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Wampa Ice Scraper Mitt

By: on September 05, 2012
$24.99
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Who better to scrape the 8 inches of snow and half-inch screen of mother f'in ice off your windshield this winter than the abominable snowman himself? Or at least his severed limb. Slide on the Wampa Ice Scraper Mitt, and watch the layers upon layers of celestial poo the sky dumped on your car glide off. Without acquiring a soaking wet shirtsleeve and mild case of frostbite. I'm hoping the Wampa's menacing claws will also maybe wean my partially senile neighbor's Westie off his routine of humping my leg 'til kingdom come as I try to leave for work and they head home from his morning walk.

Note that vendor ThinkGeek makes a comment about using the Wampa scraper and then drinking Hoth Cocoa. I point this out because it is clever and I think word of its existence should spread and I am taking the high road here and not trying to pass the punnerific gem off as my own. Though probably I could have thought of it if I were writing this while watching Star Wars. Or drinking hot cocoa.

Wampa Mitt components are two-part. 1) A standard ice scraper enveloped in a 2) warm, cozy, 100% polyester mitten.

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Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder

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My Episode IV A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder hears the collective wail of all adult Star Wars fans and comes out with pre-order information for a second model of the replica X-34. One that supports weights...

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$64.45 from Amazon »

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The only thing this Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table is missing is my feet. As Han Solo and Chewie expertly maneuver their ship through an asteroid field to evade Vader and his fleet, I relax with a Bud Light Lime...

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Python Skin Death Trooper Helmet

$3k from ELEMNT »

I think this python skin Death Trooper Helmet solidifies maker ELEMNT's position on Team Dark Side. Their first snaked-out Star Wars replica payed homage to Darth Vader, and was shaped around one of the 1,200 collector's...

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$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Star Wars Pipes

$55 - $69 from Etsy »

One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a...

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Boba Fett Motorcycle Helmet

Unlike a few selections in this slideshow of sick motorcycle helmets, you can probably wear HJC's new RPHA 11 Boba Fett helmet without getting laughed off the road (it's an obvious, but not over-the-top Star Wars circus...

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The Force Awakens First Order Stormtrooper Helmet

$200 from Anovos »

The good news is this is the first ever Standard Line version of a Star Wars: The Force Awakens First Order Stormtrooper Helmet, and you can have one for $200 ($249.95 if you wait until October 1 to order). That bad news...

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Rebel Bass Guitar

$945 - $1,325 from Doni Guitars »

No longer must you search the galaxy to find this Rebel Bass, but you will have to wait at least 3 months to get it. Last Fall, after photos of his custom Star Wars guitars had gone viral online, Englishman Doni opened...

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Boba Fett Edition Nerf Rival Apollo XV-700

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Hold on to your fantasies of Nerf-blasting your friend Cornelius in the junk like a Mandalorian warrior at the beach this summer. This Boba Fett edition Rival Apollo XV-700 won't ship until November 2017 (just in time...

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Darth Vader Engagement Ring

$390 - $2,995 from Sapphire Studios »

Marry me and come to the Dark Side! Come on, ladies, even in you're not into Darth Vader or Star Wars, you gotta indulge any man who presents you with a Vader helmet engagement ring. If for no other reason than the license...