of Data doesn't protect you from hackers. Just like the smell of gas doesn't protect you from inhaling or a spark from igniting it. But both smells serve as alerts that things aren't right, and that you should...

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Embrava Best Ever Water Bottle

$37.95 from Amazon »

Embrava's water bottle is hands down (and bottoms up) the best water bottle I've ever owned. I'll grant, whether you agree with me or not depends on what you're looking for in a water bottle, but if we have similar requirements...

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Dunking Buddy Mess-Free Cookie Dunker

$9.15 from Amazon »

That's Dunking Buddy, not Drunking Buddy, Cornelius. Don't worry, I'm not replacing you. In fact, you could say that I'm making our Scotch Sundays, Tequila Tuesdays, Whiskey Wednesdays even better. This cup and magnetic...

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Gentleman's Bogotas - Lapel Lockpicks

$34.95 from Rift Recon »

Bogotas fit for a gentleman. Lockpicks that pin and tuck all suave and covert beneath the lapel of my jacket. Now this is something I need...for no reason whatsoever. But I'm not here to talk about what I need. Add Gentleman's...

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ASUS RT-AC86U Ultrafast Gaming Router

$199.99 from Amazon »

I'm home alone. Eating some guac and Juanita's, playing some War Thunder. And I feel the need. The need for speed. The ASUS RT-AC86U gaming router will not make me a better fighter pilot.

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Wurf Board Standing Desk Air-Spring Anti-Fatigue Mat

$199 - $269 from Amazon »

The Wurf Board lets you ride the waves...of unending emails...and hang ten...Excel spreadsheets of Q3 product reports...right from your desk, all day long. The anti-fatigue mat for standing desks doesn't just copy the...

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

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Madballs Foam Balls

$10.90 - $13.90 from Amazon »

Weeee! Madballs are back. Just in time for Halloween and the 867th time this year I've wished so hard I could go back to the simpler days of my childhood in the 80s...

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Cereal Killer Bowl

$26 from Amazon »

Decimate the Froot Loops, eradicate the Frosted Flakes, eliminate all traces of Trix with the Cereal Killer Bowl. Those Charms may be Lucky before the box is opened, but once once they hit your Dexter-approved bowl, it's...

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CUJO Smart Internet Security Firewall

$199 from Amazon »

This CUJO won't attack you like Stephen King's rabid dog, but if the smart firewall does its job, it will point that aggression towards the malware, ransomware, viruses, and other a-hole hacker moves vying to steal and...

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Vinci Smart Headphones with AI

Sold Out from Amazon »

I like that Vinci's headphones are smart enough that I can ditch my phone and still stream music. And I like that they're voice activated for hands-free song selection. And in theory I like the Vinci's artificial intelligence...

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Jumbo Shrimp Neck Pillow

$29.99 from Amazon »

Eat shrimp: check. Sleep shrimp: check. Now. Who's gonna make a way to breathe shrimp? The Jumbo Shrimp Neck pillow, curled and cooked to orange perfection, gives shellfish lovers a welcome place to rest their weary heads...

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The Dead of Night Zombie Lamp

$135 from Amazon »

When you're spooked and unsettled in the dead of night, flick on this zombie lamp and - Waahhh! - realize that's what was spooking and unsettling you in the first place. The Dead of Night Lamp from sculptor and FX artist...