Defender Gas Mask
I'm imagining how much toxic air I could intake, and how many zombies I could Sucker Punch in this kick ass leather and aluminum Defender Gas Mask. Pretty sure the total is zero, but I'm going to look so damn cool getting asphyxiated and eaten. One of Tom and Jill Banwell's multitudinous facial costume creations, the steampunk-inspired gas mask was hand-shaped and stitched, with every part except the buckles custom designed and fabricated for its exclusive splendor.
Both of the Defender's eyepieces--a deep right eye with a small aperture and a large, charcoal-lensed left eye--provide visuals whilst protecting the wearer from identification and pet hair infiltration. A "sea anemone" respirator includes tiny ventilation holes for easy oxygen intake and carbon dioxide exhalation, but will probably make it pretty difficult to do keg stands.
The gas mask's five straps and steel buckles adjust for varying sized melons, fitting everything from tiny, post-shrinkage Beetlejuice heads up to XL Giada De Laurentiis types with cranial diameters of 24". To affix Defender to face, place the bottom over your chin, and then pull the top three straps upwards, over your head. Buckle the bottom two straps to secure, and go forth into the bleak, apocalyptic night.
And be sure to enter to win a sold-out set of Zombie Apocalypse Bedding from Dude's latest Giveaway on your way out.