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Shark Sleeping Bag

By: on August 21, 2013
  • Shark Sleeping Bag
  • Shark Sleeping Bag
$229.99
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Is there any sight more precious and heartwarming than a loved one sleeping peacefully within the jaws of a shark? Oh come on, in a way he's protecting them. I hear that even kidnappers, bogeymen, and dogs who like humping faces won't do anything to anger the Reapers of the sea. Nestled between rows and rows...and rows...of blade-sharp teeth this sleeping bag occupant might in fact be in the safest place in the world.

The Chumbuddy Shark Sleeping Bag is a touch unwieldy for backpacking trips--though again, make the effort to schlep it with you, and rest easy knowing bears and Bigfoot will X you off their To Eat list--but ranks as the swellest of swell additions to other occasions. Like a slumber party. And the bribe you've concocted to get the 8-year-old son of a MILF to tell his mom you're the bee's knees and he would love it if she sent him to his grandma's house for the weekend and invited you over on Saturday night.

The shark's dorsal fin removes to double as a pillow. Or, you know, a sex Wedge.

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The Camperbox - Backseat Bed in a Bag

$157 - $175 from The Camperbox »

It's like The Camperbox read my mind. I was just talking about sleeping in a van down by the river. But it was in reference to Raptor's Platform XL fishing boat, what I consider to be the water-faring version of a van...

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The Shark Buggy

$244.99 from Amazon »

Maclaren's toothy Shark Buggy wins the Best Shark Merch Award for 2017. (The Animatronic Shark Costume took 2016, while 2013, 2014, and 2015 all went to the Sharkini.) Seeing a kid chillin' between the jaws of this delightful...

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Sharkini Swimsuit

$120 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...

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Seabreacher Shark X Water Jet

$90k from Seabreacher »

Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to...

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Animatronic Shark Costume

By: VFXLAB »

Seabob, an animatronic shark costume visual effects designers VFXLAB recently took for a test swim in the San Bernardino Doubletree Hotel pool, is many things. Funny, a good prank, and a way for my friend Cornelius to...

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Kamp-Rite Double Tent Cot

$228.92 from Amazon »

A double Kamp-Rite Tent Cot?! Now that's a fine looking piece of sleeping dry and critter-free amidst the glory of nature and a liter of hooch. But my girlfriend hates camping. I only go with my friend Cornelius and...

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The Tentanic 1,000-Person Tent

$11,882 from Firebox.com »

Ahhh, the Tentanic is cruising towards shore just in time for both camping season, and the 3D re-release of Leonardo DiCaprio's most humiliating 3 hours on the big screen. A 1:2 scale replica of the luxurious Titanic...

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Sleeping Bag Chair

Someone please tell me this is the new proposed design for airplane seats. The Cocon is an armchair with an integrated sleeping bag. Designed by Celine Merhand and Anais Morel of Les M, the piece endeavors initiate "maximum...

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Wearable Sleeping Bag

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Sweet, a onesie for temperatures even colder than my parents keep their house. Selk'bag's wearable sleeping bags cater to all outdoor enthusiasts looking to stay warm without the constriction of a traditional rectangular...

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Shark Hologram LED Night Light Lamp

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If they'd given Joseph an Amazing Technicolor Dream Shark instead of a Dream Coat, this holographic LED lamp is probably what it would have looked like. It would've been a way better gift too--I bet Joseph's brothers...

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The Sharkalope

$319.95 from Zombie Tools »

The dudes at Zombie Tools call their new Sharkalope knife "an unholy confusion of genetics." I love the dudes at Zombie Tools. I hate them too. Because not only are they way better at their job of forging apocalyptic...

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Shark Repellent Grenade

$16 from Amazon »

Surfers, SCUBA divers, mermaids, and baby seals now have a means of deterring the Ultimate Dread. Thwarting the very reason some break a sweat at the mere mention of the ocean. These here grenades contain a highly calibrated...